She dreamed of dancing with the New York City Rockettes. As a child, her mother put her into tap, jazz, and ballet lessons along with her older brother. He had contracted a mild case of polio, and the doctors said dance would help him regain his strength.
She danced year round until she was 18 and graduating from high school, but her dream of the Rockettes and NYC wouldn’t become a reality. She wouldn’t even audition. It was no use. She was an inch shorter than their required minimum height.
So her dreams shifted from New York and dancing to a secretarial job and life in the big city of Washington, DC, still a far cry from the small country town outside of Pittsburgh that she called home.
It was in DC that she met my Dad. A Puerto Rican transplant from Brooklyn, he was also a far cry from any of the small town boys she had known. Within a year they were married, and shortly after I joined them.
I don’t remember Mom talking much about dreams. What I do remember was how she lived life oblivious to boundaries. She created something from nothing all the time. My dad tells stories of coming home from work to find her painting rocks with me and my little sister. Meals were always special occasions no matter how simple. I remember themed birthday parties, Norman Rockwell-esque holidays complete with flaming plum pudding, and gorgeous wedding flowers three times over.
Mom didn’t know how to be a florist, but she knew how to create beauty. So when we were looking for ways to save money on my wedding, she took a look at some silk floral bouquets and said “I can do that!” And she did . . . for me and dozens of other happy brides over the last twenty-six years. She went on to build a successful floral design business and made dreams come true for many DC metro area brides. Her last two brides were our daughter Emily and daughter-in-law Kim at their weddings last year.
Mom’s dreams were all about what she could create to bless the people around her. {<==click to tweet} She was diagnosed with cervical cancer last August. After a hysterectomy in the fall, she slowed down just long enough to get back to her busy life of visiting nursing homes, leading a Bible study, mentoring younger women, and sharing with almost everyone her love of God. Sometimes she shared it with words and at other times with thoughtful actions.
Early this year her cancer returned and by August it was pronounced terminal. During her last months, she was in a lot of pain. But in December at our son Josh & Kim’s wedding, she had fallen in love with the hymn “In Christ Alone” and had begun choreographing a dance to it. She was scheduled to perform it at her church’s women’s retreat in October of this year. Mom wouldn’t live that long.
Most days she hurt too much to practice her dance, but one day this summer she was feeling well enough to show it to the women in her Bible study, and one of them videoed it. Her cane is in the background leaning against a chair as she dances gently and haltingly but with passion. We showed the video at her memorial service.
Mom’s dream of dancing never really went away. She had dreamed of performing with an esteemed troupe in front of an equally esteemed New York City crowd. Her dreams shifted as she married and raised two daughters. Her love of God and people led her to help them fulfill their dreams. {<==click to tweet}
And on September 10, 2014 at 9:15 am, Mom danced before the King of Glory, as her God-sized dream came true.
Proverbs 16:9 tells us “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”
As we learn to acknowledge the passions and dreams God has placed in our hearts, fear often taunts us with the idea that things might not work out and then it will all be for nothing . . . the plans, the work, the hope, the dream.
But if our dreams come from our God and are pursued for Him, they will always work out for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).
Mom’s dreams at 65 looked nothing like they did at 18. I don’t doubt she felt discouraged when they “failed” along the way. But as I reflect on her life, I’m struck with the realization that the life of a person that dreams and loves God and others at the same time leaves a wake of inspiration and influence that keeps on spreading even after that life is gone.
Maybe our God-sized dreams are truly about all those along the way who are touched by our God through our dream.