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Trigger warning: deals with emotions regarding sexual abuse
Dear Jesus,
It’s become really clear that You didn’t make me to function within boxes. Since embracing the freedom and love that you lavish on me, thinking small and meeting the expectations of others have gradually fallen away, to be replaced with the question:
What if life looked different?
I used to be embarrassed at the way my mind worked and the way I processed information; the way I pondered things deeply and thought abstract thoughts.
Until I realized (or maybe You showed me) that You made me that way–for a reason: to break out of boxes and ask how life could be different if I dared to dream it could be.
Sometimes, this is exhilarating. Profound. Fulfilling.
Sometimes, it is simply gut-wrenchingly intense. (<====Click to tweet.)
You’ve given me a heart for those who’ve experienced abuse. It’s an issue that I keep circling around, trying to get a footing for what You’d have me do to bring Your light into this dark place.
On one level, I know You are gracing me with layer after layer of healing from my own childhood experiences of sexual abuse. Each layer peeled back is a layer of liberation, freeing me to become the person You made me to be, and I know that is one way of shining Your light.
How would life be different if I lived confident in the love and freedom You offer? (<====Click to tweet.)
On another level, I long to provide hope for healing for women who’ve experienced sexual abuse. I’ve lived through the anguish and tasted the freedom, and I long to invite others to that freedom too.
How would life be different if your daughters knew Your freedom?
On a third level, I am filled with anger about the rampant abuse experienced by children everywhere. I grieve for them. I am especially enraged by the adults in their lives who compound the trauma of abuse by prioritizing the needs of offenders above the needs of innocent children. The enemy takes advantage of this painful situation and decimates families. Far too often, the benefit of the doubt goes to perpetrators instead of ministering to the little ones. I can’t imagine this doesn’t grieve you, Lord.
There is a fire in my belly to urge people to believe the children in their lives instead of assuming their friend or loved one would never abuse. To consider the possibility that even a person who has done tremendous good in his or her life might still abuse a child. To stop behaving like the adults are the primary victims instead of the children. To stop exposing children to abusive adults.
How would life be different if we were brave enough to fight for our children, even when it feels impossible?
One yet another level, I have an understanding that I know You granted me, yet it is difficult to admit because it is incredibly unpopular. I know that You love each and every child of Yours. You died to redeem everyone who will receive You, including abusers. You love those who commit atrocities the same as you love me. You grieve their choices, I know…but You love them, and that is their true identity. They sin so grievously because they are searching for You and instead settling for all manner of counterfeits.
How would life be different if they knew You?
Lord, the person You made me to be thinks about all these things. A lot. They are difficult, intense things, and I often don’t know what You want me to do with them. Except maybe listen for Your voice and share what I hear.
Life can be different because You offer a different way.
When my dreams get intense, carry me, Lord. Surround me with Your grace, shine Your light on my path, and fill me with courage. Remind me that You are in control and that Your Presence changes everything.
I love You.
Love,
Me
***
What does intensity look like for your God-sized dream?
Shared By: Mandy Mianecki
Photo credit: Ishrona
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Amy Hunt says
This is a beautiful act of worship, Mandy. Yes, forgiveness and empathy for the abusers . . . yes, He loves even them. Mercy and grace is because of Him. Keep on letting Him work in you, dear friend.
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Mandy Mianecki says
I so appreciate your words, Amy! Thank you for reading and sharing this encouragement. I know you intensity!
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Kristin Hill Taylor says
I have chills. This is powerful stuff, Mandy. So proud of your for sharing your heart and letting us see Jesus in that. Love you.
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Mandy Mianecki says
Kristin, your words mean so much to me. Thank you! You know this part of my journey, and you know intensity yourself. Love you!
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betsydecruz says
Thank you for sharing your heart’s “layers” with us here, Mandy. This is such an important message, one that the church often overlooks because it’s so ugly and we prefer to gloss over it. Blessings, Healing, and Grace to you as you pursue your dream. May God use you greatly!
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Mandy Mianecki says
Thank you, Betsy! I appreciate your encouragement and kind words.
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