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I was 12 when my father left. Nearing the end of seventh grade.
We left our town in Kansas. We left the church he pastored and the radio station he ran and the house with the pool in the backyard. Apparently, we were bankrupt too.
My mother, brother, and I moved in with her parents in Houston. My grandfather was an interim pastor just making ends meet. Mom subscribed for food stamps to help with the grocery bill, a fact my grandmother could never fully accept. We heard the landlord back in Kansas had thrown out all our personal belongings before a friend had a chance to gather them up and drive them down to us. All I brought was my stuffed bear.
Mom looked for a job and a church member gave us a 1973 Impala (in 1986) to drive as we tried to make sense of our devastated lives. Mom found a teaching job outside of town and my brother and I rode with her every day to a school north of Houston that next year.
I remember sitting on the floor of the bathroom upstairs in my grandparents’ house and locking the door. I clutched a picture of my father, as I closed my eyes and pretended it was all a dream. I wanted to believe that when I woke up, our life would be back to the way it was.
You see, I was always a dreamer.
So much of what I struggle with now–materialism, pride, a craving for stability–stems from that year and the years that followed in high school.
They were lean times. Thanksgiving dinners left at the door. Mom’s friends’ hand-me-downs to wear for my freshman year at a new school. Rushing to pay the electric bill the day it was due to be cut off.
All too often, I let all that was spinning outside define me inside.
Where I was became who I was. What we had became what I was worth. How we lived was a reflection of all I lacked.
It took years of God working with me. Years for me to see God’s truth that Where we are is not Who we are. (<==== Click to tweet)
It took me two decades to understand that my circumstances do not define me.
They test me; they do not reflect me. They surround me; they do not pervade me.
My bank account does not make me poor.
II Corinthians 8:9 – For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.
My infertility does not make me inadequate.
Psalm 139:14 – I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My unemployment does not make me unwanted.
Philippians 4: 12 – 13 – I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
My singleness does not make me solitary.
Isaiah 43, Jeremiah 29, Ezekiel 20 – I am with you; I will gather you; I will accept you as fragrant incense.
My weight does not make me unlovable.
II Thessalonians 2:16-17 – May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you…
My scars do not make me imperfect.
Hebrews 10:14 – For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.
I am His and I am rich, more than enough, wanted, accepted, loved, and perfect in His sight. (<==== Click to tweet)
Because I refuse to let my circumstances dictate my worth.
Shared by: Gindi Vincent
______________________
Linking up with Holley Gerth’s series, Coffee for Your Heart. Join us?
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Kristin Waters says
I love how you laid it all out – that our circumstances do not define us. We struggle through hurt feelings, surprising medical results, challenging economic times, and spans of lonliness- yet, in God we are loved THROUGH it all…. Thank you for your heart today, Gindi ♡
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Gindi says
That’s it Kristin – loved THROUGH it all, thanks for sharing.
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Ashley Fields says
Thank you Gindi! Too often I fall in the trap of defining myself according to life’s situations whether it be my singleness, the fact that I am a student again, my family’s current financial woes or other things in my life that I feel I am lacking in. I tend to forget that God does not define me in that way. He sees his precious child who he loves unconditionally. On this morning especially, after yet another disappointment earlier in the week, I needed that reminder. Thank you again!
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Gindi says
Oh yes Ashley, I’ve been right there – the finances, student life, singleness, yes. Knowing that it’s all paving the way for God to use us so boldly, let’s us walk through the fire to the other side.
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Alecia says
LOVE this SOOO much!! Thank you for these life-freeing truths this morning!!
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Gindi says
Thank you Alecia! It’s good for me to repeat them to myself 🙂
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Kristin Smith says
Oh friend these words. SUCH TRUTH! Thank you thank you for being brave and sharing the difficult parts of your story!! So proud to see all God is doing with you and through you right now!!
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Charlotte Hammer says
Loved reading this because I struggle with this as well. Such a simple truth…but so profound. Thank you for sharing the hard bits.
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Gindi Vincent says
The hard bits are certainly what grow us the most, thanks for sharing Charlotte.
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Mandy says
Gindi, this is so beautifully vulnerable! I feel like being let in to someone’s story is sacred ground. Than you for sharing this and the truths we can hold onto from it. Love you!
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Gindi Vincent says
Thank you so much Mandy – yes, love you too friend!
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Trudy says
Thank you, Gindi, for blessing my heart today with this heart-warming truth. I need more determination to “refuse to let my circumstances dictate my worth.” Grace – needed daily, hourly, moment by moment!
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Gindi Vincent says
Grace, that is definitely the trick Trudy, thanks for joining us today.
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Becky says
Such beautiful knowing in your words. Your truths and reminders blessed me today!
Visiting from Coffee for your heart!
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Gindi Vincent says
Thanks for coming over Becky – loved seeing how much Holley’s message was this same truth!
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Janet says
It was a true blessing reading your story today. God has really worked in your life and brought you so far. Your faith has healed you. Such a testimony!
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Gindi Vincent says
Absolutely Janet, the faith of a mustard seed!
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Jenna // A Mama Collective says
Gindi, this is beautiful. And such great and powerful truth. Thank you so much for speaking bravely about what we all need to hear, constantly. To be reminded, constantly, that we are loved just as we are. Not circumstances, not actions, not enough besides our own beings. That is all. Thank you, thank you. So glad to have found you through Holley’s linkup 🙂 ~Jenna // A Mama Collective
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Gindi Vincent says
I’m so glad you made your way here too Jenna! We are loved no matter what – yes, that always makes me go, “WHEW!”
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Ronja says
What a great, beautiful post! It is so true, way too often I let my circumstances define me. Thank you for reminding me of the way God looks at me, of the truth. Definitely needed this today!
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Gindi Vincent says
Thank you Ronja – it is always good for me to remember too!
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June says
Hi, Gindi, I found you through Holley’s “coffee” linky. I love your blog name and header! Nicely done!
Beautifully written post. This seems to be a bit of an {unintended} theme this week at Coffee For Your Heart. I do believe the how we respond to our circumstances speaks to who we are and where we are in our relationship with God. I believe He uses our circumstances to teach us, grow us and mold us into the person we {ultimately} “already are” in Christ. I love the way you laid out the scripture to respond to certain statements. So inspiring!
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Gindi Vincent says
June – thanks so much for coming over, and yes I couldn’t believe Holley’s post when I read it and this was our post for today, clearly God had a message in mind!
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Sarah says
Thank you for sharing your painful past and for allowing God to use you! I love that-they test me; they don’t reflect me.
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Gindi Vincent says
Thanks so much Sarah – yes, it’s a process, a test, but not a verdict!
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joy says
I can so relate to having a terrible and heartbreaking childhood. But God made ne whole too and is now very blessed.
thanks for being an inspiration.
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Gindi Vincent says
Thank you Joy – and what a wonderful name as a reminder of what we find in Him.
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Amber K says
Some days you don’t know how much you need to read something until you click on it. Thank you for sharing your story!
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Gindi Vincent says
Thanks Amber – I’m so glad you found your way here.
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Toni C. says
Thank you for your transparency. And thank you for the reminder that we aren’t defined by where we are. – too often it is an easy trap I fall into. The wisdom in the truths you shared is so comforting. Blessings to you Gindi!
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Gindi Vincent says
THanks so much Toni – it is an easy trap but one we can sidestep with Him!
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