More than two years ago, we were in what we thought would be our family’s third adoption process. But I hesitate to call it a process because we weren’t getting anywhere and hadn’t been for quite some time. We met closed doors even though we believed we were pursuing God’s will for our family.
We ended up laying down our desires because my husband Greg and I each had peace that was right – at least until God told us otherwise. So we converted the would-be nursery into a guest room and gave away our crib. The adoption process that wasn’t going anywhere was feeling like the early days of us trying to conceive. The emotions and weariness were taking me away from being able to live with my life – the one with two fun, healthy kids God had already given us through adoption.
So we let go.
And we lived.
And then about 18 months later, God surprised us. He renewed the desire to adopt in a fresh way. He guided conversations between Greg and I. We asked for prayer because we believed God was moving in a new way.
Six months ago, we met through a friend a local woman who wanted to make an adoption plan with us. We spent the summer updating our home study (again) and preparing our house and hearts to become a family of five. I took the birth mom to appointments and learned about this sweet woman who was choosing life for this baby and choosing us as her parents. Our daughter, Rachel, was born in September just a few blocks from our house at the local hospital.
I look at Rachel’s brown eyes and watch her watch the world around her and realize those hard days a couple years earlier helped prepare me for this. None of those other adoption scenarios we heard about and hoped for we meant to be ours because Rachel is meant to be ours.
Those days more than two year ago were hard because I believed we were pursuing God’s will for our family. And maybe we were. Maybe the hard days were part of the plan. Regardless, I know God used the hard days to make me more like his son – and in turn a better wife, mom and friend. I wouldn’t be the person I am if I hadn’t walked through the hard part.
Thankfully, the hard days were a just season. {Tweet that.}
Isaiah 43:19 offers so much hope when the days are dreary: “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
I’m thankful God was working in my life even when that season didn’t look like I envisioned. I’m thankful God made himself known even when we made the hard decision to stop pursuing adoption. I’m thankful he once again knew the desire of my heart and made is a reality in his time – which was better than my time anyway. And I’m thankful God didn’t leave me stranded in the wasteland.
He’s doing the same for you, friend. There are going to be hard days in the journey to the best God-sized dream, but that doesn’t mean God has abandoned you in the wasteland. He’s making a way for you. Wherever your journey takes you helps you become more like Jesus – and that’s the dream God ultimately has for us.
Shared By: Kristin Hill Taylor
Love this, Kristin!! Thanks for sharing your “God-sized-dream” with us! I am encouraged and inspired to keep asking and keep dreaming… So happy for you guys. 🙂
Thanks, Megan! I’ve enjoyed connecting with you recently and looking forward to getting to know you better! xoxo