Learning To Say “No”

“Y-E-S”

That tiny little word with a bellowing roar.

Those 3 letters seem to jump out of my mouth…sometimes while my insides cringe with despair. The load is already too heavy and I’m barely hanging on by a thread.

I have a hard time saying “NO.”

Most of this comes from good intent. Inside my soul, I sincerely want to help others. I want to be supportive and pull my load in the church/community. And like any good mother, I want to give my kids every opportunity/advantage possible to keep them well-balanced and grounded.

But the flip side to this is….deep down, I also stress over how others are judging my every move. I can’t stand to disappoint anyone. And what would they think of me, if I said “NO?” I don’t want to be labeled the girl who can’t handle it.

But lately God has been opening my eyes to what I’ve been missing. He pointed out so blatantly, what I needed to hear…

When my heart is closest to the fear of what others think, it is furthest from the faith in the One who truly matters. (<====Click To Tweet.)

So I am learning to weigh everything against Him first…even the seemingly “good” things that come along.

Life is full of choices, and there are so many “good” options out there with promising results. But you can only spread yourself so thin, and in the end something’s always gotta give.

And sadly what gives is usually the people and things closest to your heart. If you don’t fight for the dreams He has given you and pursue those goals, other people will fill your time with theirs.

This morning I read from Colossians 3:23 {NIV} –

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”

I realized that when I spread myself so thin, I’m not wholeheartedly giving my ALL to the Lord, or to the tasks He has placed in front of me.

As I’ve tried to adjust my viewpoint, here are a few things I’m learning:

Every life is in a different season.
What works for one person right now, may not work for me in this moment. The day-to-day life of a mama with young kids has different demands than the life of a retired grandma. Same as if you are working outside the home, juggling homeschooling, etc. We are all in different seasons of life and there is nothing wrong, better, or more holy about one versus the other. Different seasons enable us to do different things at different times. There is no shame in that.

Stop comparing my life/job/family to anyone else’s.
Comparison is the true thief of joy. And if someone else seems to have it all perfectly together, I can guarantee that behind closed doors ― they don’t. Their struggles are just as real, just as huge, and just as hard to bear.

Live intentionally.
This is a hard one for me as I’m a pretty spontaneous person. However, by not allowing myself to get sidetracked or distracted by the things that won’t/can’t/don’t help me accomplish my goals right now, I make much more progress long-term. Schedule, take baby steps, and prioritize.

It is not selfish to take care of my own body (in fact it might be the opposite).
Lots of stress + lack of sleep = migraines. And when that happens, it’s a no-brainer that I accomplish far less than I set out to when I push myself too hard.

I am not Wonder Woman.
As much as I wish I had Super-Hero powers that could pause time or that could dissolve laundry piles, I don’t. Some days dinner is late and meetings get skipped. But again, it’s okay. Life is unpredictable and often chaotic with kiddos, but they won’t always be little and I wouldn’t trade the dust in the corners, or the dishes in the kitchen sink, for a single night without them in my life.

Life is NOT a race against anyone else.
It is a journey, and we are meant to LIVE all of it…Every messy, amazing, mundane, glorious moment of it. Life should be cherished and celebrated! I don’t want to rush through what I can never get back.

So in the end, I am slowly learning to say “No”, so that I can wholeheartedly say “Yes” to what really matters. (<====Click To Tweet.)

What about you? Do you ever struggle with feeling like you have to do it all too?

Shared by: Lisa Larson