So there I am. Alone in the great deep of night. My mind aimlessly wanders about the buried crevices of my soul, searching for the answers that never seem to come.
I’m like an old tattered rag, worn through and through. Torn between all that I am, and all that I am not.
The walls of life…they crumble, exposing and baring the innermost depth of my heart. Do I keep building these barriers of safety, or do I reach out and embrace the wide-open spaces?
I have two lives within me. The one I’ve lived, and the one waiting to be lived.
I take in a long, deep breath of this unfamiliar fresh air. It’s strangely invigorating. In the distance, I see the faint silhouette of a girl. She has a quiet, yet radiant glow about her. She moves forward, confident in the impeccable workmanship of her Maker. She doesn’t doubt who He created her to be. I reach for her, longing to fit her soul into mine, hoping to try her on for size. Yet, she slips through my fingers like running water.
A life lived so long in fear; doused with gallons of guilt, held over the bottomless pit of the unknown–it holds me back. It keeps me contained, like the bars of a maximum security prison.
I am my own worst enemy. How about you?
I’ve convinced myself at times that I can’t move forward or begin to embrace my dreams until I know who I am, until I’ve got life all figured out, and sorted into boxes that can be labeled and understood. But you see, the thing about life is, it’s ever-evolving, ever-changing…and so are we.
One of my favorite quotes by C.S. Lewis is, “Nothing is yet in its true form.”
That one little line from Mr. Lewis fills me with terror and excitement, all at once. At some point in our lives, we all hit that wall of coming to terms with who we are or who we wish we were. And even when we’re sure we’ve got it figured out, life has a way of throwing a few tornadoes in the mix to keep things exciting. The years go by and we continually shift, adjust, and transform.
We are not locked into what we are; we never remain the same.
And, this gives me great hope. Hope that despite my many mistakes and failures, God is not done with me yet.
I’ve learned that it’s okay not to have everything figured out. It’s okay not to know where the path might lead. And it’s okay not to know who you are yet…because there is One who already knows. (<==== Click to tweet)
I once thought it was selfish to embrace my gifts, talents, and God-given passions. But the reality is, it’s most selfish to keep all that we are to ourselves.
“Creative work is not a selfish act or bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.” –Steven Pressfield
To deny the gifts and talents God has given us is to deny His very workmanship, His creation, and His ingenuity that lives in each and every one of us.
All that we are and were created to become, is meant to be shared. Shared with our family. Shared with our neighbors down the street. Shared with the world.
Marianne Williamson states it beautifully, “…You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world…We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
So, here’s to throwing off the shackles, dreaming big, and daring to embrace all that God created us to become! (<==== Click to tweet)
Are you ready to jump past the fear, let go of your past mistakes and everything that holds you back, and truly embrace who God made you to be?