God-sized Dreams

Where Dreams Set Sail

Stepping in the Dark

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Before I had kids I was brave…or, at least I thought I was.  

I also might have been a little crazier, a little less thoughtful of the others around me, a little…well, probably a lot of things. That’s just what happens when there aren’t little people depending on you for their survival.

The five years before we had kids, my husband and I worked overseas, and our years spent in southeast Asia gave us plenty opportunities to dust off our crazy…the kind of opportunities that now make me wonder why just a tad, the kind that I’d probably rethink now that we have two littles. And they’re also the kind that I now write stories about, too. 😉

We did all sorts of things to risk our lives. Like, one time my husband did some questionable parasailing on a Thai beach. (He swears it was safe, but I’m the one who watched it.)

Both of us drove motorbikes all over a rather busy, traffic-congested city. (Most of the time we wore helmets.)

We’d drive the windy, curvy, really-intense-but-only-way-to-get-there, roads for six plus hours with eight other people in the car to hang at the beach for a weekend.

We’d eat food from local street vendors, which is a lot braver than it sounds, depending on the country in which you reside. Ahem. (But all hail to the fried bananas with chocolate sprinkles and cheese anyway. Worth every single upset stomach and sick day.) 😉

And one time, I jetted off to the REAL jungle (the full of animals kind) with some friends for a hike and a spontaneous, vine-swing. And while the getting-there part of this adventure shouldn’t have been the most memorable part of the excursion, I’ve never forgotten it.

After landing in Medan and taking a van for about four hours through some pothole-filled back roads, we had to walk the last mile or so to the Jungle Inn. At midnight.

And I clearly remember that walk very, very well, because although I was with a group, it was totally dark other than the one flashlight held by the guy who met our taxi and led us to our hotel. And I also wasn’t brave enough to tell my friends that I was currently obsessing over the fact that I was absolutely positive a poisonous snake was just lurking in the shadows, ready to chomp at the unsuspecting, but actually totally suspecting, foreign girl who was terrified of them.

Each step was taken out of terror, my mind racing with possible, all-worse-case scenarios as we tromped through the midnight blackness, up and down steps and sidewalks and places that weren’t paved at all, and I felt so much relief when we finally saw the dim lights of our hotel. I hadn’t enjoyed a single step of that bit of the journey, taken in total darkness. I also hadn’t actually SEEN a single step of the journey either.

But those steps I’d taken…the ones I couldn’t see? They still got me to my destination.

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Yes, they did…and the next day went down as one of the most memorable days of my life. A hike through the jungles of Bukit Lawang, seeing the orangutans, swinging on a vine just because I could, ending the adventure with some tubing down the river. It was an incredible day that’s etched in my heart forever.

But getting there? Ugh.

Worth it? Absolutely. But still, ugh.  

I’ve been around this space for years now, and I’ll tell you, as I’ve often shared before, that I still don’t always know what my God-sized dreams are.

I’d like to write a book. I’d like to write for a few websites out there. I’d like to know for sure what God’s great, big purpose for me is in this greater, bigger world. But still, most days, I feel like I’m walking along in the dark…

I take care of my family, and most days that’s what I do. And most days, also, it feels like I’m not taking any steps forward…I’m just living my life, trying to do what’s in front of me, trying to follow my Father even if I don’t really know where I’m going.

It doesn’t always feel like enough dream chasing, but maybe…maybe it is.

For this season of my life, maybe my God-sized Dream is raising my kids and taking care of my family. It’s what God has called me to do.

Holley Gerth‘s book, You’re Made for a God-sized Dream, really resonates with me as she speaks to those moments when we’re not sure what’s next for us:

…lay it down. Surrender that goal to Jesus and tell him, “This is where I think you want me to go. So I’m moving forward. But you are Lord of my life, and you can change my path at any step along the way. What matters most to me is that I’m obedient to you.” Then go. (p. 74-75)

Obedience. That’s really what it’s all about on this dreaming journey, and what my prayer is for my life.

Whether I can see where I’m going or if I’m stepping in the dark.

Shared by Mel Schroeder

Photo by Peter Oswald on Unsplash
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Take a Step Forward

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On Wednesdays, we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your dreaming stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we are excited to welcome Elizabeth Livingston to God-sized Dreams. She shares the important reminder of walking in obedience to God when He calls us to do something. Thanks so much for sharing your words with us today, Elizabeth!

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A few days back I was going through my diary of 2017 and reflecting on my life during the past year. There were many challenges trying to block my way, but God led me faithfully through, in His grace and strength.

I also was identifying the achievements I had last year. One of the biggest achievements was my blog. I still can’t believe I have begun to write. I definitely can’t come into the category of writers yet, but blogging has given me a platform to share God’s Word and its principles with others. It gives me immense joy to see my life become a source of blessing through it.

The blogging idea was actually given to me by a friend, and I didn’t take it much seriously in the beginning. I could see more impossibilities than possibilities of having my own blog. But after praying and thinking much about it, I began to write. And to my surprise, I have written more than 35 articles in the past years which became channels of blessing and encouragement for others.

It’s not about pride but about thankfulness to God, Who found me as a worthy vessel.

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Many of my articles were written in the midst of my deepest pain and intense frustrations. At times I faced limitations of good English phrases, and my writings didn’t sound professional. Often, I felt disqualified, inadequate and criticised in my attempts to be a blogger. There were even times when I thought that I was stuck by my circumstances and there was no other escape except quitting. My mood swings, family issues and health issues didn’t allow me to feel like writing.

But all these adverse situations actually allowed me to rely on God completely rather than on my own understanding and strength. God brought people into my life who helped me with proofreading, shared their ideas and suggestions to improve my blog, and supported me with their prayers so I that I could continue my writing.

In my attempt to write, what I have learned along the way is that God doesn’t want perfection from us; He wants us to be willing to answer His call. When He puts something in your heart or uses people to tell you what He wants to do through you, it’s very important that we take a step forward with willingness, despite our limitations. He knows our shortcomings, our inabilities and our fears. This is where He strengthens us for His work.

He never calls the perfect, but He perfects the called.

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And over the last couple of years, I can see how much I have grown in my understanding of His love and grace. As I wrote the blog for the encouragement of others, I myself was encouraged and blessed.

Is God calling you to do something for His glory today? Do you feel you aren’t skilled or capable to do that work? Do you think you might fail in your attempt? Do you even think that you will be mocked or criticised by people?

I want to encourage you to take a step forward. God isn’t looking for perfection from us, but He is looking for our obedience and willingness. Don’t focus on your limitations, but let God work on them as you do what He has asked you to do.

Allow His strength to become perfect in your weaknesses.

The work He wants to begin in you, He is faithful to complete it. What matters is that you do the work to your best ability and trust God with the rest.

Nobody is perfect except God, so don’t worry…go ahead and accomplish what He has purposed for your life!

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 1:6 (NIV)

Photo by Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash

Elizabeth Livingston writes to encourage others through God’s Word and her life experiences. She writes to point people to the hope and love of Jesus in the midst of their trials. She believes God has unique plans for each one of our lives and when we embrace His promises and His plans, we can live a life which brings glory to His name. She is a wife, mother and a budding writer who wants to reflect God’s love, truth, and grace through her words. She lives in Trivandrum, Kerala, India with her husband, Nevin, and children Asher and Athalie. You can connect with her at her blog, on Facebook, and on Twitter.

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Dreams in the Wilderness

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After living in Colorado for 5 ½ years, we felt like God was calling us to South Texas. This was a hard move. I had an incredible writers group and started blogging while I was in Colorado, and I delivered one of my first message at our church’s youth group. Colorado was where I started to walk out some of the things that had been on my heart for many years.

One of my fears about moving was that I would leave all these incredible people that I had gotten to know…I mean, they were my people. What if I couldn’t find other writers and speakers where I was moving? I knew for sure that there weren’t any writer’s conferences or workshops in South Texas. I was afraid that I would no longer have those connections. Part of me thought that I, along with my writing and speaking, would just disappear into oblivion. I know, dramatic much?! I still remember my husband’s words to this day-“Hunny, God knows where to find you.”

After getting settled into our new lives, we quickly discovered that I would need to find a job to help supplement our income. I thought, Lord, did you bring me all this way to go backwards? Please know that when I say backwards, I am NOT saying getting a job is backwards! Not at all! But I’ve always wanted to be able to stay home with my kids, be there for all of their events, and just be present. It’s something I never had as a child and wanted for my kids. And up to this point, I was able to stay home with my kids while working maybe 8 hours a week at a Rec Center in Colorado.

One night my husband and I went out to dinner to talk about how we were doing and where we were at with everything. It was a new season…and a busy season. He had taken a position as the Children’s Pastor and I was working and directing Kid’s Choir and our kids were starting a new school. I had often shared my desire to speak and my passion to minister to women. He said he felt like I needed to lay those things down so we could focus on this new season and all that it included. I’ll never forget how the hot tears fell down my face. I was struggling to be in this new place and everything felt like it was fighting me…and then this.

Could God really want me to lay down my dreams?

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And if so, for how long? What if I lay them down, and He never gives me peace to pick them back up? I later cried out to God, and my only request was that if He was going to take this dream away (this dream that was from Him in the first place), that I needed Him to take away the desire also because it was just too much.

We read in Genesis 22 that God tested Abraham.

Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”
Genesis 22:2 (NIV)

Now let’s back up a little bit with this story. Abraham and his wife Sarai had prayed for a son well into their old age. When they gave birth to Isaac, Sarai was ninety and Abraham was 100. But God gave them their dream, a son.

When God asked Abraham to give up His dream, his only son, the Bible says that he got up early the next morning and began to load up his donkey. He didn’t argue, or plead with God.

He just obeyed.

I’ll be honest-if it had been me, I’d be like, “Did You really say that God?” or I’d be begging God for another way. But not Abraham. He went out the next day with his son and made a fire.

“Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the Lord called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied. Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”
Genesis 22:10-12 (NIV)

For Abraham, it was a heart check. Did Abraham really love God more than he loved his son? Or had his son become an idol in his life? I believe these passages reveal that God was still number one in his life- above and before everything else…even his only son.

The Lord taught me so much through this season of letting go and surrendering. It felt like such a wilderness experience. When I think of the wilderness, I think of searching in a dry and open land. I think of a place where I have more questions than answers. I think of desire and struggle. I have a feeling that most of us have been through some form of our own dreaming in the wilderness experience.

Here’s what I’ve learned as I’ve walked through that wilderness experience:

  1. God is still there. Hear me on this- When you’re walking through this wilderness, God can feel uncomfortably quiet. I know. Over and over you might ask, “God, are you still there?” He’s there and He’s using this time to change you and draw you closer to Him.
  2. God will still use you. Are you breathing? Then rest assured, God has a purpose for your life. Because of some of the things I’ve had to walk through, God is now able to use me to encourage others on their own journey through the wilderness. He will do the same for you. Nothing is wasted- no pain, no silence, no wandering in the desert is ever wasted with God. He can and will use it all.
  3. God still has a plan. Have you ever seen that picture of Jesus trying to take the little teddy bear from the little girl as she’s crying and doesn’t want to give it up? What she can’t see is the big teddy bear He’s trying to replace it with. Many times if He’s asked us to lay something down, it’s because He’s got something so much better for us, but we have such a hard time letting go.
    We white-knuckle our gifts and our callings and feel threatened at the thought of losing them.

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    He always has a plan, and I promise it is good. Let go.

  4. God is preparing you. It’s all part of the plan. He walks us through things, and each time, we are being prepared for something even greater. If we don’t pass, it’s okay. He keeps walking with us until we get it. Everything in your life is preparing you. There are just some places we can’t get to until we’ve learned some hard-fought lessons along the way. He uses those things to build our character. Even the pain we walk though prepares us to minister to others with an even greater compassion than we would have ever had before. As much as we would love to walk around the painful circumstances, God walks with us as we go through them.
  5. God has not forgotten you. This is important. My first year at my job, I wondered why I was here. I felt alone and isolated. I got a phone call one morning out of the blue from my friend, Rebecca. She said, “God wants you to know that He sees you and He has not forgotten you.” Wow! Exactly what I needed at just the right moment. I needed to hear that, and maybe you do, too? God sees you. He sees you struggling, searching for significance. He hears your questions. And He promises in His Word that he will never leave you. Ever.

Perhaps my own journey was that of God giving me my own heart check. As we wrestle with our dreams, it’s important to always allow God to check our motives. That time I spent working was greatly used by God. Some of the things I learned are things we are implementing now in our non-profit. And when I look back at those evenings where I felt so exhausted and asked God why, I can now see His faithfulness. He carried me, this I know. It reminds me when I’m feeling overwhelmed, that if He carried me then, I know He’ll do it again. And again. And again. That season of my life was fruitful and caused my faith to grow.

When I find myself dreaming in the wilderness, instead of wanting all the answers I’ve decided I just want God. I want Him more than answers. I want Him above and before all of my dreams. I want Him regardless of if I understand everything or not, because truth be told, I might never know the answers to all my whys, but I don’t need to.

What I need to remember is that He gives and He takes away, yet He is still good.

“For the Lord your God has blessed you in everything you have done. He has watched your every step through this great wilderness. During these forty years, the Lord your God has been with you, and you have lacked nothing.”
Deuteronomy 2:7 (NLT)

Shared by: Celeste Barnard

                                  

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Trusting Even in the Unknown

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The past several weeks have been a true walking out of my faith for me. I often can encourage others well, offer prayer, and support when someone is struggling. But when it comes time for me to listen to my own advice, I falter.

In September I was having some weird medical issues that brought me into my doctor’s office. A cyst was discovered on my only remaining ovary and it was determined that because of its abnormal walls, it needed to come out.

I spent a few awful weeks waiting for the surgery and essentially banned myself from Google because I was having mini panic attacks over all of the possibilities. I had stopped taking my fears to God and instead decided to turn to the wise-old internet to give me the answers I was seeking. It wasn’t comforting and I was wound up tight.

I realized that I had not stopped in all of the craziness to ask God to calm my spirit. Have you ever been there? Stuck in the crazy cycle of trying to manage your life and it just seems to be spinning further and further out of control?

It isn’t a fun place to be!

But, oh the peace that came when I stopped trying to control and anticipate the future and really opened my hands and my heart up and gave my fears over to God. I started by taking time each morning to write out my prayers in a prayer journal. It is something that I had done before but had stopped for a season. It was time to start again.

Writing out my prayers has always been good for me because it helps keep me focused and I can look back and see all the ways God has answered those prayers! Taking even 10 minutes out of my morning to spend time with God in this way was the perfect way to start my day.

In doing that simple practice and continually turning things back over to God, sometimes hour by hour, something started to change in my spirit.

Initially there was talk of possible hormone replacement therapy, which I was not fond of at age 42. So I started turning that over to God. I couldn’t control it if HRT was required…why worry about it now?!

Then when it looked as if there was a smaller possibility that the abnormal walls of the cyst could be indicative of cancer…I had something new to worry about. But once again I turned that worry over. We prayed openly as a family about the surgery and reminded our kids that God would take care of me, no matter what, so they didn’t need to worry.

The night before the surgery I felt such peace. I had no idea what the outcome would be, and honestly, I had steeled myself for the worst possible outcome, and in spite of that I was at peace about whatever would happen. I knew God would be walking with me. Hebrews 6:19 is one of my favorite verses… “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”

God has been my anchor my whole life…I just haven’t chosen to acknowledge it at all times.

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There are times I think that I need to be my own anchor, my own support. When this happens I find myself worried and stressed and cranky!! But when I let go of control, I find peace and contentment knowing God ‘s got this.

When I woke up from the surgery I discovered that everything went better than expected. The cyst was normal and it was able to be drained and removed without taking my ovary. All of the fears I could have held on to were unnecessary.

There are so many situations in my life where I have tried to be my own “boss.” I let God have some things, but not everything. I have done it where my dreaming journey is concerned as well. These past few weeks have been a reminder to me that there is a better way.

Trials will come. Whether it is in your personal life or your dream journey, it will never be smooth sailing. How we enter into those trials and walk through them is our choice. We can choose to have peace because God has an abundant supply of peace to offer us, or we can choose to white knuckle it through, pretending that we have it all under control.

I won’t always get it right, I know that. But I am hoping that when the next difficulty comes I will remember this situation and be ready to more quickly hand over control to God.

Are there some things in your life right now that you are trying to manage on your own? May I encourage you to open your hands and your hearts to turning those things over to God?

He is your anchor.

Shared by: Kristin Smith

Photo Credit: Sunny_ravin

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He Never Gives Up

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On Wednesdays we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your dreaming stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we are excited to welcome Maria Drayton to God-sized Dreams. She shares some encouragement and wisdom for those times we are facing trials. Thanks for being here today, Maria!

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We had just celebrated Labor Day. The weather was still hot and humid. My mom had called and asked me to stop by for a visit after church. She lived in Delaware and I stayed in Pennsylvania but because my move to PA had been recent, I still hadn’t found a new church and still drove to Delaware on Sundays for service. Often I stopped by my mother’s after church service so I did not think it was odd that she had requested the same this Sunday.

Service was exuberating as usual. I still was on my natural high of spending time in the Lord’s presence as I drove the two minutes to my mother’s house. When I walked in I noticed quickly she had been crying. I found that odd considering it was Sunday and I knew what a devoted Christian woman she was. Hadn’t she gone to church today? I thought to myself. All I noticed is that she was visibly upset. She asked me to come downstairs so that she could talk to me.

As she talked, my world began to close in around me. It seemed like the room was shrinking in size as she spoke quietly and explained to me that she had been diagnosed with Stage VI Colon Cancer. The condition was terminal. The rest of that day was a blur that I can’t remember even though I’ve tried.

After her diagnosis, I had resolved in my spirit that “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” John 11:4.

So, I committed myself to her and her daily needs of doctor’s appointments, cooking, cleaning, going to the pharmacy…whatever she needed, I did. I posted Scriptures of healing all over her house and hospital room when she stayed there.

I was standing on God’s Word and believed He would heal my mother.

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That was my belief and I was unwavering. I knew He would heal her and I waited for it.

Well, He didn’t heal her. She passed. It was only five months later that she was gone.

My whole world seemed to change in just six months. Only months before, things were great. I was learning all about the love of God, praising Him, walking with Him and just growing in His truths.

Now, I was mad.  I wasn’t just mad but angry, hurt, disappointed, and depressed. I felt like God abandoned me and all my hopes were gone. She had been my best friend, my mother, my father, my everything.

How could I believe God anymore? How could I trust Him after this?

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I had believed, I had prayed, I had my Pastor go and pray over her, and still she died. My faith had been shaken. I wasn’t sure what to believe anymore…all I knew is that I was angry. Angry at God.

I wish I had more paper and time to fully explain everything The Lord did for me in the months after and the years to come. He literally carried me through the following years. My faith had been shattered, my hope was all gone, and I had given up. But God didn’t give up on me. The Holy Spirit ensured me that if I got out of bed, He would do the rest. And He did.

Today it is fourteen years after that day. Today, I love Jesus more than before. Not because of what He did for me but who He has been to me. He has been my mother, father, sister, friend, husband, doctor, lawyer, mechanic, decorator, and builder, just everything. Scripture has become alive for me. He carried me for many years after until I was able to walk on my own again. He blessed me with a son a year after my mother died. I named him after my mom. I am also married now…another answered prayer.

Today I want to encourage the reader of this story. I don’t believe in coincidence, and if you are reading this, it was meant for you.

Wherever you are in life, please know that He has not forgotten you, knows where you are and will bring you to an expected end in Him. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (KJV)

God has truly given me beauty for ashes.

Isaiah 61:1-3 “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for The spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.”

Maria Drayton, originally from Seattle, Washington is a graduate of Washington State University and has a degree in Journalism with an emphasis in Communications.  Maria has traveled all over the United States but currently resides in Deptford, New Jersey with her husband and son. With a passion for the Lord, she has been serving and walking with Him since 1990 and desires to bring a young, fresh, new look into intimacy with God.  Since 2001, she attends Bethel Deliverance Church and desires to begin a women’s ministry for young women to learn to apply God’s Word in their daily lives.

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Do you have a God-sized Dream story to tell? We’d love to have you share your journey with us!
Visit our Guest Post Submissions page to learn more!

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God-Centered Dreams

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On Wednesdays we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your dreaming stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we are excited to welcome Vicki Cottingham to God-sized Dreams! She shares the important reminder that, even as distractions and frustrations can often happen when we dream, it’s so important to keep our dreams centered on God. Thank you for being here today, Vicki!

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Do you have a dream, a desire, something that you believe God has planted deep in your soul? It’s often something that would seem to be impossible to accomplish in your own strength. Something way beyond your own abilities and giftings. And it’s something you know will only be fulfilled if God does it through you.

The dream God has sown in my life is to serve Him through my writing and my ministry to women.

However, as is often the case, there is always a time gap between the promises God gives and the…

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And waiting is so hard.

Over time, God has been showing me I’ve been holding too tightly to the dreams He’s given me. When I hold them too tightly, I find I compare myself with others. I see them living out their dream, and I want it for myself, too. I become jealous and envious, frustrated that my dream has not yet become my reality. I then become dissatisfied and discontented with the life God has given me.

So, God is teaching me not to hold my dreams too tightly. He’s not telling me to give up on my dreams, but He is telling me to give them over to Him. He wants me to hold onto them with open hands.

God is showing me that my focus needs to change so that rather than being so taken up with what I don’t yet have and comparing my life with others, I am taken up with my relationship with God…with having Him at the centre of my life and making sure my dreams are God-centred.

When my perspective is God-ward rather than toward others, I see just what he Has done and is doing in my life. I see that whilst my dreams may not yet be fulfilled in the way I long for them to be, I am still able to live them out to some degree. With God’s help, I use the gift of writing He has given me to serve others. With His help, I recognise and appreciate that in small ways, I do have opportunities to minister to other women.

I am learning to give my dreams over to God.

When my dreams are placed back in God’s hands and under his control I know they are in far better…

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I am learning to find true contentment in my relationship with God. My contentment is found in making myself available and obedient to Him.

I long to get to the place where I can say with Paul,

I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. 
Philippians 4:11-13 (NLT)


Vicki Cottingham lives in the South East of England.  She has a love for God’s Word, studying it and sharing it with others through the written and spoken word.  Her joy of writing led her to writing a regular devotional blog called Hope for Today. Last year one of her dreams became real when she self-published her devotional book: “Dear Friend…52 Weekly Devotions to Encourage, Challenge and Inspire”, available here, which is based on her devotional blogs.

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Your Sweet Spot Matters

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#godsizedreams

But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ –Matthew 5:37

When the bright red bubble of happiness popped up on my Facebook notifications, I eagerly clicked. Join my event, it urged! Such and such for sale, come over for appetizers and shopping.

I immediately clicked “Can’t Go.” It wasn’t because it was sales. Being in business myself, I appreciate these kinds events. I’ve put on these kinds of events.

It was the thought of entering a home I’d never been to and mingling with people I didn’t know.

I knew it wasn’t my comfort zone. Nope. Not going.Click To Tweet

Until my classic overthinking kicked in: It would be nice to get out of the house, converse with other moms, and put responsibilities aside for a couple of hours. If nothing else, I could catch up with the few ladies I did know. Maybe I’d even enjoy meeting new people!

I went.

As I approached the front door, my nerves ramped up. Knock, or just enter? Introduce myself, or start browsing the products? My confidence plummeting, I entered and smiled weakly at a few ladies as I surveyed the room. Walking into the kitchen, I found the hostess and the the sales distributor, a friend.

She explained the layout of the products, and my head began to spin. All the ladies surrounded me seemed at ease and thrilled to shop. They were familiar with the products and eager to add to their stash.

This was not the picture I had in my head. One friend had come early and left before I got there. The others I knew were rightly engaged in hosting. I knew the small talk starters and other tricks to socializing, but it all made me want to run and hide. I knew how I functioned well, and this was not it.

***

What’s your week look like? I texted. Want to grab coffee?

I entered Panera excited to grab some comfort food and catch up with my friend.

Her ready smile and warm bear hug set a pleasant, inviting tone for the visit. She asked about my family, recent activities, known challenges, and I did the same for her. We laughed as we caught up on school woes, kids’ antics, and upcoming fun activities, and we brainstormed and sympathized with each other’s stresses and struggles.

I left feeling energized and uplifted.

Two events, two vastly different experiences… They are not parallel situations, but they confirmed something important for me.

I thrive in one on one situations that skip small talk. I know this about myself. There was a time when one on ones triggered anxiety in me too, but never so much as large groups.

At the first event, I was trying to thrive in a situation I knew was not in my strengths. Was there anything inherently wrong with going to the first event? Not at all! It wasn’t entirely unpleasant for me either. It was simply an exercise in not trusting my intuition, not honoring who I am, and caving to the “shoulds.” You know the ones:

  • I should be able to do this.
  • I should do the hard thing.
  • I should stretch myself.
  • I should be stronger.
  • I should be better.
  • I should be doing what everyone else is.
  • I should be there to support my friend.

Striving for personal growth is a good thing, but focusing too much attention on managing weaknesses keeps us out of the sweet spot of where God calls us to be and can lead to discouragement.

God doesn’t call us to be a nervous wreck.Click To Tweet

He calls us to the freedom that is found in abundant life with Him. Living in that freedom means recognizing who He made us to be and spending most of our energy there. Our unique giftings, interests, and even some of our preferences can point us to our God-sized dreams, and we progress in those dreams when we live in the authenticity of how He made us.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. –Galatians 5:1

What “shoulds” are holding you back?

Under what conditions do you thrive?

Shared by: Mandy Mianecki

                                           

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The Dreams We Don’t See Coming

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I’ve been writing at this site now for over three years, which feels like a long time. Maybe it is?

And over those years and in all the God-sized Dreaming that’s happened in my heart, I’ve shared a lot with you about the dreams I have that fit within my comfort zone. They mostly involve writing, parenting, running, drinking coffee, and the occasional crazy adventure like swinging from a vine in the middle of a Sumatran jungle.

For whatever reason, those things…they’re me. I’ve let them become part of what defines me.

But lately…other than parenting and the coffee that is necessary to actually BE a mama…those dreams seem to have taken a backseat to everything else…possibly the very last seat in a very large bus. Between life with a baby boy and keeping up with a first grader (now-second grader…what?!) I haven’t had a lot of time or energy or mental capacity to chase down anything other than my ten month old son who thinks it’s awesome to use his hulk-like abilities to pull baby gates off walls. 😉

My confession? Words have been few and adventures even fewer.

But several months ago, an opportunity was plopped into my lap…one I didn’t see coming and one that didn’t fit into my comfort zone at all.

I’d gone with my daughter’s class to see a musical production of Elf, Jr. After the show, I was standing in the lobby talking with another mom and one of the teachers, who are both in charge of the Summer Youth Theater program at our church each year. They were talking about how much fun it would be to do this show…and ever the extrovert who doesn’t think things through before she says them (maybe we call that impulsive?!) I piped up, Let me know if I can help you out!

And I totally meant it. I love making music. Drama comes (more than) a bit naturally. I was an art teacher for a year, so there’s some creative talent somewhere in there. And, really, I just love seeing a show come together…all the parts of it. It’s so cool!

So I offered and figured they’d just smile, nod, and say thanks. Instead, they exchanged a look, and I might have panicked a bit.

Um, Mel?

Yeah?

Would you like to be the art teacher and design the sets for it? We need someone.

If I’d been sitting down, I would have fallen off my chair. Instead I smiled and said, Sure!

And then I stopped to think about what I’d actually agreed to in a single word.

Over the months since that conversation took place, I’ve done a lot of planning. I’ve read through the script multiple times, sat through tryouts, made notes, lists, and sketches, researched prices of things. I’ve watched (and sung along with) the animated Elf musical more times than you’d care to know.

Let’s just say my life has been very, very SparkleJollyTwinkleJingley. 😀

I’ve done so much planning, but can I confess something?

Every time I think about that first morning of camp…coming up in just two weeks (pray for me?)…my heart races a little. There’s some fear, tucked somewhere in there.

I know I can plan and plan and be as ready as ever, but I can’t predict how things will go. It’s all new territory, and I just have to take it and pray for His strength to do the best I can.

And right now, my best is two things. First, choose to hand it all over to God instead of freak out; and second, decide what I need to do today and do it.

And today, I’ll be hopping over to Home Depot to buy some backdrops, and you can bet I’ll be covered with sky blue and black paint before the week is over. 😉

And then? Well, I’ll tackle what’s next and remember that sometimes we just have to let go and put what we have into it all. I’m all about giving something everything I have, but it won’t do me any good to add fear to that and let it reside in my heart and take me to places of worry that I don’t need to go.

And maybe…just maybe I’ll find out that I love this whole thing…the creating, the imagining, the unknown that comes with being part of constructing something beautiful. I’m hoping so.

Designing sets…it’s not really a dream that was ever on my radar.

But sometimes God gives us dreams we don’t see coming to show us what we can do through Him.

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So here’s to a new adventure…and lots and LOTS of painting. 😉  Let me know if you’ve got any tips!

Shared by: Mel Schroeder

                                                 

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A Mother’s Wisdom

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On Wednesdays we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your dreaming stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we welcome back Regan Seward to God-sized Dreams. She shares some important encouragement and wisdom for moms…but really, we can all learn something from these words and reminders. Thanks for being here today, Regan!

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The pressure of “mom perfection” kept me from sharing with others what they may have needed to hear.

I feared that I would be judged by others, but the truth is I am my biggest critic. I would beat myself up if I didn’t feel that I had given my children my very best, but the reality is they need to learn that life isn’t about perfection but about redemption.

I wish I could go back and tell my twenty-two year old self that the days I surrendered my exhausted and worn out momma heart were meant to be shared. If given the chance, I would be honest about the hard days.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2 (NIV)

This made me realize how much time I wasted on what I thought a “good mom” should look like instead of teaching my children that grace and humility is the key to a fulfilled life.

I should have shown them that there is no shame in allowing ourselves the grace we need to overcome a bad day or a tough situation.

When we want others to think we have it all together we are really just feeding our own pride.

When we show up busted and broken we give God the space to do His job in us and through us.

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Being a mom is one of the bravest most challenging jobs there is, but if we choose to only share the victories we are setting our daughters up to fail.

On most Sunday mornings we would show up to church and I would see other mothers with their put-together outfits and their smiling, well-behaved children and think, What is wrong with me?

I was far from having it all together and my kids were usually arguing over who got the front seat on the way home.

But, did I want others to see this mess of a momma on a Sunday morning? No! So I would pull myself together, put a smile on my face and ask my children to do the same.

My pride was keeping me from showing my daughters that if you can’t walk into church on a Sunday morning a mess then there is probably no place on this earth you can.

As I think about what I would do different I would say something like this…

If I could go back to the days when you were little, I wouldn’t try so hard to make mothering you look easy.

I would show you my true feelings on the days when I was falling short.

I would let you see that perfection isn’t something we should strive to achieve, rather showing honesty makes the realness of life make sense.

I wouldn’t have made lame excuses for my inability to keep it all together, and I would show you that when our hearts begin to unravel it is grace that keeps the seams of us together.

I would share with you that the real reason I was hiding behind the bathroom door that day was because I was drowning in my own holy mess.

You see, baby girl, on those days I failed you. Not because I yelled words that stung when I lost my patience, but I failed when I didn’t let you hear me asking God for the wisdom to be a better mom.

I should have told you that time spent on your knees is NOT a sign of weakness but a picture into a momma’s heart trying to find the grace for a do-over.

I didn’t fail you when I forgot it was picture day again…but I failed by trying to show you that life should look all put together.

I should have told you that life is messy some days and I would fail. You, too, will fail, and I assure you life won’t fall apart when you do.

Don’t waste time on chasing after a perfection that doesn’t exist, but rather looking for the opportunity to share humility with others.

This world that we live in will try and convince you that the girl next door or the woman in the next office has it all figured out, but if you will be brave enough to let her see you fail, God will show you that your struggles aren’t much different than hers.


Regan Seward is wife to Russ and mother to three wonderful kids…Bailey (20), Macie (17), and Cole (15). She and her husband own their own insulation business and work together every day. She strives to live in freedom from her past and encourage others who are trying to overcome guilt from their failures and mistakes. She knows firsthand what it feels like to fail in life but hopes to share with others the only true way to overcome it: by living in God’s grace. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin. Psalm 32:5 (ESV)

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Do you have a God-sized Dream story to tell? We’d love to have you share your journey with us!
Visit our Guest Post Submissions page to learn more!

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When The Pressure Of Your Dream Paralyzes You

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On Wednesdays we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your dreaming stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we are excited to welcome Sarah Beth Marr to God-sized Dreams; she shares with us the reminder that as long as we are living out our dream for God, we are enough. Thanks so much for being here, Sarah!

______________________

The audience was as black as night.

All I could see from the stage was the bright lights of the exit signs staring back at me. The tops of the musicians heads and the tips of their bows going back and forth reminded me how so very live this performance was. I was front and center, dancing a ballet I had dreamed of dancing. There in my pointe shoes, pink tights, and pink jeweled costumed, one moment I was dancing my heart out, and one moment I drew a complete blank. All the movements and musical cues I had rehearsed over and over through months of preparation suddenly left my brain as I honed in on this one thought,

I am not good enough.

In that moment, I feared that my director would suddenly realize that he had made a horrible mistake in casting me as this front and center gal in this beautiful ballet. I suddenly felt the pressure of living (or dancing in this instance) up to something that I simply could not live up to. I was aware that I was surrounded by four other beautiful dancers who were more experienced than I was. They had been doing this for years and they were confident. Here I was, this new girl, who was overwhelmed at the pressure to be good enough at the worst possible moment.

The choreography did come back to me. I had one little slip where I nearly fell, but thankfully after one of our exits, I had time to gather myself in the darkness of the wings. The tears were sitting in the corners of my eyes, you know the kind, that if someone asks, “Are you okay?” you don’t answer because you know the tears will fall and not stop. A short verse that my sweet mom had used to encourage me recently slipped into my heart,

“He will not let your foot slip – He who watches over you will not slumber.”
Psalm 121:3 (NLT)

It was enough solid footing for me to go out there on our next entrance, finish the piece, and actually enjoy the rest of the dance.

Maybe you have had moments of not-good-enough-ness too.

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Maybe in this dream of yours that you are following, you look around and you question why you’re even trying. You see others who are more confident, more qualified, and more experienced.

Me too.

I have felt the weight of not-enough-ness as I pursue my dreams and callings in more ways than I have time to go into. But we don’t have to live in that pressure cooker, standard-chasing kind of way. Looking back there are a few truths that I wish I had held onto before I planted my feet on the stage that evening:

  1. The pressure and weight of not-enough-ness paralyzes us. Just as I went blank on stage in that moment, when we get tangled in the web of living up to some invincible standard, our dream or calling stops in its tracks. We can’t breathe or enjoy our dream or calling because we are so suffocated by our feelings of not being enough.
  2. When we recognize when we are living in that standard-chasing stance, we can allow that to be an opportunity to pull us into God’s heart. God isn’t measuring our performance. He simply wants us to enjoy our dance. I had lost the joy of dancing in that moment on the stage because I was so caught up in the pressure. God does not want us to be caught up in the pressure, the performance, or anything else in our dreaming. He wants us to be caught up in Him.
  3. From there we are propelled forward in our dream. The moment we release the pressure to the One who gave us our dream, is the moment we begin to truly enjoy it all again. The dreaming becomes an enjoyable dance with the Lord again.

Maybe your dream has become more of a grind than a dance lately. Maybe you feel paralyzed by the pressure and defeated by the weight of feeling not good enough.

Today, invite the One who watches over your life, into those feelings. Pull in close to His heart.

And from that place, let Him propel you forward into your dream.

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Dance on!


Sarah Beth Marr is a wife, mom, writer and speaker. Sarah also danced professionally as a ballet dancer and now uses her experiences in the dance world to encourage women in their own dance through life through her writing and speaking. Sarah’s first book is due to release in January of 2018. You can connect with her at her website, on Facebook, and on Instagram.

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