The lists had been made, the bags were in the trunk of the car, the bed & breakfast was booked, the sitter was at the house with our kids.
We kicked off our four days away together with an anniversary breakfast out at one of our favorite local spots, and the coffee had barely been poured before we started talking about life.
How tired we were.
But how good it was.
How challenging the days were.
But, mostly, how blessed we were to be living it all.
Before our food had even arrived, our conversation took a detour toward all the things that had been put on the back burner since our baby boy arrived a year before.
He mentioned writing.
And I sort of changed the subject because I knew there hadn’t been many words written. I told him how much I wanted the words to come, but they just weren’t there. He encouraged me to keep writing things down in hopes that maybe someday the blog would revive itself a bit.
And then I mentioned Indonesia.
Though we’ve been back in the States for seven years, it seems like our conversations still often end up here. It’s also no secret to him how much of a place those people still hold in my heart. He knows the ache I experience some days. And he’s seen the tears that fall, too.
But we know it’s not meant to be right now…that God has placed us where we are for a purpose. And we love it here, too.
But there was something in that conversation…as we reminisced and talked about all the changes since…that gave me freedom, and so I kept talking. Kept sharing my heart.
About how I wanted to open a coffee shop. A fair trade one that supports Indonesian farmers.
Even as I spoke the words, it felt so big. The kind of big for a dream that made it feel almost unfair to speak because it seemed so far off. So impossible. And, also, I thought he’d laugh.
But he didn’t.
He smiled. And then he said words that breathed life into my dreams more than he will ever know.
Do it. I think it’s a great thing to shoot for. Do some research and figure out what comes next.
That part of the conversation was quickly followed by my daily reality…the fact that life right now is giving what I have to my husband, seven-year-old daughter, and becoming-a-toddler boy. There’s not enough left over to do much dream chasing.
We talked about that, too, and how even if this is just the very beginning of a dream…I should still take the next step. Ask the questions, drink the coffee, make the connections, drink more coffee. All things that I can do. Especially the coffee part. 😉
I could tell you more, too. About how, within the next week, God set up two very specific appointments for me, both involving fair trade and coffee.
We had a great getaway together, and we hit the ground running once we returned home. Honestly, other than some prayers, I haven’t chased my coffee shop dream down much more. But I have thought a lot about that morning…and the one thing that’s stuck with me since I poured my heart out and dared to speak that dream to my husband.
But let’s put on our brave pants and our superhero capes and say them anyway.
Because maybe God has something big on the horizon. I mean, His faithfulness is great, He’s a good Father…and I know I can trust Him with my dreams, both the ones that feel safe and the ones that seem scary.
And I kind of can’t wait to see what happens with this one.
Shared by: Mel Schroeder