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Fear is a Bully

March 5, 2018 By Celeste Barnard 9 Comments

Fear is a Bully

“The closer you get to your calling, the louder fear sounds.”
–Holley Gerth

When I was in Junior high I had a bully. She and her minions would follow me home relentlessly almost every day after school in the 7th grade. She would taunt me, call me names, and throw things at me. At school, I did everything I could to avoid her. She was very mean, and I dreaded our daily interaction. I would even try to go home different ways to avoid her, but somehow she would always find me.

One day after school, I was walking to my grandmother’s house with my best friend, Leslie Parker. This bully and her followers approached me, and they immediately started talking trash. This time she wanted to fight me. I was scared.

My friend saw the fear on my face as I held back my tears and tried not to make eye contact. My friend’s instincts kicked in, and she got between me and my bully. She told this girl that if she wanted to fight me that she was going to have to get through her first. I had never seen my best friend look so fierce. She was adamant that this bully-girl was going to have to fight her first. Her face was beet red, and she was getting in this girl’s face. The girl and her posse finally decided to leave.

I stood there in awe of what I had just witnessed. Not only was my friend one of the nicest, most non-violent people you would ever meet, but also, no one had ever stood up for me like that. We eventually moved, and I no longer had to deal with that bully.

But trust me, there were other bullies in my life.

The definition of a bully: a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.

In chapter five of the book, You’re Made for A God-Sized Dream, Holley Gerth describes fear as a bully who doesn’t fight fair.

“But like most bullies, fear doesn’t stand its ground when you turn and decide to face it.”

When I was fearful of my bully, I wanted to run and hide. I did whatever I could do to avoid the situation. I’ve noticed that I still do the same thing when fear creeps in. When God calls me to something that feels bigger than me or when God asks me to step out and do something that is out of my comfort zone, I want to run and hide and avoid the situation at all costs. Because fear, my bully, likes to lie to me. He says, “Who are you to do that?” or “There are so many people already doing that, why waste your time?” or “You can’t do that, what if you mess up?”

And there have been many times I hid…and he won.

I think about how much time I wasted, listening to this bully, fear.

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When God first called me to speak, I was so nervous and full of fear. Quite honestly, I still get nervous; the only difference is that I step out and face my bully instead of running and hiding. And I’ve learned that God steps in when my bully, fear, tries to push me around and He tells my bully that he’s got to go through Him first!

When we are feeling afraid, just like my friend Leslie Parker did, God sees that fear in our eyes. He sends His Holy Spirit to step in and say, I will fight for you.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:14 (NIV)

“Do not fear them, for the Lord your God is the One fighting for you.”
Deuteronomy 3:22 (NASB)

Stop Feeding the Fear…Let it starve!

On page 95 in the book, Holley talks about how fear has plenty of food to survive on just by living in this world. She goes on to say,

But sometimes we fatten it up even more by giving it treats. Every time we believe a lie, it’s like throwing a bone to fear. We indulge it with insecurity or offer it a bit more of our attention to nibble on. Fear eats it all up, and then we’re surprised when it grows.

No more! I’ve made it my mission to specifically do that thing that scares me because what I’ve realized is that there’s a reason the enemy is trying to keep me from doing it. He wants me to stay afraid and then I won’t do what God’s calling me to do. The enemy is sneaky. He knows that our calling affects not just us, but so many others. If we let fear lead, we won’t step out.

We all have times when fear growls at the door, when doubt creeps in, when we feel so very small. But those are the moments that God’s love can be the biggest, when He’s there with open arms, with truth that reminds us who we are. And who are you? You are loved (Psalms 103:11), You have purpose (Phil. 1:6), You are not alone (Psalms 73:23), and you are stronger than you know (Phil. 4:13). And nothing can change that- not this day, that situation, those thoughts inside your mind. (page 101)

Do it afraid! Don’t spend one more day listening to the lies of the enemy!

Face your bully and trust God to give you what you need as you need it!

Shared by: Celeste Barnard

                                     

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Filed Under: You're Made for a God-Sized Dream Series

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Celeste Barnard

About Celeste Barnard

Celeste Barnard is an extrovert by nature but secretly has some introvert tendencies. Originally from Northern California, she and her Texas husband have been in ministry and married for almost 18 years. Together, they have 3 teens and a fat little Pug named Latte. She is a writer and a speaker who is passionate about sharing with others what God has done in her life. She believes God does not waste one ounce of our pain--our stories are redeemed for His glory. She also is passionate about women being brave because when we’re brave we give others permission to be brave too. She has written a devotional called ‘Reflections’, and a ‘Be Your Best Brave’ Journal, and she has a podcast on iTunes called ‘Be Your Best Brave’. She is also in the process of writing her next book, Brave Dreams. She and her husband have recently embarked on a God-Sized Dream. They started a non-profit called (Big Red Ministries. ) They do camps, retreats, and events year-round. You can find her at her blog,Celeste Barnard. She is also a contributing writer for Rio Grande Valley Moms Blog and Gateway Women's Blog. Connect on Facebook, or Twitter.

Comments

  1. AvatarBev @ Walking Well With God says

    March 5, 2018 at 5:33 am

    Celeste,
    Fear IS a bully for certain. He’s like the burglar at the door. We’d never let a burglar come in our front door, yet we crack the door open for fear and let him get a foothold inside the door. Thanks for the rally cry and encouragement to slam the door shut and kick the enemy to the curb where he belongs.
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

    Reply
  2. AvatarBecky Hastings says

    March 5, 2018 at 6:42 am

    Fear. Ugh. I hate how often I’ve fed it, encouraged it, allowed it to have more power than it deserved. I’m so grateful for the reminder to face it. The best news is that we never face it alone. We have a God who will stand in that gap, between us and fear, and it has no chance to overtake us.

    Reply
  3. AvatarSarah Geringer says

    March 5, 2018 at 7:13 am

    Hi Celeste! I have been on both sides of the bully track. The bully when I was going through a tough family time in 5th grade. Bullied in many other ways throughout my school years. Being on both sides has helped me become more compassionate for both. I loved Holley’s book and how she talked about fear being a bully. You’ve reminded me to get it out again to gain some powerful encouragement. Blessings to you!

    Reply
  4. AvatarMichele Morin says

    March 5, 2018 at 7:49 am

    That image of believing a lie and throwing a bone to fear is so vivid. And I love the story you shared of how your friend faced your bullies alongside you. May this community serve in that role for Christian women as we bring our own fears out in the open and declare that God is bigger and well able to take us through the scary-brave as part of our journey of growth and maturity and availability.
    Blessings to you, Celeste!

    Reply
  5. AvatarMary Geisen says

    March 5, 2018 at 11:30 am

    Fear is a bully and I’m glad you pointed out how the enemy uses it for his gain. Saying “yes” is the easy part. Following through with the “yes” is where the enemy tries to derail us. Your mission to do more things scared is a great way to walk out your life in obedience to God. May we all rest secure in our identity as a child of God and say “ yes “ knowing God will provide.

    Reply
  6. Avataravwalters55 says

    March 6, 2018 at 6:32 am

    Dear Celeste, I’ve never connected fear and bullies in this way, but it’s so true! In the midst of trouble I tend to thrash about in my helplessness, when the Lord exhorts us to simply stand and be still. Thanks and blessings for this very timely reminder!

    Reply
  7. AvatarMichelle says

    March 6, 2018 at 6:54 am

    I love that you said not to feed your fear but let it starve…why don’t I look at it that way? Thank you for helping me shift the way I see fear!

    Reply
  8. AvatarBlogger Loves The King says

    March 7, 2018 at 7:14 am

    I love thinking of fear as a bully. Truth there. I also love the reminder of getting up to speak and fear being a bully. Thanks for these words.

    Reply
  9. AvatarHopeful50 says

    March 7, 2018 at 8:51 am

    FEAR IS A BULLY. Taking it captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ.

    Reply

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