But you aren’t.
Have you been there?
Have you stood on the sidelines, secretly praying that your dreams would just happen already, and watching as it seems like everyone else around you is having their time?
It can hurt can’t it? At least it has for me.
I have struggled with jealousy for years. It started at a young age when a neighborhood friend always came to school in the newest Esprit and Guess fashions and I only had the knock-off brands.
It grew when I worked really hard to make the cheer leading team as a freshman and watched as my friends were chosen and I was not.
As a wife it worked its way out in the form of jealous comparison to others and their marriages. And as a mother, feeling as though my children didn’t sleep as well as, or potty train as quick as another mothers’.
In the online community, it can present itself in jealously over a viral blog post or the number of subscribers that someone else has.
However it may look for you, at some point we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others and when seeing our deficiencies, become jealous.
Jealously steals joy. (<==== Click to Tweet)
It robs us of our ability to see the good in our own lives and makes it nearly impossible to celebrate freely with another’s success.
This past October I had the opportunity to attend the Allume conference.
A blogging conference with 450 other dreamers. Women who are going somewhere, making an impact, fulfilling their dreams.
Knowing the tendency of my heart towards jealousy I was a little concerned about how I would react there. I was meeting some of my fellow God-Sized Dream team girls and many of these women, with God’s help, are experiencing huge open doors in their dream chasing.
I, on the other hand, am not really.
In fact, I don’t really know what my dream is or should be.
I used to think it was to write a book, or make money from my blog.
But it doesn’t feel like the right dream anymore.
So, where is my place in it all?
God changed my heart that weekend at Allume. He broke down the walls of jealousy and gave me a heart of joy for others. An honest heart of joy.
When I may have “faked” it before – I felt true happiness for others who were finding their dreams. I celebrated with them when their meeting with a book agent was successful. I had chills when I heard how God was moving in a mighty way, an impossible way, for a friend.
It was an amazing experience and one that I hope has changed me for good.
I found myself praying over them and encouraging them to remain brave, telling them how proud I was to be a part of their journey– if even on the sidelines.
Yes, everyone around me seemed to be moving forward faster than I am, but it is ok. I believe God has placed me where I am to be a cheerleader for others. While I didn’t make the team years ago in high school, God has a place for me on His team. (<==== Click to Tweet)
He has called me to dream big with others, to fight the battles in prayer and to cover them with support.
Maybe this is where God is calling you right now?
Maybe the reason your dream is at a standstill is because He needs to do some “heart work” in your life, like He has for me.
If you are stuck – start praying. Ask God to show you where He can best use you right now. Maybe your dream will be fulfilled down the road. He may even change your heart to an even better dream He has planned.
Stop comparing yourself to others and start celebrating the blessings you do have. In my experience it opened my eyes, and my heart, to learning to love others better.
And I have never been happier.
God has more room on His team, and this time the skirts aren’t too short. Will you join us?! (<==== Click to Tweet)
Shared by: Kristin Smith
Photo Credit: Beth Scupham
Kristin,
I know your heart firsthand, and yours is the gift of exhortation. You have encouraged me in prayer, with your words, in friendship. Thank you for reminding us that dreaming takes many forms, and that the Dream Giver loves them all.
In peace,
Chelle
Chelle – the feeling is mutual!! Love you girl! 🙂
Kristin, Thanks for this post. I loved the comment, “If you are stuck – start praying.” May God break down the walls that are keeping us stuck. God bless you.
How I need these reminders for myself too Elaine! 🙂 I write as much for myself and the things I need to remember as I do to encourage anyone else! 🙂
Bless your encouraging heart.
Thank you Denise!
This post is so convicting! Thank you for sharing your heart so openly. I’ve been blessed over and over by your love, support, and encouragement. I’m blessed to be in your tribe:)
Mandy your vox this morning was such a lift to my spirit! Thank you for taking time to encourage me!! 🙂
Wow, beautiful, brave, convicting words. So well said, Kristin. You’re such an encouragement to me and I’m proud of you for letting God reign in your heart.
Thank you for your encouragement to me friend!! You are a gift to me!
Thank you for your transparency. Your words ministered to me. You go girl!!! God Bless You
Thank you Carol!! Blessings right back at you! 🙂
I’ve been completely blind-sided by jealousy lately. As if I was untouchable in some way. I’m not. It’s a temptation to believe God is holding out on me (again). Thank you for helping me see jealousy for what it is. Jealousy robs me of joy. I’m getting my joy back today. God bless you.
Nichole, Oh how I know these feelings…praying with you and for you and so grateful you are here this morning! 🙂
Great post. How funny that the friend whose Facebook post led me to this post today is one of my friends who always seems to have everything together and be following her dreams. 🙂 So many of your statements here rang true in my head and heart today. Thank you.
So glad you were here today Becky!! God has a reason right?! 🙂 His words…His plans in my life make all of this possible!
Friend, you are a blessing…to so many, including me. I’ve felt really stuck lately, too…it’s a season that just looks different. Less chasing, more cheering. It’s hard not to compare…but I’m believing for both of us that His dreams are unfolding in ways we can’t even imagine. Love you, girl! 🙂 (((hugs)))
So sorry you are feeling “stuck” Mel…but I believe God has big plans for you and I can’t wait to watch it all unfold!
Such great encouragement, Kristin. I’m feeling a lot of uncertainty about what my God-sized Dream may be and I know I’m guilty of allowing jealousy to steal my joy. You’ve encouraged my heart so THANK YOU. Have a blessed weekend. Blessings.
Beth, I hear you. I’ve noticed I’m most vulnerable to it in those uncertain times, when I’m not sure what my dream is or where God is having me to go next. : ( Yuck.
I find myself stuck and wonder if I ever have a dream. For so long, I was afraid to dream, and then I’ve had a few come true and then I someone find myself in a pit of despair. I have also been jealous at the success of others and wonder what it is I have to do to be better. But in this season, I am just trying to learn to be with Him, in His presence, and allow Him to rebirth the dreams in my heart once again.
Yes…I can relate a little too well! What a relief it is though when we admit our jealousy. And then God uses that confession to purify our hearts, like He did yours. A beautiful story!
Thank you for your honesty! God has been working in my heart on just this subject for the past year. God prompted me, each time the jealous feelings would come, to pray blessings over that person. It so helped me and it’s a practice I continue. But what was so eye opening for me, is the root at the bottom of that envy-green branch: Why didn’t God pick me? Did He think I wasn’t acceptable? Lies from the enemy — once the lie was uncovered I could start to claim God’s truth — I am chosen, blessed, adopted, redeemed, and forgiven. I am totally acceptable because I am covered head-to-toe in Jesus Christ. I am the blessed child of the King — He did pick me and He more than accepted me — He died to have me. Uncovering those truths was soul rest for me. Again, thank you for your sweet transparency — it’s so wonderful to know we do not fight alone. Blessings to you.