On Wednesdays we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your dreaming stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we are excited to welcome Jessica Van Roekel to God-sized Dreams. She shares about how her perspective of her dreams have changed. Thanks for being here today, Jessica!
When I was a little girl I use to dream of family.
The kind of family where the mommy and daddy loved each other and the kids basked in the glow of that love.
The kind of family where it was a safe place to fail.
The kind of family where kids were encouraged to dream big and use their imagination.
The kind of family where performance didn’t mean acceptance.
The kind of family where perfection and rejection were not related.
Then I grew up.
I married at 20 and had my first baby at 23. Three more followed in the next 7 years. My dream had come true. I was living my dream.
What I didn’t know was how stinking hard it would be to steward the dream.
The afternoon spent daydreaming is a lovely experience, but the flip side of living out the dream is the unexpected stress that comes with a dream come true.
Hear my heart: I love my dream come true, but I do not have a dream family.
The dream family would always laugh, always look out for another’s interest, always have time for each other, always be happy, and always dance through cotton candy clouds hand in hand.
Reality? I am not the dream mom I hoped to be.
And I have been given four hearts to disciple, hold and guide. Yikes.
I have messed up at living this dream. Sometimes I demand my agenda at the cost of my lovelies. Sometimes I treat my lovelies like a burden. Sometimes I resent the effort I put into my lovelies with little visible return. Sometimes all I can see of the dream is dirty floors, an island that I never see the top of, the heart messes, the dishes in the sink, and the exhausted face that looks back at me in the mirror.
This is my dream come true. I dreamed of a family, but I’ve realized dreams need stewarding.
My dream also revealed a pile of emotions I had never addressed so I needed God’s healing touch.
My dream has brought the best blessings into my heart and life, but it hasn’t been without it’s own unique struggle. I had no idea how much work it would be.
I am beginning to think dreams are like that.
But this is what I have learned as I look at this dream fulfilled:
- Dreams are a gift from God.
- I need to surrender the outcome of the dream to the One who gave the gift.
- I need to partner with God as he unfolds the dream day by day.
- Dreams teach us more about ourselves than we expect.
- Dreams provide us with opportunities to grow.
I had a God-sized dream to have a family different than the kind that I grew up in, and I do. It just looks different than the dream I had pictured in my heart and that’s okay. I am deeply thankful for it.
With the dream came the privilege of discipling hearts.
With the dream came submitting to God’s healing process.
Sometimes God gives us dreams to dream and sometimes he causes one of those dreams to come true—not for our benefit but for his. To mold and shape us into a clearer reflection of him.
He is a good, good God and he knows what he is doing. I still dream. I have dreams that involve my family and my future, but I know that if and when those dreams come true, they will take on colors that I never could imagine and it will be good.
Do you have a God-sized Dream story to tell? We’d love to have you share your journey with us!
Visit our Guest Post Submissions page to learn more!