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Oh, friends, we have a special treat! Mandy Scarr our guest writer today! For those who don’t know Mandy yet, she is a monthly contributor for both Allume, and the More to Be blog, as well as a member of Holley Gerth’s God-sized Dream Team. Mandy is a wife and mom too! She shares some of her God-sized dreaming journey with us below…
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I shared my dream. I said it. It was the first time I let it out (to anybody but my husband). The words just sort of flew out of my mouth, and before I knew it, my dream was sitting out on the table between us. There was no turning back.
It felt like I was standing naked in the middle of Time Square for all to see.
I felt vulnerable.
I wasn’t normally this big of a dreamer- it had to have been from Him. It really was a God-sized dream; something I couldn’t do on my own. And for the longest time, I kept it to myself. I didn’t think anyone else would believe in me; believe He could do this through me. And that’s why I kept it to myself. I feared what others might say.
And so, I was surprised when that dream slipped out of my mouth and into her ear. I was surprised that I trusted her with this secret dream. But I did, and there it was, out there for her to see, for her to judge.
For a few long seconds {which surely felt like an hour!} she just stared back at me. The room was silent minus the ticking of the clock above the door. And my heart was waiting. I was vulnerable and cautiously awaiting her response.
My heart longed to hear her encouragement, my heart longed to hear that she believed upon Him- believed He could and would use me in this way. But that’s not what she said.
She was gracious as she wrapped her words in sugar, words that didn’t meet the longings of my heart. Her words, they weren’t affirming- they didn’t encourage my dream, they didn’t even encourage my dreaming.
I felt squashed, I felt pushed aside.
She used her words to gently dash my hopes. She made me feel like it wasn’t possible, He couldn’t use me that way, so I might as well settle my dreaming and move along to a more realistic pursuits.
And you know what I did? I believed her.
For a solid two years I stopped dreaming. I took the dream that I now realize God had planted in my heart, and I put it in a box. I put that box high up on a shelf, a shelf that my short 5’4’’ frame couldn’t reach, and I left it there. It was out of my reach, and I told myself that He hadn’t created me for such big things. I believed the lie.
For two years I walked around aimlessly searching for what I was supposed to do, who I was supposed to serve, how I was supposed to use the gifts God had given me. I wondered and I wandered. I doubted myself, and I doubted God’s ability use me.
And I made a big mistake.
Yes, it was a mistake to take my dream and put it neatly in a box and place it out of my reach; but that wasn’t the biggest mistake I made. The biggest mistake I made was listening solely to the words of another. Yes, wise counsel is important, but sometimes counsel isn’t wise, sometimes counsel is near-sighted, sometimes counsel doesn’t believe God for the seemingly ‘impossible’.
God is the dream giver, God is the dream maker, God is the dream orchestrator. (<==== Click to tweet) No man can discern what God can or cannot do through another. I’ve learned not to let man decide what His dream is for me. Because you know what, sisters? God does the ‘impossible’ through people like me – people who don’t see how He could possibly fill such big dreamer shoes with tiny feet like mine. (<==== Click to tweet)
And I finally see, I finally believe; He will use me for this wildly big dream, simply because He can.
He too might have a little lesson in mind for my near-sighted dreamer friend; never put limitations on my God, for He can do all things through those who are willing.
Shared by: Mandy Scarr
Photo Credit: Spitefully via Compfight cc, Graphics: Godsizeddreams.com
Mandy is a lover of deep relationships, theological discussions, and anything with chocolate and peanut butter. She feels called to ministry, seeking to share with women of the freedom she walks in because of her relationship with Jesus. She is wife to J and mama to little j. Mandy and her family live in the beautiful suburbs of Washington, D.C. She writes at www.mandyscarr.com. You can connect with Mandy further on Facebook and Twitter.
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We invite you to link up your God-sized dream posts below.
Rather than give a prompt, we’re opening the weekly link up to ALL God-sized dream posts!
Share your story on your blog and link up with other God-sized dreamers.
{For those who don’t have a blog, we invite you to share in the comments or on Facebook.}
We only ask that you keep the linked posts God-sized dream related and that you link back to this post.
{Click here for a link to the photo above.}
Beautiful post Mandy – thank you so much for this reminder today!!
It is absolutely my pleasure to be a guest here today! Thanks for having me 🙂
Thank you for sharing today. I too have a God sized dream and I currently feel stuck as when I have shared my dream so far I normally get the look of “yes that is a dream alright, and no way that can come true”. I will continue to pray for direction and for God to place the right people in my path to help my dream come true. I have gotten very good at knowing the signals God has given me when I may be letting my dream slip because the security in my current situation is comfortable. These posts help keep me accountable everyday that my dream stays in the forefront of my mind.
Jenny,
I love that you come to this site for inspiration! Keep on keeping on—keeping those eyes fixed on the One who gives you the dream! I love it! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Oh have I been there! Part of my God-sized dream is writing a book; no one blinked at that when I told them but when I said another part of fulfilling my dream was going back to school for a second bachelor’s degree, that’s when I got the looks and the, “Why would you do that??” without any sugar-coating from at least one family member. I knew that God wanted me to go down that path so I didn’t balk at the sideways glances (I actually expected them) but I had hoped that by now, almost two years later, they would have gotten better. In some cases they have and in some cases they haven’t. It is hard when those you love don’t support you in your dreams but learning to recognize what is from God and what isn’t is so helpful. Thank you for the inspired post Mandy!
Ashley,
You go girl! Study hard and He will make those dreams come true! Thank you for sharing your story- thank you for being such an example of someone fighting hard for their dreams–despite what others say or do around you! 🙂
Wonderful post! I recently took a step in my God-Sized Dream – and that is just putting my story out there. It’s not the prettiest story – but I am learning that the prettier the story, the less impact it will have on others. I believe that our brokenness is a tool and I am trying to use mine to reveal God’s hand in my life. And that no matter how broken you might feel, He is always there to put you back together – it might not be the same way as before – and more than likely it won’t be – and THAT is a GOOD and MIRACULOUS thing!
That’s what makes God-Sized Dreams so awesome – the seemingly impossible becomes possible – as you said, “God does the ‘impossible’ through people like me – people who don’t see how He could possibly fill such big dreamer shoes with tiny feet like mine. ” Thank you for encouraging me to keep dreaming and keep turning it over to God.
As I tell my ten year old daughter – “run your race because what God has in store for you is unique,” and ” do what your heart tells you” (whether it be friending a person your other friends aren’t too crazy about, standing up for a child being teased or bullied, or just her own interests – they’re HERS alone). My husband and I believe that dreams are so important in life.
Kristin,
Your daughter is one blessed girl! To have a Mama encouraging her in her dreams, what a blessing! I pray that she would grow in her love of chasing down the unique path that God has for her–following her dreams, just like you are doing! Amen for God healing our broken places too!! I hear you sister, I TOTALLY hear you! 🙂
Is there anything worse than speaking your dream out loud to someone just to have them stare back at you blankly? And then give you ALL the reasons why you can’t do it?
Thank you Mandy for this reminder to keep dreaming and keep pursuing even when others tell you it’s silly.
Amen, sister 😉 So glad it resonated with you! Thanks for the love 🙂
Mandy, I’m so glad God kept that flame going inside long enough for you to find the truth you shared: “And I finally see, I finally believe; He will use me for this wildly big dream, simply because He can.” Thank you for the encouragement here!
This is beautiful! There are too many instances where those grand dreams are pushed aside due to the negative words of others. I’m so glad you are able to realize that to Him nothing is impossible. Pursue those dreams!