This is the morning, I tell myself, as I pour the coffee and head out to the picnic table.
It’s the morning I’m going to sit down and write those words, the ones that will be so profound, the ones that will inspire dreamers and push them to chase down whatever it is that’s burning in their hearts.
A smile creeps to my face as I take a seat at my little, yellow-and-turquoise-with-a-flower, table and begin to pound out the words.
And I’m not too far into it all before I feel the honest need to confess something.
I’m a writer at God-sized Dreams, and sometimes I feel like a big fake.
The truth? Is that, lately, I haven’t been doing much, if any, dreaming. Or writing.
And I think back to two and a half years ago, when the dream was so fresh and so exploding out of my heart, and I could hardly contain my enthusiasm for writing all the words about all the stories of our time overseas.
I was so sure it was all going to happen, this book-writing-being-famous-and-known, thing.
And, well…that hasn’t happened.
And lately I’ve found myself in the place of just trying to live…much less trying to dream. (<====Tweet this.)
My days?
They all kind of run together.
I’m a follower of my Father, and I try to love Him and live my days for Him. Some days I do better than others.
I’m a stay-at-home-mama to a wonderful little girl, the girl we call Mae, who’s really not so little at all and headed to Kindergarten in just two days. Send tissues and chocolate, please?
I’m a wife who tries to love her husband well and also keep up with the vacuuming and the dishes and laundry (and sometimes the dusting…ick) but I don’t find a lot of time to chase down any big dreams in between those things.
Mae and I will go off on adventures…park and swimming days, even an occasional visit to the little amusement park close to us. We’ll chase the dog and water flowers and read books and eat snacks and do the things that make up our days…and then night comes and the little one is off in her own kind of dreamland…
…and sometimes I’ll pull up my rough draft and think of the what-might’ve-beens. And I’ll wonder, too, if maybe I pulled the plug too early on what I’d always hoped He might be calling me to do.
It’s a hard place to be…in a season of wishing for so much more but knowing I’m where He wants me…
In choosing those moments of being content and knowing that, for now, His dream for me is to just live the life in front of me, the one that greets me with the dingy sound of my cell phone every morning around 6 am (or, ahem, 6:30…), my running shoes staring me down. 😉
I don’t know where you find yourself today, my dreaming friend. Maybe it’s in living a day very close to what I just described. Maybe you’re in a season of waiting. Or, maybe, you just don’t know and you haven’t found the courage or direction to take that next step yet.
I want you to know it’s ok. It really is.
Whatever the day is that might be stretching before you, know that living your life, doing the things He’s called you to…it’s all a part of the dream, too. A part of the journey.
And that journey? It is so, so very important. (<====Tweet this.)
Will you join me and find a way to embrace the season in which He has placed you?
How can I pray for you today? 🙂
Shared by Mel Schroeder
Toni C. says
August 17, 2015 at 7:08 amThanks so much for this post – you had me smiling a knowing smile from “It’s the morning I’m going to sit down and write those words, the ones that will be so profound, the ones that will inspire dreamers and push them to chase down whatever it is that’s burning in their hearts.” I attended my first writer’s conference 4 years ago last month filled with dreams of sharing all the things God has taught me – things I’ve shared in glimpses on my blog. But I so wasn’t yet where He needed me to be. There were lots more simple days of living as you are doing now – as well as learning-curve days, still ahead. And earlier this year I was in such a dry spell that for 4 months no words graced the pages of my blog. I even thought that perhaps the writing was just a season that was past and perhaps I’d know some day in the future why God had brought it to be. I sought His face about it during those months, and then, in one week’s time, I got three separate confirmations that He wasn’t done using this gift He’d given me. This year at the conference, I brought along a book proposal that was very different book than I thought I’d be writing 4 years earlier. There was lots of interest and I’m in the process of refining it and submitting it to six different editors/publishers who want to take a closer look. I don’t know if all that will manifest itself in a completed work, but the dream has been reawakened and I see how all the waiting time wasn’t wasted time, but part of the journey.
Mel Schroeder says
August 17, 2015 at 10:04 pmI love that you shared this, Toni…thank you. I think I have the mindset that this book-writing dream is over…when maybe He’s just doing the hard work of refining me to bring me to where I need to be to move forward. IF that’s what He wants. 😉 Sending you hugs and cheering for you as you chase down that dream! (Let us know what happens?) 🙂
kristine says
August 17, 2015 at 7:49 am“It’s all part of the dream.” Yes, that is so true. Every day, every moment. That’s why it’s important for us to live the dream right in front of us with enthusiasm and joy. The best place to be is right where God has us. Great post today, and such a needed reminder! Blessings, Mel:)
Mel Schroeder says
August 17, 2015 at 10:05 pmBlessings, Kristine…thank you for being here and for your sweet encouragement. 🙂
Kristin Hill Taylor says
August 17, 2015 at 8:30 amI love this peek into your life, Mel! That husband and girl of yours are blessed to have you. xoxo
Mel Schroeder says
August 17, 2015 at 10:10 pmYou are so sweet…and I’m so thankful for you, friend. xo
Faith To Shine says
August 17, 2015 at 10:39 amMel, I needed these words today. I have been in a vulnerable and awkward place between the newness of a dream and the everyday living its pursuit. Thank you, these are the words I’ve been searching for for weeks- and they settled my soul in the place of breathing. It really is ok. 🙂
Mel Schroeder says
August 17, 2015 at 10:12 pmSaying a prayer for you today as you wait and hope and chase…and breathe, too. Many blessings to you, friend! 🙂
Tina says
August 17, 2015 at 11:50 amI could’ve written this! I always thought if I could stay home, I’d be able to write the book I always wanted, paint beautiful paintings to sell, and organize thousands of photographs of my son into gorgeous scrapbooks, and start my own card making business! I’d have so much time to exercise and cook healthy meals! I’d be the fun mom who volunteered at school and get more involved with church. I’d have coffee with my neighbors and plan neighborhood events. Three years ago I left my full time job. The first year was filled with school activities, volunteer roles at church, spending long lazy summer days with my son and hanging out at the Y pool. I worked side by side with my husband on a few jobs he was working. Life was so full and so good! My writing and other artistic loves took a back seat to all the new found freedom of an unstructured daily schedule that I filled with loads of activities I never had the time for. I began to dream of new ideas that I thought God was sending me. I was on fire with so many fresh ideas involving a women’s ministry I wanted to implement. I set up meetings and shared my ideas. I put myself out there and then I waited. But nothing happened. A year went by and my fire started to fizzle. I questioned whether or not it was actually God feeding me. I started doubting myself. Insecurity flooded my thoughts and feelings. I thought I wasn’t young enough, smart enough or anything else that might be required. Over the last year, I’ve allowed the evil one to drain the joy from my heart, the dreams I once had, my self worth, and I listened to those deceiving lies for so long that I started to suffocate. I was drowning in a deep pool of lies I allowed myself to dip into. I kept this all to myself and prayed. A lot! But I couldn’t hear God and I couldn’t feel Him. It took a close, loving friend, to speak the truth to me and allow myself to cry and mourn over losses I thought were dealt with but had just filed in a temporary folder. God revealed His presence through my dear friend. I wouldn’t listen to Him so he spoke through a true friend. God was patient with me. He never left me. I just didn’t listen to His whole message. I jump started without fully listening. I love being home with my son and seeing more of my husband. I love volunteering and playing more than keeping my house spotless and planning healthy dinners every night. My world may be full of roles I have committed to but that doesn’t mean I am not committed to my dreams. I still want to write and paint and plan events and be the fun Mom. I realized that while I am good at planning and organizing and meeting deadlines, I am not so good at all that in my personal time. I need structure just as much as my son and my dog! If their schedules change, they get grumpy. Same for me! My dreams did not go as I assumed they would when my schedule suddenly freed up. Structure went out the window and my dream spirit flew right out with it! Lucky for me, God caught my dreams in the wind and held on for me until I listened to the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth!!
Alecia Simersky says
August 17, 2015 at 7:30 pmI’m right there with you. I need structure just like the rest of my family. I’ve always resisted working full-time outside of the home because I didn’t think there would be enough time or energy to work on my dreams. God’s been showing me this past year if it’s important to me then I will make time to work on them. I’m so glad you’ve been able to get into a rhythm and are reassured of your dreams even if they are taking longer than you thought!
Jenn says
August 17, 2015 at 7:42 pmAmen! So glad I can agree with you in this post…being content with the ssssllloooww process of GSD unfolding.
J.Stunkard says
August 17, 2015 at 10:24 pmJust…YES! Exactly.
Laura Rath says
August 23, 2015 at 12:07 pmMel, I can so relate to this. And when I think I’ve gotten used to the season I’m in, it starts to change again…and I feel kind of lost. Again. Maybe that’s part of the journey too.