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Just over a year ago I applied to be a part of the “God-Sized Dream Team.” I knew who Holley Gerth was from her posts and (in)courage but I was “small-time.” I had a little blog about my family where every once in a while I was inspired to write posts about my faith walk. I was pretty sure I didn’t have much to offer, but I applied and then honestly forgot about it.
January 2013 came with an email that I had been accepted, a Facebook community was started, and we had the opportunity to get an early look at Holley’s book.
In the beginning, Holley asked us what our God-sized dreams were. To be honest I wanted to finally have a blog that “mattered.” I wanted tons of subscribers. I wanted to be accepted by a blog network like BlogHer so that I could make some income off this writing and maybe someday write a book.
Sure I wanted to create a place of community, but I believed if it wasn’t “big-time” then it probably didn’t matter. I wanted to matter! You see I was basing the importance of my story on whether or not I could get paid to do it.
If I have a book deal then maybe I would finally be important, right?
But God worked on my heart in the weeks and months that that team grew. Personally, I found myself transitioning into a full-time job working with my husband in his new business; one that keeps us both very busy. It’s a business that is growing in ways that only God could make possible.
A blessing for sure – but this wasn’t my dream! This new business, new job didn’t get me any closer to writing a book or creating that post that goes viral. I thought I knew what MY dream was?
And I started to realize that sometimes our dreams change.
Sometimes where God wants us and where we think we should be are two different things. (<==== Click to tweet.)
I started to recognize that growing this business with my husband was important to my marriage and my family and THAT is what should take priority in this season of my life.
I realized that taking time away from writing was necessary…and it was okay.
I still have dreams of creating a welcoming space of encouragement and hope on my blog. I believe that we need to share our stories because they are important. And I have found this incredible group of women online who are helping me find and love community.
I am embracing the new dreams that God has laid before me and setting aside the “all about me” dreams that I once had. (<==== Click to tweet.) As I’ve done so, God has opened doors at home and online that I hadn’t thought possible.
My God-sized dream may not look like I had initially imagined when I penned it out in 2013, but God has continued to show me so much more and I am grateful!
If you find yourself discouraged because your dream isn’t playing out like you had hoped, take heart! Maybe it is because He has something even more amazing in store for you. Are you willing to step out and follow His leading?
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Ashley Fields says
I’m not entirely sure what my dream for this particular season is to be totally honest. I have a dream to write a book but it has become rather obvious to me that becoming a published author is not for right now in this immediate season. I have a dream of getting married. Once again, that dream doesn’t seem to be for this immediate season. God has shaped and changed my sense of the timing on both of those dreams as He molds me and shapes me into the person He wants me to be because if I had it my way, I’d be earning royalties off my book and I’d have a ring on my left ring finger right now! 🙂 Thank you Lord that you are in control and not I! Maybe my dream for right now is much simpler. Maybe it is to positively impact others for Him, to be His light in a world where very little light exists, to be His light in a college major where a belief in the God of the Bible and not some “supernatural being out in space” is discounted by some and scoffed by others, to be His light to family members who are unwilling to see that the way of the world will only cause destruction….maybe that is my dream for now. To be His light to my little corner of the world no matter how dark and unforgiving it gets.
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Kristin Smith says
I love that you can see the beauty in the “simple”…but I would say that being a witness to those in school and your own family isn’t always simple is it?! 🙂 Christine often says God uses these times as a training ground. It won’t always be easy….but if we are faithful we will see blessings overflowing! Praying for you Ashley!!
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Ashley Fields says
Not hardly! It’s just a different kind of complicated than traversing the ins and outs, ups and downs of a marriage or trying to re-write the fifth set of edits a publisher returns to you because the manuscript still isn’t “just right” for their parameters.
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Kimberly Amici says
I was just talking to a dear friend about this this morning. I am learning to be grateful right where God has me… And reminding myself to be faithful in it, trusting that He has my best in mind. Thanks for the reminder.
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Kristin Smith says
Kimberly – yes that is what I am working towards also…it CAN be tough at times can’t it though?! 🙂 Grateful to be walking a similar journey along other dreamer friends! Blessings to you!!
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Sabra Penley says
Kristin, once again, you speak about what’s going on inside my heart. I still don’t know what God’s dream is, but I know it involves my husband and me working together in ministry. And that knowledge is exciting. I’m trying to be patient and faithful in today, knowing that will lead me right into the dream of tomorrow. I guess, actually, that means today is a part of that dream. Wow! God is so amazing! Thanks for sharing!
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Kristin Smith says
That IS exciting Sabra. Praying for you both as you move forward in ministry…especially that God would place a hedge of protection around you. Working with your spouse can be tough (I do the same) and the enemy wants nothing more to steal and destroy our joy…so as we step out even more in faith I have personally felt the attacks even more. But God is always with us and we just have to keep trusting in Him!! Blessings friend!
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Sabra Penley says
Thanks for your prayers, Kristin. I’m praying for you and your husband as well. I’ve worked beside my husband throughout our married life, first as a pastor’s wife and less so as a professor’s wife. This new stage–new dream–just gives us more time to be together. Almost losing him makes each day sweet. But I know the enemy is just hanging around waiting for an opportune moment to distract us, discourage us, destroy us. Putting on the full armor of God, being alert and always praying. So thankful God our Father is always watching over us and comes to our rescue over and over again!
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Katie Reid says
Love this! Thank you for sharing. Your posts here encourage me. Rejoicing in the dreams He has for each of us. I have this mindset too ” I believed if it wasn’t “big-time” then it probably didn’t matter”, but I know that I need to hold these dreams loosely so that God can steer them as He knows best.:) Thanks for the timely reminder.
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Kristin Smith says
Katie – you said it so well there “but I know that I need to hold these dreams loosely so that God can steer them as He knows best” – YES exactly!! Walking the same road with you! 🙂 Praying for you!
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Satin says
Um… have you be hiding on the walls of my heart, lately? This post is almost verbatim what I’m walking right now! I still have no idea how God is going to use me, or what doors He will open, but I’m THRILLED to be walking this journey & watching him move mountains to make our dreams come true (just bought our first home!). Thank you so much for sharing your journey & encouraging me in doing so. I’m finding great JOY in trusting God to do amazing things in my life & family… things greater than I could even imagine! ♥ Love & blessings to you! ♥
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Kristin Smith says
Satin – want to hear something crazy? I wrote this post months ago….months! And because of a last minute schedule change we posted it today when it wasn’t planned! I love that God uses things like this to send a message to specific people that He DOES have His hand in everything we are going through! Praise God for His perfect timing…I am blessed to be a small part! 🙂 Hugs to you!
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Lisa says
Kristin- I so appreciate your post today! I am in the place of questioning: did I hear You right, Lord? Did I take these steps in vain? Am I trying to “make this happen on my own”? I know He is with me in this season of aligning and re-aligning my perspectives on this dream I have with His perspectives. I am not alone, cast adrift to figure it out mid-current; how to get flowing in the direction He intends. Great reminders for me this day! Bless you!
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Kristin Smith says
Oh Lisa I am so glad this is the reminder you needed today!! Blessings to you and prayers as you continue to seek and follow God’s plan for you!
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Kristin says
Thank you Kristin. This is very timely. I have been having a lot of internal struggle lately and I am trying to make sense of it – my day job is extremely stressful and I find myself dreaming of other options – do I go back and get my Masters for Counseling? Is it better to become a certified life coach, or do I just need another paralegal job closer to home? I feel so pulled and stretched too thin in some areas – some important areas and I need to spend more quiet time with God to process and listen.
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Kristin Smith says
Kristin – I will be praying with you as you seek out what God’s plans are for you going forward!! It can be so hard to figure out what God wants us to do…praying for very clear open and closed doors!! Thanks so much for reading and encouraging me as well!
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Mel says
I love the honesty and real in your words here, friend…I’m watching God do some major rewriting to my own dreams. Just trying to breathe and trust that He’s got it…and to remember that there is Hope even when dreams change. Can’t wait to tell you more. Soon. Like, FOUR DAYS SOON! Love you, friend! 🙂
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Christine Wright says
OH, friend, I get this. I always appreciate your honesty – what a joy your words are! And praise God for His perfect timing!!
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Jessica C says
Hi Kristin,
It’s so funny I should be reading this post today. Like a year or so ago I was working on a dream: raising support to become a kindergarten missionary teacher to the Philippines. I worked with a veteran missionary to put together my presentation to show at churches to be able to tell about the ministry I planned to do alongside this veteran missionary and his wife. Several months even before this veteran missionary had come back to the States for health reasons, I honestly thought I had heard a call from God to “go to the Philippines and help” this missionary and his wife in their ministry. Well, I finally gave in and that summer this veteran missionary and I would get together to begin the process… to make a long story short I began setting up presentations at churches and talking about my ministry work I planned to do. God did amazing things and I was able to travel to places I’d only dreamed about visiting: the Oregon Coast, Disneyland, Southern CA, etc. About March of last year I started to sense an uneasiness, a restlessness in my spirit. I began to feel like God was pulling me in a different direction…years ago I’d heard God’s call to be a “missionary’s wife” but I’d said “no” and never really gave in to the call. Long story short this call came up again..on top of that I had visited a church where I knew a certain person was going to and I wanted to see if I could talk to him or if he would talk to me. I’d made the mistake of speaking too soon and essentially had alienated this person thru the words I’d written to him in the past. I’d tried apologizing to this person several years ago but I never received a response. Well turns out I did see this person when I visited his church this past year but I couldn’t get up the nerve to say anything. We ended up just a few feet away from each other. If he even saw me he didn’t acknowledge me or anything. I had thought God had shown me he was the one before but….yeah I ended up quitting my fundraising to be a single missionary to the Philippines. To this day I have NO idea whether I’ll ever be that “missionary wife” God called me to be all those years ago. I think it’s safe to say that I am content with the part-time job I currently have but I’m wondering whether God wants me to move back to CA permanently or not. My home church doesn’t fit me anymore. One good thing out of all of this is that my parents and I are closer but I’m in my thirties and I have aging parents…I guess if you could really pray for me, Kristin and or write a blog post for those of us who are wondering if we “heard God right” that would be so amazing. Forgive the long post please.
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Kristin Smith says
Jessica – never apologize for a “long” post! 🙂 I love hearing your story and will be praying for you. Praying that God would continue to reveal His plan for you and for your heart as well…praying that you would feel peace about where you are and for the willingness to do whatever He calls you to on His time! {{hugs to you}}
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