When I was a kid, no one talked about community. It just was, and it was everywhere—in the fire lane where we’d meet to play football and at the pool where long summer days were spent keeping cool. We found community at school, church, Girl Scouts, youth group, softball practice, etc. And wherever I spent my day, I’d typically end it at home with my sister, mom, and dad.
They were the days before the Internet when we had only four TV channels (five if the weather was right and someone sat in just the right spot in the living room).
We didn’t talk about community, we lived it.
It’s interesting how finding community, something that grew organically in the past, has become a topic of discussion and a thing we feel the need to intentionally create. How is it that when life has never been fuller with constant communication and streams of information as close as our smart phones, we are lacking community?
Have we forgotten how to just “do life” with others?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m someone who thinks, talks, and prays about creating community as well. I understand how lonely and disconnected a person can feel in our times. For all the people in our lives, the strength and comfort of community can be elusive.
Lately, I’ve been thinking the solution might be closer than we think. Our families were our first communities, and they can continue to be a rich source of friendship, support, and personal growth.
Here are four things I’m learning to do to intentionally cultivate community in my family:
- Love the ones you’re with. It’s easy to take family for granted. God’s cure for the loneliness of the first man Adam was to give him family, and it’s still His design.
- Recognize and appreciate the sanctifying grace of family. Home is where faith gets tested and made strong and pure. I’ve often said, “If I can live out my faith within these four walls, I can live it anywhere.”
- Remember that your family is not a hindrance to your God-sized dream but a proving ground. Our dreams often feel just a little bigger than our time, resources, and opportunities. It’s their nature and what makes us stretch, grow, and trust even more than before. God uses our family circumstances as a sort of “boot-camp” to prepare us to fulfill His plans and our dreams.
- Enjoy. I have a sign in my house with this one word to remind me. Between the never-ending daily tasks and the sanctifying process, it’s easy to forget that the first community I dreamed of and prayed for has been given to me by a loving God to enjoy!
As I write this on my iPhone, we are driving our oldest son and his wife to the airport after an extended visit. The past couple weeks our house has been bursting at the seams and tomorrow it will be quiet as it returns to “family-light.” But whether full or few, I know the dearest and best community on this earth is my family.
They’re the ones who have formed me and my dreams, and they’re the ones who’ll be cheering the loudest when my God-sized dreams come true.
Shared by: Kim Hyland
Mandy Hughes says
February 20, 2017 at 8:32 amHello Kim! What a beautiful post. We live in a time where there is an app for everything. I love when my family breaks out a good ol’ board game. We sit together and play Trouble or Chutes and Ladder or Monopoly for hours. As fun as the games tend to be, we mostly enjoy just spending time as a family. I really enjoyed the things you listed to be more intentional and will definitely think upon in my own life. Thanks for sharing <3
Kim Hyland says
February 20, 2017 at 3:02 pmThank you, Mandy! And YAY for family games! I love how how they bring us together, make us laugh, and leave such fun memories.
Michele Morin says
February 20, 2017 at 8:48 amKim, this post is a huge encouragement to me — and I’m sure to others who write on the fly, who make macaroni and cheese and then scrub the nasty pan while dreaming up the next blog post, and try to concentrate on ministry-planning with the sound of teenage laughter in the back ground. I want to be faithful to God’s calling on my life, and also to ENJOY all that He has given me here in this home — my community of rowdy kids and a ridiculously patient husband. Blessings to you — heading over to check out Winsome Woman!
Kim Hyland says
February 20, 2017 at 3:04 pmI’m so glad, Michele! The longer I’m at this writing thing, the more I appreciate all the life my family makes me live in between the telling.
mareedee2016 says
February 20, 2017 at 9:10 amI want a sign that says ENJOY. Somehow we forget to do that at home. It seems we are always working on something. Thank you!
Kim Hyland says
February 20, 2017 at 3:04 pmThat sign really helps me remember. It’s been a good investment 🙂
Dawn Boyer says
February 21, 2017 at 12:36 pmKim,
This spoke so deep to my heart today. Families were the first communities and they do NOT get in the way of our God-sized dream… but instead they help us fulfill it. As a homeschooling mom, I get an excessive amount of time at home alone with my community… for an introvert that can sometimes be overwhelming. 🙂 But in truth, your words reminded me of where He has always called me to minister first and most importantly. Thank you for this.
Blessings!!
Dawn
Kathy Cheek, Devotions from the Heart says
February 21, 2017 at 3:04 pmWe have two grown daughters and one got married last year and she has insisted that we have a family dinner each month. We rotate from our home to their place and then our other daughter’s place and we enjoy it so much.
This past Saturday night was our Feb. family dinner and the daughter that hosted it made butternut squash lasagna which I never heard of was delicious!
But the family time was the best!
bluecottonmemory says
February 7, 2018 at 9:12 pmI grew up in my grandmother’s house after my parent’s divorce. My mom and I shared a room. My aunt lived up the street. It was a unique gift – living this kind of family community. I miss the all of us in the kitchen – the working together, all these generations together – much like it was at my great-grandmother’s house when extended family used to come live for years. Making home hours away from home, I have had to develop a different kind of community that fills that void. I think I have. It’s different with it’s own brand of beautiful home and family. Surprisingly, maybe even more supportive for these dreams God put in me. Lots of God. Lots of kitchen. Lots of love! Your post felt like home!!!! I so enjoyed spending time reading!