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When I was in the 6th grade we had an assignment to read a book and then write a report from the perspective of one of the characters in the story. For the life of me I can’t remember what book it is I read, but I think it had something to do with a young girl and her brother that was kidnapped and the effect it had on their family.
I wrote from the perspective of the sister and how her family was changed because of her brother’s disappearance. For some reason my teacher asked me to record my speech. I had to dress up in character, memorize my report and then I went down to this local Owl TV station and was videoed sharing my report.
It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.
Around that same time my mom started bringing me to the Christian Women’s Club breakfasts. We would dress up all fancy, go to the country club and eat a fun meal and hear a woman share her testimony of faith. These meetings were very influential in building my faith but they also placed in me a desire to do the same.
I wanted to be that woman, the one with a story to tell. The one who shared why her faith in Jesus made things better. I dreamed of standing behind a podium, making a difference.
When I was in college my mom and I started attending Women of Faith conferences. The first time I went I felt this stirring again. I wanted to be on that stage, ministering to women. But that was ridiculous! I was a nobody, I didn’t write books, I didn’t have a major life tragedy…God wasn’t calling me to something as big as that.
So I never shared that dream with anyone.
The funny thing about dreams is that sometimes they get lost, or stuffed way down inside of us. (<=== Click to tweet) Because the world tells us we aren’t good enough, fear sets in and we can’t see our strengths and the dream slowly dies.
And then last week my dear friend and dreamer Christine wrote this post about finally speaking her God Sized Dream. I had chills the moment I started reading it.
She was speaking the words I hadn’t had courage to speak, because they are crazy, unrealistic dreams. Dreams that are impossible for a girl like me.
But yet there they were and they didn’t seem so crazy for her. And maybe, just maybe they aren’t too crazy for me either.
So today I am standing at the podium.
After a year of chasing and discovering what God-sized dreams are I am finally sharing the rest of my dream. The scary, wildly unlikely, impossible dream.
My God-sized Dream is to speak at a conference for women. To breathe life into women who are trying to manage it all and feel like they are failing. Women who want to make a difference but feel like they aren’t worthy enough or perfect enough to be used by God. Women who are too scared to chase their dreams because they seem impossible.
I am that woman. I have all those feelings and more.
But I have seen so many times over how God takes the impossible and makes it possible. (<=== Click to tweet) And I believe there is hope, for each of us. We just need someone who will speak the words of truth.
And I, I am the most unlikely of servants. I am a hot-mess most days.
I fail with my family, I disrespect my husband, I am lazy and don’t study God’s Word like I should. I am no Bible scholar and I wonder how God could use someone as broken as me to bring hope?
I don’t know….I do know that anything is possible with God’s help. And if it is His will that I speak – then I am right now declaring my full willingness to be ready if He calls.
And now I am going to take my knocking knees off the “stage” and probably go throw up. (Just keeping it real here friends)
Why is it a struggle to name our dreams?
Because everything in the world tells us we can’t. But with God…well I am doing my best to listen for His voice because that is the only Truth I can hold onto in this life!
Do you have a dream that you haven’t been able to name? This is a safe space and I’d love to hear it and pray for you!!
Photo Credit: Andy Nguyen
___________________________
This week, we ask, “Have you struggled to give words to your dream?”
Share your story on your blog and link up with other God-sized dreamers below.
{For those who don’t have a blog, we invite you to share in the comments or on Facebook.}
Let’s all display the link up photo so we can find each other! (Click here for link)
We’ll link up again every Tuesday as we write about our dreams.
Our weekly prompts are taken from Holley’s Devotional, Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream.
What if you don’t know your God-sized dream?
Next week we’ll link up our answers to these helpful questions:
“Take a few minutes to think back over your life and the desires of your heart – even as a child.
What did you really love? What did you feel most excited about?
Hidden within your answers may be the seed of a God-sized dream.”
Holley Gerth, Opening the Door to Your God-Sized Dream
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Delonna Gibbs says
Did you hear me scream WITH JOY when you named your dream? Even the hollowing winds and freezing temperature couldn’t stop my heart from jumping for joy that you spoke those brave words. I can still remember when you read your post at Allume. You spoke from the heart and made me almost cry. You were genuine and will be an amazing speaker that women are going to be drawn too. Wherever you speak I will be there to cheer you on and hold your hair back when you puke afterwards – LOL. I’m so very proud of you. Thank you for uttering the dream that has been hidden in your heart.
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Kristin Smith says
Delonna – you are one of the big reasons I can even speak the words to begin with. What an encouragement you have been to me this past year. And I have watched you do that very thing, step out in faith and see the fruits of your hard work. I am so very proud of you and grateful that I have you in my “tribe” so we can journey together in this scary faith walk!! 🙂
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Laurie Wallin (@mylivingpower) says
Yes, sweet dreamer, you’re well on your way. Just reading Delonna’s comment reveals it. Praying for God’s sweet reassurance and continued direction as you follow that dream!
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Kristin Smith says
Heartfelt thanks Laurie – really!! I have seen how you have stepped out in faith in your own walk and God is doing great things with you. It is a great encouragement to me when my knees are knocking!! 🙂
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Chelle Wilson says
Kristin,
I know you live your faith. I just tweeted, “…I have seen so many times over how God takes the impossible and makes it possible. ” I know this is true because you made me see it. Thank you for braving your fears to name your dream. Youve made it possible for others to do the same.
Peace and good to you, sweet BRAVE sister dreamer. You have my prayers, my respect, and my love.
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Kristin Smith says
Oh Chelle what an encouragement you are to me!! I am so grateful to have known you this past year, to see your faith in action and be able to be brave because of it!!
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Crystal says
Love Love Love! So it sounds like we need to start at God Sized Dreams conference so we can take that stage by storm & bring a Word, eh? You, my friend, are only at the beginning of this amazing dream journey – I feel like I’m sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting to see what doors God opens for each of you in this space!
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Mel says
Um, a God-Sized Dreams conference? Yes, please!!! 🙂
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Alecia says
What a great idea, Crystal!!
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Kristin Taylor says
Um, hello, a GSD conference?! Yes, please!
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Kristin Smith says
A GSD conference is something that has been on our hearts for some time!! Scary and wild dreams, but exciting too! I think so many people stop dreaming and wouldn’t it be amazing to see that fire reignited in women across the country and for God’s glory?! Wow!
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Christine Wright says
Well, fancy that! *wink*
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Mandy says
Totally loving this thread! Yeses all around!
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Mel says
LOVE this! Oh, girl…yes. I can’t wait to see what He does with your dreams! (And I’ll be sitting in the front row cheering you on!) 🙂
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Kristin Smith says
Oh Mel thank you!! You are such a sweet support to me and I am so grateful to get to spend life with you!!
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Alecia says
“Women who want to make a difference but feel like they aren’t worthy enough or perfect enough to be used by God.” <—-this right here is what has been holding me back. Your post has spoken to my heart so perfectly this morning. I can definitely see you up on that podium encouraging others because I KNOW first hand what an encouragement you have been in my life. You bless, friend, you truly do!!
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Kristin Smith says
Oh thank you Alecia. Why is it that we let lies about never being good enough keep us from believing that God can use us?! A lesson He will have to continue to teach me I am sure! Thank you for being such an encouragement to me too!
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Valerie Sisco says
Kristin,
I love your story! I also love what you said about God taking the impossible and making it possible — that’s what we all need to believe to keep our dreams moving forward — thanks for sharing your heart and your words!
Valerie
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Kristin Smith says
Thank you Valerie -so blessed that you are here with us. I have seen God take the impossible and make it better than I could have imagined and I believe He desires that for each of us!
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Mandy says
YEAH, Kristin!!! Girl, I am so proud of you! Tearing up with joy to cheer you on in your dream.
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Kristin Smith says
Thank you for your encouragement Mandy!! You have gone ahead and been brave before me…it is because of people like you that I have the courage to stand today! 🙂
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Jen Wagenmaker says
Kristen – I have the same dream. I am the founder of a women’s conference and my dream is to have our conference be launched all over the world. I would love to talk with you! I believe in your dream. I used to attend women’s retreats with my mother for years. Every year, I would lean over and whisper into her ear “I wish I could speak”. I quit my job a few years ago to walk out that dream in my heart. What a journey it has been. I love this site!
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Christine Wright says
Go, beautiful dreamer, go! 🙂 God called and you’re answering!!
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Kristin Smith says
I love this Joanne – you are actually doing it! So amazing!! Will be watching how God uses your voice to minister to other women!
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Joanne Viola says
Kristin – I read your beautiful words in this post, looked at your head shot & thought, “I would so love to listen to her speak at a conference!”. I may as well join the knee knocking & throwing up …. this past year, I took the plunge & left my first comments on the blog posts of others. That took such courage on my part. You have no idea. The thought that always entered my head was why would anyone want to read my comments? In taking that plunge, I have found such joy in finding community. So to put a voice to my dream for this year… I want to write more. Not sure what that means exactly, except that I so desire to grow & reach others with my words. I have now verbalized it & am heading for the porcelain throne. May God fulfill your desires beyond all you can even imagine, Kristin!
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Christine Wright says
Joanne!! Hugging you!! That same voice plagued me too…for too long. Let’s kick it to the curb! I’m so proud of you for speaking your dream, friend!! I’ve found my biggest dreams were actually hiding behind my greatest fears (to sort-of quote Mark Batterson) and it sounds like yours might be too! Volunteering to hold your hair back, like Delonna did for Kristin in the comment above!!
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Kristin Smith says
Joanne – I am so glad that you have found the gift of community! That was my most precious gift of 2013. Finding women who cheered me on and encouraged me gave me the strength to dream big!! So glad you are here and look forward to reading more of your comments- your voice matters!! If God has planted a dream of writing in your heart – jump in and get started!! We are cheering you on!
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Jenn Hand says
Kristin jumping up and down with joy and excitement for you!! wow.. glory I am so proud of you. One of the most powerful words I read in your post: So Today I am standing at the podium. Wow. That just sent God holy bumps all over me. So blessed and proud to be in your “audience” as you stand at the podium. I am so so proud of you!
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Kristin Smith says
Oh Jenn – you are a brave girl already walking the road…so blessed to know you and am so encouraged by you!
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Lisa Larson says
Kristin, I know how much courage it took to write what you did today, and I am SO proud of you, girl! And, oh yes to what Crystal said, “So it sounds like we need to start at God Sized Dreams conference so we can take that stage by storm & bring a Word, eh?” Public speaking is not my thing, so I’m SO happy it’s yours! Cheering you on every step of the way!! What an example you are to the rest of us!
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Kristin Smith says
Lisa – that is just it…public speaking isn’t really my thing either. It scares me to death!! 🙂 But it is something I feel like for some reason, at some point…I HAVE to do! God will give me the words right?! You too have a God-given gift my friend and I think very soon we will see how much He has planned in that area for you! 😉
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Lisa Larson says
Oh my friend, I fully believe God will give you the words, and like you said, “I do know that anything is possible with God’s help. And if it is His will that I speak – then I am right now declaring my full willingness to be ready if He calls.” I love your bravery and your heart to step beyond what terrifies you 🙂
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Satin says
You go girl! What a gift you have of speaking from the heart! Congratulations on taking that first step… each one will get easier (so I’m told!) 🙂 I’m with you on your journey! Blessings ♥
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Kristin Smith says
Oh boy we can only hope right?! 🙂 Thanks so much for your encouragement!
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Deb Weaver says
Oh, Kristin. I relate to your dream and your fear here! I was at a conference where Patsy Clairmont spoke in the late 80’s when I felt that whisper of the Spirit plant a seed. In 1990, our pastor encouraged us to pray about and write down purposes (who we wanted to be) and goals (what we wanted to do). Three of the goals/dreams I wrote were: to encourage others and intensely teach from the Word, related materials, and my personal experiences with the sole aim of furthering and strengthening the Kingdom of God; to write quality books that will be an encouragement to fellow believers; and to write fictional children’s books that highlight warm relationships, imagination, and a love of language. That was in 1990. Over the years, I buried those dreams. At Allume 2013, these dream seedlings (long thought dead) began to vibrate. I cupping them with shaky hands and prayerful heart.
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Kristin Smith says
Deb I am so excited that your dreams were spurred at Allume – I felt the same way!! I will be praying with you and for you as step out in faith and seek His perfect plan!
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Olivia says
“Women who want to make a difference but feel like they aren’t worthy enough or perfect enough to be used by God.” Kristin, I think you’re reading my mind. Oh, there are days (most days) when I feel so unworthy, so not enough, and definitely not perfect enough to used by God, or anyone else for that matter. This God-sized Dream thing has me terrified one moment and elated the next. I want to make a difference, whether it’s at home or school or on “the stage” with the retreat I want to host/plan. Encouragement–thank you for the encouragement you’re giving.
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Kristin Smith says
Olivia, let’s stand together and make a stand to stop listening to the lies that we aren’t enough but claim the promise that through God – we are enough!! Hugs to you!!
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Amber Lia says
Good for you, Kristin! Thank you for being vulnerable and brave! Excited to see how you step into the faith that God plants desires on our hearts for a purpose. He knows the hairs on your head-every detail of your coming and going. He won’t leave you hanging, so hold on tight! XO
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Kristin Smith says
Thank you so much Amber for your encouragement!! I am blessed to know you!!
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Janet from FL says
I really like the picture you all are using for the link ups. It represents what we all are saying that our dreams are scary, and we think “who are we to think we could do something wonderful?” Our dreams are on the horizon, and there are rocks and wind and waves between us and that dream. We think the ocean is too big, and we are too small. How will we ever reach our dreams? I am shivering with the fear and doubts this picture brings up in me. I love that you all are such good encouragers to each other. It makes me wish I had been in that group of 98 women Holley picked. I did apply, but when I wasn’t picked, I thought “yeah, I am just not good enough. Of course, she wouldn’t pick me.” That hasn’t stopped me from working on my dream of writing a Christian book, but it is going slowly, very slowly. I have worked on Holley’s Do What You Can Plan, and her “You Are Already Amazing” worksheets. I loved them! They really helped me get this far. I have a blog, and my husband and I lead a small group in our home for our church. I am still stumbling over the rocks, and turning my back to the wind, and turning from the horizon, then just peeking at the dream that sits out there waiting. What if it never happens? I worked on the word “Trust” last year, so I could trust that what God wants to happen, will happen. If it doesn’t happen, it wasn’t supposed to happen. sigh. This year my word is “Come”, and I am writing about what I learn from “Just One Word” this year. Maybe some of you ladies will read my blog and give me some feedback. Just click on my name above. Thanks for creating this website. It has already given me some encouragement not to give up on my dream yet. I have always liked the feel of the wind in my face.
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Kristin Smith says
Janet – I am so glad that you are here! Don’t ever believe that you are not good enough! There have been so many things that I have watched other have the opportunity to do and wondered the same things…..what was wrong with me? Didn’t I have what it takes? And then God drops an opportunity I never expected in my lap and it is better than I had ever hoped. So hold tight to that….a wise friend told me that sometimes God says no to the “better” so you can say yes to the “best” He has planned for you! Keep dreaming friend!
PS I had a chance to stop over to your blog….the story about your daughter and the tornado gave me chills. Praise God they were ok physically and we will be praying that He restores the broken pieces of their home soon as well!
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Christine Wright says
Hi Janet! Your comment touched me. I’m hugging you through this screen. 🙂 Yes, just like Kristin, I’ve been there too – so many of us on this team have. While there was only room for a limited number on the smaller God-sized dream team, this website was a way for us to share what we found in that space, with everyone. : ) We are so very glad you’re here – we are in your corner and praying for you! I can’t wait to see what God does this year! I love this line you wrote, “I have always liked the feel of the wind in my face.” : ) YOU are a God-sized dreamer, friend! : )
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Janet says
Thanks, Christine. The hug is appreciated. It is good to know other women who share similar feelings and experiences. I am really enjoying this website!
(Sorry for the 2 comments to Kristin. I thought the 1st disappeared, but it popped up later. )
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Janet says
Thank you Kristin! My daughter and her family need the prayers. Two months after the tornado, and they still do not have money from their insurance company. It is heart breaking to see them struggle, while the insurance company delays and delays. I do hope that God is planning something better for them and for my dreams too. Thanks for your wise words.
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Janet says
Thanks, Kristin! I appreciate the prayers for my daughter and her family. They are still waiting for money from the insurance company 2 months after the tornado. I am hoping God has something better for them, worth the wait. I also appreciate your wise words of encouragement. Thank you.
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a says
Your mode of explaining everything in this paragraph is actually
pleasant, all be able to easily understand it, Thanks a lot.
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