On Wednesdays we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your dreaming stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we are excited to welcome Maria Drayton to God-sized Dreams. She shares some encouragement and wisdom for those times we are facing trials. Thanks for being here today, Maria!
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We had just celebrated Labor Day. The weather was still hot and humid. My mom had called and asked me to stop by for a visit after church. She lived in Delaware and I stayed in Pennsylvania but because my move to PA had been recent, I still hadn’t found a new church and still drove to Delaware on Sundays for service. Often I stopped by my mother’s after church service so I did not think it was odd that she had requested the same this Sunday.
Service was exuberating as usual. I still was on my natural high of spending time in the Lord’s presence as I drove the two minutes to my mother’s house. When I walked in I noticed quickly she had been crying. I found that odd considering it was Sunday and I knew what a devoted Christian woman she was. Hadn’t she gone to church today? I thought to myself. All I noticed is that she was visibly upset. She asked me to come downstairs so that she could talk to me.
As she talked, my world began to close in around me. It seemed like the room was shrinking in size as she spoke quietly and explained to me that she had been diagnosed with Stage VI Colon Cancer. The condition was terminal. The rest of that day was a blur that I can’t remember even though I’ve tried.
After her diagnosis, I had resolved in my spirit that “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” John 11:4.
So, I committed myself to her and her daily needs of doctor’s appointments, cooking, cleaning, going to the pharmacy…whatever she needed, I did. I posted Scriptures of healing all over her house and hospital room when she stayed there.
That was my belief and I was unwavering. I knew He would heal her and I waited for it.
Well, He didn’t heal her. She passed. It was only five months later that she was gone.
My whole world seemed to change in just six months. Only months before, things were great. I was learning all about the love of God, praising Him, walking with Him and just growing in His truths.
Now, I was mad. I wasn’t just mad but angry, hurt, disappointed, and depressed. I felt like God abandoned me and all my hopes were gone. She had been my best friend, my mother, my father, my everything.
I had believed, I had prayed, I had my Pastor go and pray over her, and still she died. My faith had been shaken. I wasn’t sure what to believe anymore…all I knew is that I was angry. Angry at God.
I wish I had more paper and time to fully explain everything The Lord did for me in the months after and the years to come. He literally carried me through the following years. My faith had been shattered, my hope was all gone, and I had given up. But God didn’t give up on me. The Holy Spirit ensured me that if I got out of bed, He would do the rest. And He did.
Today it is fourteen years after that day. Today, I love Jesus more than before. Not because of what He did for me but who He has been to me. He has been my mother, father, sister, friend, husband, doctor, lawyer, mechanic, decorator, and builder, just everything. Scripture has become alive for me. He carried me for many years after until I was able to walk on my own again. He blessed me with a son a year after my mother died. I named him after my mom. I am also married now…another answered prayer.
Today I want to encourage the reader of this story. I don’t believe in coincidence, and if you are reading this, it was meant for you.
Wherever you are in life, please know that He has not forgotten you, knows where you are and will bring you to an expected end in Him. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (KJV)
God has truly given me beauty for ashes.
Isaiah 61:1-3 “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for The spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.”
Maria Drayton, originally from Seattle, Washington is a graduate of Washington State University and has a degree in Journalism with an emphasis in Communications. Maria has traveled all over the United States but currently resides in Deptford, New Jersey with her husband and son. With a passion for the Lord, she has been serving and walking with Him since 1990 and desires to bring a young, fresh, new look into intimacy with God. Since 2001, she attends Bethel Deliverance Church and desires to begin a women’s ministry for young women to learn to apply God’s Word in their daily lives.
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Maria, the journey with illness and our loved ones is a difficult and emotional one for sure. And yet, our God walks with us through it all, holding onto us even when we have let go of Him. May the sharing of your story bless many and be used for His glory and to healing of many hearts.
Thank you for your kind words. Often we forget where He has brought us from and to share with others. I hope this true story encourages you in your walk. Be blessed.
Thank you, Maria! Thank you for sharing this story of life here on this fallen planet. Hearing a “no” from God is so painful and it makes us question our faith — we question HIM! And yet, you have come through all the questioning with a renewed assurance that even though we do not understand the ways of God, He is good and He is sovereign.
Blessings to you!
You are so welcome!! I am EXTREMELY blessed that you enjoyed the article and it encourages you in your walk with Him. Obedience has led to my sharing personal stories of intimacy with the Lord. Stay tuned…so much more to come!
Thank you so much for sharing. Love Always Uncle Mike I am truly Blessed to have someone like you in my Life. Your Precious Presence has made Life Enjoyable, Acceptable and Worth Living. God Bless You.
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. Disappointment can hurt, but you turned your sorrow into lamentation like a Psalm.
I just wanted to add my agreement with the other commenters and thank you. Your post was a good reminder to me to trust and keep on pressing into Him when life doesn’t go as planned.
Sometimes we need to realize our desires are not always in sync with the Lord’s despite our sincere and heartfelt efforts. I finally gave the Lord my desires for a vacation home near to my sons’ and their families. It has been heartbreaking as I desperately sought the right place and found my husband disagreed and wanted me to discontinue my efforts. Now I am undergoing some physical issues that makes me realize that my heart’s desire was not what God had planned. I’m sure you found the experience of losing your mom one that brought doubts about God’s love for her. It is reassuring that over time we can see how His plan is perfect and need to trust in Him for all our plans.
Thank you for sharing how God brought you through the valley and into healing and blessing, and the beautiful truth that He never gives up on us!