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A fledgling adult in a middle-school lunchroom…
Is there anywhere a soul feels more vulnerable? I’ve yet to find it.
I still have nightmares about that place. I was never the one who had their sandwich, fruit, and juice packed neatly alongside a smiley-face sticky note by their mother. Nope, I had to brave the lunch line with the rest of the un-cool kids. And then after leaving the line…I had to find somewhere to sit.
All the stares. All the insecurities. All the drama. Every day.
The sad part is, I never outgrow these feelings. Put me in a big room with lots of people today and every ounce of teenage fear saddles up to this grown woman. I have birthed two babies and helped corral 1,800 pound cows down the chute to get them dewormed and dehorned…all of which I can handle. But don’t make me walk into a room full of eyes that have the potential of sizing me up for all that I’m not, and making me feel five feet shorter than I am.
Where does the insecurity in this scenario find its root?
In my fear of not fitting in.
My fear of not belonging.
My fear of not being important enough
My fear of just not being enough.
All the while, I’m scanning the crowd and sizing up every other person I see and wanting to be just like her.
She has the boots I just pinned on my “Me” board.
She has the hair I’ve been trying to achieve through three mishaps of home color and hundreds of dollars to fix at the salon…and I’m still not there.
She has the blog with 100,000,000 followers and the book contract signed last week.
She has it all. I have nothing.
Lie after lie after lie.
Sounds extreme…and it is. But it’s my extremely warped reality at times. And I’m tired of it. I’m tired of feeling like there’s no room at the table for me and I’m glad God is finally starting to show me how much of a lie this is. Because sisters, it is a lie straight from hell.
These words from Christ pour truth into the lies I’ve been believing…
”and I assign to you, as my Father assigned to me, a kingdom, that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.”- Luke 22:29-30
Jesus came as a servant. The King of Kings lowered Himself not only to be as the people He came to save, but to serve them…He’s assigned you and me as servants too and He has a reward for our service, just as He did for His disciples.
These dreams He is giving us to chase and fulfill require us to take OUR seat at HIS table. (<====Click to Tweet)
If we aren’t sitting in the seat He has assigned, we will miss out on the assignment He has just for us.
But don’t miss this…we are not at the table alone! We are never alone and our dreams aren’t meant to be fulfilled alone. We have the privilege of sitting amongst other sisters and brothers chasing and fulfilling their very own God-sized Dreams, at their very own seat, at the very same table. If that doesn’t get you excited, then I don’t have anything else for you today.
Friends…we have an assignment from GOD ALMIGHTY and a seat at HIS table TOGETHER. (<====Click to Tweet)
Yes, we are all different. Praise God He has given us each our own dreams to chase and fulfill for His glory in our own way…and Praise God we get to chase the dreams and serve Him and one another together.
And our reward? Adding seats to the table all the while with new dream-chasers that we draw near along the way.
Y’all, this is good stuff.
This is good, God-sized Dream stuff that is worth leaning into Him and one another for. This is worth pulling up our seat, eating from His bread of truth and drinking from His cup of salvation as one big team of Freedom-Fighting-Dream-Chasing sisters.
As we find our place and sit down to serve, He will fill our plate so full it will overflow. We have nothing else to do but share from His goodness.
Now, let’s pull up our seats at His table and get to it together. Are you in?
Shared By: Meredith Bernard
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Robin O. Jenks says
You are so open, honest and say what most of us feel! Thanx for sharing such encouraging and inspiring words ~ God’s Words ~
Love you!
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Meredith Bernard says
Oh, Robin, I’m so excited to see you here! It means the world to me. <3 Love you and so thankful for you. xo
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Abby says
Meredith, I NEEDED this today. I’m pulling up a seat at the table and holding hands with you. I am ready to denounce these lies and stand firm in the truth. Thank you for giving a drink to parched souls today. You are beautiful. xoxo
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Meredith Bernard says
I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be sitting at His table with, Abby. <3 Love you and the way you pour out so selflessly into so many lives. You are a blessing to me. xoxo
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Sabra Penley says
Yep, we all need to hear this–every day! Funny how no matter what generation we’re a part of those middle-school lunchroom insecurities linger on and we can so quickly feel like we’re the awkward 12 year old all over again. Thanks for this truth poured into my soul today, sweet friend! Your words are like a cold drink on a draining hot day.
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Meredith Bernard says
And your encouragement constantly fills me back up, Sabra! Yes, it’s funny how these insecurities linger on into womanhood…glad we can be real and meet them head on together. Love you, friend. xo
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Alecia Simersky says
A word for us all. The enemy would love for us to believe the lies he feeds us daily. It’s so important to stop them in their tracks and choose truth instead. Honored to be seated next to you at God’s table, where there really is room for us all!
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Meredith Bernard says
Yes, Alecia…in the words of my pastor, “I hate Satan’s guts.” And I do. But I’m so glad we have God’s truth to counteract His lies…and we can do it seated together, holding one another accountable and lifting each other with encouragement. So glad to be here with you, friend! xo
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Tiffany Parry says
Spirit filled words, my friend – so needed and pointed in the right direction. You’ve got my wheels spinning on this idea that we have an open invitation to His table, but WE HAVE TO take our seat. How often have I wanted someone else’s spot or just stood at a distance questioning my own, wondering if it was the right place for me. So glad that He not only has that unique assignment for us, but then fills the table with others to walk beside us. It’s just so gracious and so loving, I can hardly stand it. Loved your words here and that your sweet heart was knit into every single line. xo
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Meredith Bernard says
Yes, He’s so gracious and so loving, isn’t He, Tiffany?! I can hardly stand it, either. 😉 Nor can I hardly stand how sweet you are. <3 Thank for reading and encouraging me in this walk…and at His table today. xo
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Ashley says
This really hits home for me. I struggle with feeling left out, insecure and lonely quite often. Being in a crowd of people and feeling like no one knows me or even cares to know me is so hard. It seems to hit me the most during church functions. I look around at all these people who seem happy and laughing with their friends yet here I am sitting there alone and no one sees. I don’t say that for sympathy but just to say that sometimes it can be difficult to hold to the truth that you aren’t alone and that someone does care when you don’t have any real tangible close friends to model that to you. I’ve had close friends in the past but we have drifted apart so I find myself in this season of loneliness. I desperately want close friends again but Satan’s lies that I won’t fit in with that group or I am not like them so they won’t accept me have been deafening. The biggest obstacle for me is that I can’t identify with most women my age because I’m not a part of the mommy club. However, I have been learning that this season does not have to be wasted. I know God is using it to refine me and teach me how to truly trust in him instead of other people…though to be honest moving from what I “know” to actually believing it with my heart and soul has also been a major area of struggle for me. I want my takeaway from this to be that I never have to feel left out at His table and I need to remember to sit there more often. Thank you for your encouraging words!
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Meredith Bernard says
Oh, Ashley, I hear your heart cry here. I have been that woman at church functions (not so long ago)…in a new place, where everyone else was either related or had been friends forever (so it seemed.) I’ve since realized how many others feel the same way and by letting my guard down even a little bit has allowed for new and fruitful friendships that I may have missed otherwise. And you are so right, this time in your life certainly DOES NOT have to be wasted. God has plans for it for sure! He knows them, He’s made them and He’s made a way for you to find your way through them in all joy. Yes, friend, He does have a place for you at His table. Seek Him First…He will show you where and how and I dare say He will bring people to sit with you that you never imagined. Speaking from experience. There was a time I thought I would NEVER have friends my own age, in my own stage of life because of life choices I’d made. But He’s proved me wrong. Over and over and over again in just a few short years. Because He loves us that much. He loves YOU that much. Stay strong and lean into Him. He will never let you down. So glad you were here today. xo
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Ashley says
Thank you so much for your reply!! I am reading it through tears but with a little more hope in my heart knowing that I don’t have to stay stuck here forever.
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Meredith Bernard says
No, not forever, Ashley! Not even one more minute sweet girl! <3 {{hugs}}
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betsydecruz says
Oh Meredith, I’m in! There’s always room at the table for new team members on our “one big team of Freedom-Fighting-Dream-Chasing sisters.”
Oh boy, can I relate to what you describe about feeling insecure in a big group where you don’t know that many people. Good thing that at God’s table, we all have a special seat reserved just for us! Great to see you here today!
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Meredith Bernard says
Great to have you here encouraging me, Betsy. And you are one sweet soul I’m glad to be seated beside. Love you so! xo
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Kristin Hill Taylor says
One of my very favorite words is GATHER. It’s what I kept hearing when I read your post. God does want us to gather together and leave our insecurities at the door. Such encouragement here, Meredith. So grateful you’re part of this GSD writing team. xoxo
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Meredith Bernard says
That is a beautiful word, Kristin. <3 There is such peace and security of the thought of gathering at His table together with Him. I'm so glad to be here, too! <3 xo
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KatieReid says
Great post friend. I’m glad you are in your seat. Such a good reminder and so freeing, thank you!
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Meredith Bernard says
Thank you, Katie. Glad to be here with you. <3
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Deanna says
I am forever behind and this post is no exception to that. I could have written the top part of it myself. I never feel like I belong especially in large groups of people. I’ll take my seat at that table and I am glad that you are there beside me.
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