What do I love?
This question has been floating around in my head the past few weeks. And then I read a post by Lisa Jo Baker titled, If You Are What You Love, What Are You?. In her post she wrote, “For me, my love is always in tension. My love of self in tension with my love of the Gospel and my desperate love to live up to the gifting God has entrusted me with.”
I look within to search for what it is I put first and value most. What would those closest to me say that I value? Would it be that I love my alone time way too much? My phone or computer? Or, what about the book that I can’t put down, and when my daughter beckons me to come help her with a project for the umpteenth time, I keep impatiently replying, “One second, let me get to the end of the chapter!”
What do I love? Really?
I love God and the idea of being radically different. But then when I’m misunderstood, I realize I love people-pleasing more. Being different means I will be misunderstood because that is what being a Jesus follower is all about.
Oh, yeah. What I really love is the acceptance and approval of man, not God.
The Bible says to expect and welcome hard times, so I declare, “Bring on the rain! I’ve got the faith to handle what comes my way!” But then the downpour comes, and I cry and question, Where are you God?
I see very clearly how much my heart loves comfort and ease.
I received warning early in my spiritual journey that following Jesus doesn’t mean life will be easy. Jesus wasn’t kidding when He said in John 16:33, “In this world you will have trouble…”
Lately I have felt like a walking target for the enemy. I duck and swerve his fiery darts, but more hit than miss.
If I don’t want the battles that come with kingdom living…the set-apartness that comes with living a life of difference…then I should walk away from God.
But I can’t.
There’s something about Him that keeps me near and draws me in to see the beauty among the pain. Comfort and ease are not a part of our lives this side of Heaven.
At the beginning of the year when everyone was declaring their word of the year on the Internet, I quietly chose the word, surrender. I will choose to actively surrender my plans, dreams, marriage, children. God has shown me I don’t trust Him as much as I say I do or want to. I white-knuckle my plans, my dreams, afraid to truly let go…because what if I don’t like what God does with them? Pride keeps me hanging on, just in case God gets it wrong. And people-pleasing keeps me from boldly living out my faith in ways that I know will cause people to take notice.
People-pleasers are not God-pleasers.
In Deuteronomy 11:8 we read God’s command to his people: “So it’s you who are in charge of keeping the entire commandment that I command you today so that you’ll have the strength to invade and possess the land that you are crossing the river to make your own. Your obedience will give you a long life on the soil that God promised to give your ancestors and their children, a land flowing with milk and honey.”
God walks with us through the journey, and our promised land is on the other side of our pride and fear, if only we will surrender and love Him more than our plans. If you continue reading the verses in Deuteronomy, God charges us to love Him and serve Him and when we do this, He promises to provide what we need when we need it. What a sweet promise to hold on to.
So…I ask you the same question I’ve been asking myself, What do you love?
Shared by: Alecia Simersky