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[pinit count=”horizontal”]
“I’m tired,” I confessed to friends over lunch one day.
“What’s going on?” they asked.
I shrugged my shoulders and sighed. “I don’t really know.”
They hugged me and promised to pray I’d be filled up again.
That night I pulled out my journal, plugged headphones into my ears, and grabbed a Sharpie. I wanted to think through my life and especially my work. I began to put “Writer” at the top of the page because that’s my title {and one of my God-sized dreams}.
But as I leaned toward the paper I felt a bit of hesitation, and I silently asked God, “What do you want me to write in that spot?” And it seemed I heard one word in response: Worshiper.
And suddenly I knew why I was so exhausted. I’d switched from being a worshiper to a worker.(<====Click to Tweet) In other words, I’d slipped back into perfectionism. Throughout my life when I’ve felt pressure mounting and expectations building, I tend to have this heart reflex: try harder. Be more. Do more. Go more. I carry on like that until I get weary and worn out.
Yes, I should have caught on a bit quicker to that pattern by now. But I’m a bit of a slow learner in this area it seems. Maybe you have one of those areas in your life too?
Thankfully we serve a God of grace. A God who chases us down right in the middle of all our wild and weary-making running. A God who speaks life and peace and rest into us. A God who wants our hearts more than our hands.
God generously offers us what all tired people need: rest. Even if the world around us keeps unavoidably spinning—the toddlers keep throwing Cheerios, the projects keep coming, the calendar keeps filling—we can wrap our fingers around peace in a way that truly does pass understanding. And we can let go of all we’ve grasped that was never meant for us.
“You can be saved by returning to me. You can have rest. You can be strong by being quiet and by trusting me” (Isa. 30:15 GW).
I filled the page with words and prayers. Then I laid my pen down. And when I laid my head down on the pillow that night too, I felt different. Not so weary and afraid. Quieter inside. More like a worshiper and less like a worker.
I hope to end each day a little more like that for the rest of my life, because I’m learning it’s the best, most beautiful way to live. And it’s ours for free.
—Holley Gerth, author of the new book You’re Loved No Matter What: Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect
p.s. Is the pressure to be perfect secretly hurting you and your dream? You can find out by taking Holley’s free one-minute quiz.
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Meredith Bernard says
Oh, how often I’ve been a worker instead of a worshiper…more often (and more recent) than I care to admit. Thank you for these words, Holley…and for this book. God is using your heart and words to bring so many of His daughters to freedom from perfection and our doings, and bringing us back to Him. XO
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fallingblossoms says
WOW! That’s my story – kinda – from last night. I was feeling so weary, soul – worn. But last night, when my hubby turned over and fell asleep, I was restless. I picked up my Bible and journal and went off somewhere, where the light wouldn’t bother anybody, and turned my heart to God. Read Psalm 123. Journaled a bit. It was still a little hard to just fall asleep – must’ve been that ice cream I had too close to bedtime – but I woke up feeling just that: worshipful, peaceful, rested. I love how God works.
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Wendy says
That’s an easy slip… from worshipper to worker. Thanks for sharing your story with us here. – Wen
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