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I planned to homeschool my four children through high school, and that’s what I told anyone who asked. Barring any unforeseen circumstances (think major debilitating illness or babies coming in quick succession), I’d press on right through twelfth grade.
I didn’t know how I was going to do it exactly, but I enjoyed support from both sides of the family. So, onward I schooled.
My educational philosophy evolved over the years. Eager with my first child, I jumped in with Baby Einstein videos, flashcards, and workbooks at the earliest sign of readiness. Academic excellence was a primary goal.
Over time, God changed my heart to see that my kids needed to know Him as their first priority. Then they could love and serve Him and go out to love and serve others. I shifted my focus to encouraging my children to develop a love for learning, for God, and for others.
In theory, that sounds all wonderful, doesn’t it? Freedom to plan, structure, and cater to my children’s gifts, strengths, and interests… Field trips, hands on learning, and all the faith-based learning I desired…
In my head, it seemed a lot like a God-sized dream.
Until baby four entered our mostly neat and tidy lives.
Before becoming pregnant with Anthony, I falsely thought that I had my act together. Beds were made, children were dressed on time, lesson plans were mostly completed, Pinterest-worthy enrichment activities were completed, and respectable dinners were served at the family table.
But Anthony was a game changer. I was so sick during my pregnancy that even drinking water made me nauseous. Lesson plans unraveled. Completing basic math and reading lessons constituted success.
Survival mode began. And stuck around. For years.
Following Anthony’s birth, I assumed I would need to take time to bounce back with schooling. Even if it was a minimal year and we just covered the basics, I would consider it a success.
But I didn’t bounce back that year. I discovered that my thyroid was out of whack, and entire mornings became struggles to function. If I just adjust something somewhere, I thought, we’ll make it through this rough patch.
With help from family, we did survive the school year, but summer nearly passed before I could bear the idea of planning the next school year.
What once was a dream became misery.
Sufficient structure felt out of reach. Lessons were overwhelming. Learning differences among my children crushed me. A non-stop toddler drained the little energy I had left.
But I pressed on. If I can only pinpoint the source of our stresses was my refrain, convinced I could discipline myself enough, pray enough, or structure things enough to make it work.
Chaos reigned. Try as I might, as much as I willed it, little was working. Meltdowns and bad days outnumbered good ones. Relationships were crumbling.
Some wisdom from Holley’s You’re Already Amazing and You’re Made for a God-sized Dream began to press in to my heart. She stressed that God’s plans for us are related to the gifts, strengths, and interests He’s planted in us. He doesn’t call us to things that He knows will make us miserable.
By Thanksgiving 2013, I knew I would not be able to survive the year homeschooling. With a 6th grader, a 4th grader, a 1st grader, and a 3 year old monkey-son, I decided on a radical (for us) change.
A miracle of God’s grace in my heart gave me peace about sending my middle two kids to a local public school.
I don’t know if it’s a permanent path.
What I know is that peace is slowly returning to our home, and my kids are thriving again. I know I have peace about sending my 6th grader to the middle school next year. I know the thought of just having one child at home next year, after 8 years of homeschooling, floods me with an overwhelming sense of freedom.
And the ability to breathe again.
I have big dreams tucked away inside for what those new-found hours of freedom might hold for all of us. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to say that I can’t wait to see what our next school year brings.
Sometimes, God asks us to lay our dreams down. We may not understand why at the time, but we can trust that His ways and timing are perfect. (<== Tweet that.)
It’s easy and natural to think that our dreams are about us, but as we jump into them, we quickly see differently: our dreams are about reaching others and glorifying God. (<==Tweet that.)
When laying our dreams down accomplishes that, then it is the very best thing we can do.
Shared by: Mandy Mianecki
Photo credit: stevendepolo
________________________
This week we’re writing about when God calls us to lay our dreams down.
Is there something God is calling you to release? A dream you’ve already laid down?
Share your story on your blog and link up with other God-sized dreamers below.
{For those who don’t have a blog, we invite you to share in the comments or on Facebook.}
Let’s all display the link up photo so we can find each other! Click here for link.
For next week, we’re asking, “How do you know if this dream is from God?”
We’ll meet back here next Tuesday, and share our posts and comments.
{Prompts are from Chapters 10 and 11 of Holley’s devotional, Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream.}
Alecia says
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Great post Mandy! We all need the reminder that sometimes we need to let certain dreams go. But it can be so hard.
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Mandy says
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Thanks, Alecia! It IS so hard, I think because we don’t know what lies ahead. I find it easy to assume that what I have must be better than what might be ahead. I would say that when God asks us to lay something down, it is usually because what He really has for us is even better.
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Kristin Waters says
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Hi Mandy,
Everything I read lately is about releasing control and giving it over to God. That is actually my personal Lenten goal and word of 2014 (RELEASE). Through prayer and physically writing my worries, anxieties, resentments, frustrations, hopes, gratitude lists and God-Sized Dreams, I am laying them at His feet. What a process for me, personally. But it is slowly sinking in how powerful and how necessary it is. Thank you so much for your words today. They are very encouraging to me as the mom of a spirited kiddo and a crazy life journey.
With a grateful heart,
Kristin
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Mandy says
March 11, 2014 at 11:35 amDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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That is a bold, brave, and beautiful goal, Kristin. I’m so glad you shared it. I pray that you find joy and blessings replacing those things that you’re releasing. Please come back and let us know how it goes!
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Kristin Waters says
March 12, 2014 at 1:13 pmDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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Thank you for your encouraging words ♡ Will do!
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Satin says
March 11, 2014 at 11:14 amDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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Absolutely beautiful post, Mandy! Thank you for sharing today! ♥
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Mandy says
March 11, 2014 at 11:35 amDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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Thank you for reading and your kind words, Satin!
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Valerie Sisco says
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Mandy,
I love how you followed God’s leading even though it was difficult for you to change course in schooling your children. Thank you for this reminder to trust God’s timing!
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Mandy says
March 11, 2014 at 9:24 pmDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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Thank you, Valerie! It can take awhile before I pick up on where God’s leading me. I’m so grateful for the grace He offers when I need a good shove!
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Kristin Smith says
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Oh I LOVED this post Mandy! Thank you for teaching me through your experiences!!
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Mandy says
March 11, 2014 at 9:25 pmDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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Thanks, Kristin! The feeling is mutual, my friend!
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Mel says
March 11, 2014 at 12:43 pmDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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Oh, girl. Can I confess something? I’m in the middle of laying down one of my biggest dreams…and at times, it feels like it’s killing me. But I know this season…where I am, and what my limits are…and I just have to let go. These words? Sooooooo what I need today. That deep breath and reminder that it’s going to be ok, even if I have to let go for a season and trust His timing. Love this. 🙂 Blessings and hugs!
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Mandy says
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You are brave, my friend, and I am so proud of you! If He’s asking you to lay it down, then He had something good planned for you. I’m so glad to have a spot on the sidelines to watch Him do it!
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Laura Rath says
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“He doesn’t call us to things that He knows will make us miserable.” – Amen! Although, it’s often really hard to recognize and admit that we’re not happy, even when we thought God led us to it. Great post!
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Mandy says
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You are so right, Laura. It’s hard to admit we’re not happy. It took me about 3 years too long to make me big change! Thanks for reading and for your kind words.
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Janet says
March 11, 2014 at 5:36 pmDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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I didn’t get a post written on this subject, but I enjoyed reading this post. Sometimes God uses circumstances in our life to push us to let go of our own plans, in order to follow His plans. That sounds like what you are doing, Mandy.
For me, it was illness that moved me to give up a ministry of music, and switch to a ministry of prayer. As much as I enjoyed working with kids through church music, the prayer ministry brought me to a deeper relationship with God. God knows where He wants to take you, Mandy. God is blessing you, today.
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Mandy says
March 11, 2014 at 9:31 pmDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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Thank you for sharing your story, Janet! I’m so glad you did. Prayer ministry is so powerful and important, and they are blessed to have you in that capacity. I appreciate your encouraging words!
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Laurie Wallin (@mylivingpower) says
March 11, 2014 at 7:39 pmDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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What dream is He calling me to lay down? The dream that launching a book will be a fun, running through the open sunshine fields experience! 🙂 It’s chaos. Joy-filled, delightful, laugh-at-myself-when-I-forget-25-things-a-day (except when I’m crying about it… which I try not to) experience. It’s like fitting the sun in a teacup. Stuff spilling out everywhere and only God can possibly have a handle on where it’s going. Whew. So good to know!
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Mandy says
March 11, 2014 at 9:33 pmDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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Wow! That IS so good to know! I’m glad to have that insight from a trailblazer like you, should I ever be in your position. I pray you are blessed abundantly in that chaos–I know your readers will be. So proud of you for chasing–and laying down–your dreams!
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Kristin Taylor says
March 11, 2014 at 9:49 pmDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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I love this. I read it this morning and I’ve thought about it throughout the day. So often letting go is realizing my timing isn’t God’s timing. On that note, I’m linking up a post I wrote at the beginning of the year because it’s right on this topic. I appreciate your words here so much, Mandy!
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Mandy says
March 12, 2014 at 9:54 amDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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That is such a good point about time, Kristin. Homeschooling was good and right for a time, and then God was calling me to change things up. Usually it is the opposite though: I want things faster! Thanks for reading and linking up!
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Gindi says
March 11, 2014 at 11:52 pmDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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Oh this is so powerful Mandy and such a testimony in learning that it’s about His hand guiding us and trusting that it looks different – love you and what you are doing friend.
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Mandy says
March 12, 2014 at 9:57 amDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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Thank you so much for your encouragement, Gindi! I keep learning how His ways are not my ways! –And thank goodness for that!
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Rosanne says
March 12, 2014 at 11:07 amDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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For me, laying down my dreams meant laying down my expectation of what success looks like. I had to get to the point where obedience was my priority not the outcome – which I can’t control anyway. So many times, what SEEMS like the right option, isn’t according to God’s plan. Other times, I want to shun what looks easy and enjoyable because I’m thinking, Surely the easy path isn’t the right one (not sure where I got the idea that in order to follow God’s lead I shouldn’t enjoy it). I just have to be obedient. God will take care of the outcome. That’s hard because even though I don’t consider myself a control freak, I still like to have my hands at least on the wheel. 🙂 Thanks for sharing Mandy! Great testimony! 🙂
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Mandy says
March 13, 2014 at 8:09 pmDeprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/godsized/public_html/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 4826
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Such good points, Rosanne! I agree-I often think that what God has for me is going to be hard. I too want to control outcomes. I mean, shouldn’t it be the way I picture it in my head? 😉
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