Meet Our New GSD Contributors!

July 1, 2016 By GodSizedDreamers 3 Comments

Happy July Friends!

We can hardly believe that we are halfway through 2016! Where does time go these days? 🙂

We have an exciting announcement and can’t wait for you to meet some wonderful new dreamers that have committed to sharing their hearts with us here at God-sized Dreams. Each new writer comes with their own unique voice and story and we know that they will bless you with their words. Officially they will start posting a little later this month, but for now we wanted to share their lovely faces and their bios so that you could get to know them better! And if you haven’t checked out our Meet the Sailors page recently please do! Alecia has put countless hours (and maybe a few tears) into sprucing up our page for us and we love it!

Please join us in welcoming these dreamers to our team!

Laura Rath

Laura Rath writes to encourage women in their walk with Christ. She is a wife, mother, writer, blogger and works in the church ministry. Laura shares stories of her faith journey on her blog, Laura Rath ~ Journey in Faith, and recently experienced one of her God-sized dreams when she had the opportunity to speak at three women’s events, with another one planned for later this year.

Lovelle Gerth Myers

Lovelle Gerth-Myers is a writer, speaker, life coach, and encourager who has seen God do amazing things in the most impossible circumstances. She is passionate about helping others deepen their relationship with the Lord by using her story to help people truly see that we serve a limitless God. Lovelle lives with her husband David and her parents Holley and Mark Gerth in the South.

Natalie Joy

Natalie Joy currently lives in Atlanta, GA where she moved 5 years ago for warm weather and a cute boy (she married that cute boy a little over a year and a half ago). He has been her very best friend and biggest cheerleader pushing her daily to dream bigger and pursue her God-sized dreams. After 15 years in the corporate world coaching, speaking and training, Natalie took a leap of faith to start,Defining Your Joy. A company that works exclusively with women who have a dream but lack the motivation, accountability or strategy to make their dream a profitable reality. Her company comes along side these women daily through One-on-One coaching, Virtual Group Coaching, and Workshops. Natalie’s passion doesn’t stop there. A portion of every dollar brought into Defining Your Joy goes to help women that have overcome situations on trafficking all over the world. These incredible women are learning to dream again or maybe for the first time.

Karen Sipps

Karen Sipps has been in love with writing since she was a little girl. She is the creator of christianbedtimestories.com and the author of More Than Sales: Seeking God’s Heart for your Direct Sales Business. She encourages women and girls of all ages to love and embrace themselves exactly the way God created them — God-Sized Dreams and all! She blogs from the heart (and sometimes the funny bone) at Perhaps This.

Welcome sisters, we are so glad to have you here!

Graphic Courtesy of Holley Gerth

Establishing your Tribe

June 27, 2016 By Kristin Smith 6 Comments

If there is anything that I have learned about walking this dreaming journey, it would be that you MUST have a tribe to help you along the way.

Who is in our Tribe may differ for each of us.

For me, I have found a wonderful support system of women who are also on a similar journey. Brought together initially by the God-sized Dream Team, I found myself surrounded by women who seemed to “get” me.

The only negative? We all live so far away! 🙂

Thankfully we live in an age where technology helps the miles seem less of a hindrance, and things like Google Hangouts and Voxer easily connect us as often as we wish.

We can’t walk this road alone. It is too easy to be discouraged, and we need to surround ourselves with faithful friends who can be honest with us, and yet know just the right ways to encourage us. So how do you go about establishing a tribe?

The first step is often the most scary. Connecting.

I am an introvert through and through. I don’t trust people easily, but once I know you, I am all in. So how does one connect? For me it happened through the online experience of joining a book launch team. I would encourage you to first start in your local community, if you can. One on one time is so valuable, being able to connect with someone in your hometown or at your church is such a gift. At the time in 2012 I was new to my community, and way too scared to reach out in person. That’s why initially the online experience worked for me!

Now, several years later, I am also involved in a local bible study at my church and through that have established some friendships with women I can trust. So know that no way is perfect and you need to find what works best for you. The important point is to look for opportunities to connect.

Second, and also scary, is we need to be willing to be vulnerable.

When I first”met” the women on our book launch team I was cautious. I shared only what was necessary. I didn’t feel safe enough to be vulnerable. But at some point I realized that my need for community was greater than the fear I felt about being “found out.” I wanted everyone to think that I had it all together….but the reality was I didn’t. As we connect with others and begin to build friendships we become ready to drop the facades and start being real.

There is freedom in reaching that point. The place where you can be honest, and you find women who circle around you and encourage you despite your failures.

It didn’t come immediately for me, and it really was a result of my unwillingness to go there. But today I have a group of women that I can be honest with and they love me regardless of my mistakes. What a gift that has proven to be.

So you have found some women to connect with, started to be vulnerable….what’s next? Establish a prayer group.

I can’t emphasize enough how important prayer is in the dreaming journey.

I am reading through the book Fervent again for the 4th time. If you haven’t read it you need to. In the book it outlines ways to be more strategic about your prayer life. There are so many areas that we need prayer in as we chase God’s dreams for our lives. And we can’t do it alone.

I have a group of 3 other women that I have a “Prayer Voxer Chain” with. We mostly share the “big” prayers on this chain. Things that come up that seem extra urgent. When a message comes through we can trust that at least one other woman has seen the vox and will be in immediate prayer over the situation. Often times I don’t talk with these women except to share requests, offer prayer for their requests and celebrate the answered prayers we see as they come, but I would count them as some of my closest friends. We live in all parts of the country, but we unite in a common mission. To support and encourage one another in prayer.

Finally find that one person that you can really be encouraged by and be an encouragement to.

One of the biggest gifts of establishing a tribe has been a friendship that has developed with one of my dreamer sisters. While we live miles apart, we stay connected every day. She is the person that I can go to when life is feeling crazy. When I need advice, she will offer it. But always with the preface that I should pray about it and ultimately seek God’s direction. And she has spoken truth in love over me in those moments when I am choosing a path that isn’t God’s.

We genuinely celebrate each other’s accomplishments and support our respective dreams. She has become a safe place for me and I strive to do the same for her. Her friendship is invaluable to me and has developed over the years because I connected, became willing to be vulnerable and trusted her with my prayer requests. It is one of the many gifts that my tribe has been in my life.

God created us to be in relationship with one another.

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Walking the path of a dreamer can be a lonely place, but it doesn’t have to be. Committing to seeking and finding a tribe that can support you throughout your journey is one of the best ways to set yourself up for success. And the rewards you will gain in the process will be greater than you had ever hoped or imagined.

Shared By: Kristin Smith

Photo Credit: Allume Fun 2013

The Ups And “Downs” Of Collaboration

June 20, 2016 By Kim Hyland 1 Comment

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and had no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
~Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

When I decided to make my dream of an annual women’s retreat a reality, I knew I couldn’t do it alone. So I prayed for friends who wanted to help . . . and waited.

Lo and behold, one day I took a mental inventory of the women in my life and discovered God had answered my prayer. One would make an awesome administrator. Another was the queen of hospitality. One already led worship for her church. And so on.

As I prayerfully (and I do mean prayer-fully) asked my friends to join me, they enthusiastically embraced my dream and together we made Winsome happen.

Collaborating with these women was one of the best and hardest decisions I’ve ever made.

Here are a few reasons why:

While we’ve yet to need each other for bodily warmth, my team and I have had plenty of opportunities to pick one another up after a fall. Our four years of working together have provided many ups and downs for all of us both as a team and as individuals. We’ve had each other’s backs through it all.

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Proximity leads to conflict.

I’ve never been good at conflict. When I smell it, I back away slowly.

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But as a committed member (not to mention the leader) of our team, I had to stay.

Early on, I told the team we needed to put on our steel-toed boots because we were going to step on each other’s toes. Working so closely, it was just a matter of time.

Our team has had to handle the inevitable conflicts of collaboration with grace and maturity. There have been hurt feelings, frustrations, and hard conversations.

Staying is hard! But by working through conflict, we have grown both relationally and spiritually.

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We’ve also learned to appreciate each other’s perspectives and strengths and bear patiently with one another’s faults.

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Collaboration knits hearts. Even though life circumstances have changed and some of us may not have as much connection as we used to, our shared experience has given us treasured memories that keep us connected.

I’m reminded of Paul’s comparison of believers to a body, the Body of Christ!

For just as the body is one and has many members,
and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. . .
But as it is, God arranged the members of the body,
each one of them,
as he chose.
~1 Corinthians 12:12; 18

It’s not coincidence that these women are in my life. Together we are creating an event to encourage other women in their dreams and relationship with Christ and His body. Every part of our team is vital just like every member of the body. God, in His wisdom and love, has brought us together.

That is no small thing.

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As a mom, there are few things that thrill me like seeing my kids work together. I’ve exclaimed this verse to them on many such occasions: “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity. ~Psalm 133:1

When we collaborate for the advancement of His kingdom, I imagine our Father is thrilled as well!

With so much gratitude to the Winsome Leadership Team: Clare, Emily, Hilary, Debbie, Julie, Missy, René, Stephanie, Tee, and Wendy.

Shared by: Kim Hyland

Letting Others Pray You Through Your Dreams

June 8, 2016 By Jennifer Hand 6 Comments

I believe in the power of prayer. I love that we can talk to God.

We can talk to God. And He talks back.

The God who spoke the stars into being speaks to us.

He bends His ear to listen to us and our dreams. Our fears. Our questions. Our joys. Our deep sorrows.

Sometimes I can forget the powerful gift of asking others to pray me through my God sized dreams.

Asking our community to pray us through our dreams allows them to be involved in our dreams.

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The Lord has been teaching me lately about the power of asking others to pray for me as I walk out the dreams God has for me.

Truth be told, it can feel vulnerable to ask for prayer. I do not want to appear needy. I can allow the enemy to whisper to my heart that it is selfish to ask others to pray for me.

I can start thinking about real prayer requests like cancer, prodigal children and divorce.

How can I ask for prayer for my dreams?

Then I am reminded that Paul often asked people to join Him in his ministry through their ministry of prayer.

At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison—Colossians 4:3 ESV

Recently I was getting ready to follow one of my God-sized dreams, doing trauma mitigation and debriefing for adults and children who had been through the recent 7.8 earthquake in Ecuador. I found out one week before that God was opening the door for me to go. This was a God-sized dream as part of my ministry dreams involve ministering internationally.

I was busy making preparations. Getting ready for the program we were going to lead there. Packing. Getting a suitcase full of crayons to take to the children as we led them through art therapy.

In the midst of my preparations, I felt very impressed to invite others to pray me through this dream journey.

I was almost hesitate as I asked my church for prayer. The Sunday before I left, several from my church community gathered around and prayed. It was an incredible powerful moment.

Inviting others to pray invited them on this journey of faith with me.

When we allow others to pray for our dreams, their faith and our faith grows.

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While in Ecuador, I saw God move in huge ways.

I also literally saw the earth move as we were in three big earthquakes. In each of those earthquakes, I had such a peace. I sensed God so close.

When I closed my eyes I pictured those who had prayed for me. I felt their prayers still.

While in Ecuador, our family also experienced an emotional earthquake as my twin sister miscarried her twins. It was devastating.

Those I had gone to minister to in Ecuador as I lived out my God-sized dream, ministered to me. They laid hands and prayed for my family.

Friend, do you have a prayer team around you and your God-sized dream? If not, can I encourage you to begin building that team. Be bold. Let others know how they can pray you through.

Their prayers for your dreams can build up faith in what God is doing in their own dreams.

Stirring up one another in love and good deeds.

How can we pray for you?

Shared By: Jennifer Hand

Leaving A Dreaming Legacy

December 14, 2015 By Mandy Mianecki 1 Comment

“Can I use these, Mom?”

She cups the empty containers in her hands: a hot chocolate tin, a glass jar once home to bath salts, and a salsa jar. She’s envisioning Duck Tape treasures. Probably a craft sale extravaganza too.

She sets them down amidst a stash of purses, flowers, headbands, and bracelets…a Duck Tape bonanza.

“What can I make from this?” is a FAQ for this twelve year old. She transforms jars. Covers folders. Repurposes milk cartons. Creativity oozes from her, a trait I’m eager to see translate into her adult life.

***

“I’m going to be an art teacher when I grow up. Or an architect who builds her buildings,” her sister says.

And I see it…as she follows her dad around asking, “Can I help you put it together, Dad?” Whether it’s a cabinet, bookshelf, or home repair, she’ll do it. How the pieces fit together makes sense to her. She’ll draw it on paper or put it together in 3D.

Whatever her future holds, it will be hands on.

***

“It’s okay, Sweetie,” sister #2 consoles her toddler brother. She gently wraps her arms around him and squeezes. She’s perfected the combination of snorts and facial contortions that will elicit giggles from him. They bound around the house as buddies.

He misses her when she’s gone all day at school.

She extends her snuggles to me, too. Her most frequent statement reveals her tender nature: I love you, Mom!

***

As for her brother…it’s stack a thing, then knock down. Fill it up, then empty it. Open it, then close it. Press the button. Dump it out. Climb on it. Explore, explore, explore.

It’s hard to guess what he’s thinking at three years old, but it’s clear that curiosity drives him. My bet is that his chosen occupation will either be engineer or demolitionist.

I won’t lie. These endearing interests and talents include their downsides…mostly messes. But, it’s worth it to witness their God-given personalities shine through. They’re driven to pursue their own interests, and they know what they’re good at.

Letting them explore those gifts and interests gives both of us hints at what God might have in store for their futures.

Letting kids explore their gifts and interests gives us hints at God’s plan for their futures.

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It’s the starting point for their dreams.

As much as I reasonably can, I encourage their giftings. “What do you think you’d like to do when you grow up?” is my FAQ to them.

I smile when my seven year old answers with “waitress,” knowing she simply enjoys eating at restaurants and serving others.

Their dreams begin with learning who God made them to be. Giving children the freedom to explore the unique qualities God planted in them is to gift them with permission to dream God-sized dreams.

Gift your children with permission to dream God-sized dreams.

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***

What unique qualities do you see in your children?

How do you encourage them to dream?

Shared by: Mandy Mianecki

Where Two or More are Gathered

October 16, 2015 By Kelli Stuart 5 Comments

“I hear you like to take tea.”

Her voice came through the phone, warm and sweet, and I couldn’t help but smile, instantly loving the woman on the other end of the line. A woman I’d never met. A woman who would become one of my dearest friends.

When I met Wendy I was a twenty-three year old dreamer, and she was the friend I didn’t know I was missing. We met several times a week for a year, both of us writers, performers, and dreamers. We were totally different, and strikingly similar. And the partnership grew despite the fact that time and distance separated us physically.

She now lives in California, and I live in Florida. We live 2,500 miles apart, and yet the Lord has lovingly and graciously knit together this friendship because God loves dreamers, and He loves to see His children in fellowship.

In those early days, when Wendy and I were both newly married and without children, we spent a lot of time dreaming about the future. We dreamt up companies and businesses, books, speaking engagements, and all the many ways that we would work together. Because even then we understood and saw that we were better as a pair.

And now, seven children and fourteen years later, we’re seeing the fruit of all those years of dreaming, the seeds of hope planted in each of our hearts, watered and grown through long talks on the phone, weekends together, and a lot of time spent in prayer together.

There is power in the midst of gathered dreamers. (<==== Click to tweet)

Ideas take shape, and ultimately take flight when two or more come together, and they dare to dream. Of course, every one of us is capable of dreaming on our own, and seeing those dreams come to fruition, but dream chasing is much less intimidating when done with a friend.

That’s why we gather here, in this simple online space. Because we see you, and we believe in your dreams, and we believe that dreaming with a group is powerful. But there’s an important component to this shared dreaming.

You must actually share your dream.

It’s scary to share a dream. I used to be terrified of the idea. I thought that it would be better for me to just quietly pursue it on my own, then on day step out of the shadows and yell TA-DA! Look at what I did.

But it’s lonely in the shadows, and when the dreaming gets tough, and the road is rocky, we’re bound to quit if there’s no one there to grab us by the hand and guide us through the rough parts.

Dream chasing is hard. I had a mentor who used to say that “Worthy goals are rarely ever easily achieved.” It’s true, isn’t it? Anything worth doing is going to be hard. But it sure doesn’t have to be lonely.

So my challenge to all you dreamers today is this: Step out of the shadows! Share your dream with someone, preferably someone who will commit to helping you accomplish it. Whether they help through prayer, encouragement, making coffee runs, or actually working alongside you, know that having a friend or loved one step on to the path with you makes the journey much more fun.

So dream on, friends, and do it together.

“For where two or more are gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” Matthew 18:20

Shared By: Kelli Stuart

Surround Yourself With Encouragers

June 22, 2015 By Mandy Mianecki 16 Comments

I’ve spent too much energy on my third circle—the most draining, discouraging, and soul-sucking of circles.

It’s here that the naysayers dwell. The pessimists. The fearful. The broken who break others.

Too often, I wrongly believe that if I try hard enough or say just the right thing, I can win the love and approval of those people. I fret, plan, and over-explain—to no avail. I leave conversations feeling not only rejected, but deeply inadequate and often depressed.

Circle two, however, is different. In this circle are people who listen to us dreamers. While they may not be ready to leap into dreams of their own, they offer no resistance to our dream-chasing. Witnessing us pursue ours may one day propel them to pursue dreams of their own.

But the first circle is where it’s at! In this circle are people who ask you, “What are your goals, and how can I help you achieve them?” They are mentors, those who have gone ahead and seen their own dreams realized. They are cheerleaders. They remind us:

…whatever is true, whatever is noble,

whatever is right, whatever is pure,

whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—

if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—

think about such things.

—Philippians 4:8

Circle one is the sweet spot in dreaming and in life. The people in this circle breathe life into you and extend the hands and feet of Jesus. They are your bucket-fillers. Your trailblazers.

My friend Jennifer asks me exactly what I wrote above, “What are your goals, and how can I help you achieve them?” She is a business mentor for me, and she is in my first circle.

When I told my friend Angela that I was starting a business, she replied, “Wow! You are spicy! You set out to do big things and you do them.” I never realized that about myself. Angela showed me the truth about who I am and cheered me on. She is in my first circle.

When I was in the raw, messy depths of my healing journey, Nikki said, “If you need to tell someone your whole story, I’d be honored to listen. I have broad shoulders.” Nikki is in my first circle.

I am blessed. When I choose to surround myself with the encouragers in my first circle, I thrive. I learn. I grow. (<====Click to tweet.)

I also choose differently when I take counsel from my first circlers. They inspire me to consider what I truly feel is right in any given decision—instead of what will hush the noisy opinions of those in circle three. For instance, am I living and giving generously, as I claim to value—or am I pinching pennies in fear of being without? Am I fitting into someone else’s mold, or am I living authentically as God created me?

It’s a whole new level of dream-chasing and freedom to draw circles and press forward accordingly.

Draw your circles. Focus your energy on your first circle. Be amazed at where God takes you. (<====Click to tweet.)

Then be a first circler to others.

***

Who is in your first circle, and how do they encourage you?

What can you do to be a first circler for someone else?

***

*Three Circles adapted from Melissa Poepping’s audio, The Three Most Important Circles You Can Draw.

Shared By: Mandy Mianecki

Photo credit: Frans

Finding a Mentor for Your Dream

June 8, 2015 By Laurie Wallin 12 Comments

We’re all about dreaming here: Listening for God’s vision, taking first steps, living dreams out, and how to make it through the bumps in the road or the long waits on the way.

As we dream, there’s one more crucial piece: we need mentoring relationships. (<====Click to Tweet)

Before we get into this topic, I have an admission: I’m a movie junkie. I’m the one in the line on opening night for any movie with a decent metacritic.com score.

There’s a new movie coming out soon—“The Intern” with Robert DeNiro and Anne Hathaway. She’s a high-powered dreamer and founder of a big company in a big city. As part of their give-back-to-the-world company culture, she authorizes a “senior internship” program designed not for college or high school seniors, but seniors in life.

Enter DeNiro as the intern, who, according to the preview, brings a sense of class and experience to his slouchy shirt-untucked hipster coworkers. But the best part—and what matters for us as dreamers—is that he becomes a trusted mentor and friend to Hathaway, who finds she doesn’t have to be an island to succesfully achieve her dreams.

It’s a sweet premise. And a tough subject.

Why is forming mentoring relationships so hard?

Seasoned people (50’s and over) wonder what they have to offer. I have a friend who has led women’s ministries, housed countless college kids and mentored them in life and through school, marriage and now parenting. And after all this time she still falls prey to our society’s youth-worshipping culture and wonders whether her experience is relevant to younger women these days.
Young people (40’s and under) don’t know how to pursue mentoring. We are so wrapped up in the daily grind—getting the kids ready for school, the laundry done, the dog walked and the work deadlines fulfilled—that we barely have (make) time pursuing friendships with our age-peers, let alone women in a different season of life.

How can both groups bridge the gap and invite dream-mentoring relationships?

1. Realize we need each other.

Because we really do. Look at Paul and Timothy, or Elijah and Elisha in scripture. They needed each other—the more seasoned one to bring a sense of continued purpose and value as they share their wisdom and experiences, and the younger to gain confidence and feel the support of someone who’s trod the path before. The learning and experiencing goes both ways and we both have much to give one another.

2. Have realistic expectations.

Not every relationship is going to be a good fit for one, the other or even both people. Time, personalities, spiritual values, and temperament are all variables. In my search for mentors over the past 20 years, I’ve begun four different relationships and they’ve all had their own unique upsides and downsides.

My first mentor, originally my high school yearbook advisor, ignited and invested in my writing. Perhaps he might have been a mentor still, but his life ended in a tragic accident that took him far too young.

The next two were women, with similar ministry callings and hearts to serve—the first got disrupted when I adopted my two older girls. The second was just not a good personality fit. The one I have now, like DeNiro to Hathaway in The Intern, is an older man who is a fit like nothing I’ve had before. Part brother, part father, part advisor, friend, and coach, it’s such a gift to have someone who challenges and encourages me regularly!

3. Give it a try.

Strike up a conversation at church. Send a message to that ministry friend on Facebook—younger or older—let her know what you appreciate about her and see what happens. Ask a colleague for help on a project and see where the conversation leads. Notice a younger mom at the park where your older kids soccer game happens, and ask how life is going with her much-littler ones.

“I wonder if we’re not all a lot better for each other than we previously thought. . . .I wonder how many people are withholding the love they could provide because they secretly believe they have fatal flaws.” —Donald Miller, Scary Close

What might be a good first step for you to invite a mentoring relationship this week or this summer?

Shared By: Laurie Wallin

Reluctant Hopitality: Inviting others into Community

May 11, 2015 By Melissa Aldrich 4 Comments

I loaded up my three to go to the church play date. I slipped behind the wheel and did the slow preaching to myself so that I didn’t feel like curling into a ball and crying when I got home.

The twins were in the back and the almost two year old was playing with something so I whispered to myself aloud:

“I am going to this play date so that my kids can make friends and wear themselves out. If no one speaks to me other than a cursory hello, it is okay. I am going so that the kids have a good time and maybe take a nap. This isn’t about me.”

It was a line that I had practiced a many times after being hurt so many times from feeling ignored in what seemed like the only places to meet and make mom friends. I don’t do small talk well. I’m messy and real like a velveteen rabbit. I wipe my kids snotty noses with a dirty sock I find on the floorboard of the car because I always forget wipes. I’m late. I forget to wear make up and I may smell a bit off from not finding time to shower. When you look in the dictionary for the definition of “Hot Mess Mama”, you’ll see my picture.

When I’m an introvert mama out of the house among real grown people, I want only one thing: to have real meaningful conversations and know that I am not alone.

Play dates were not meeting this need, but I knew no other way to meet people. So I told myself I was going to wear out the kids and lowered my expectations.

To be honest, I had only agreed to that play date because another mom who was truly my friend had said she was going too. I was relieved to see her when I arrived and we chatted together a bit in between the small talk greetings from the other moms who went back to their groups and proceeded (like us) to semi-ignore everyone else assuming that we were all taken care of.

Out of the corner of my eye on this day, I saw this new mama. She asked if we were there with the church play date and I replied affirmatively. She darted off to capture a 2 year old hanging precariously off the edge. “I’m Ginger!” She said when she returned, only to dart off again to capture her almost 3 year old. I had begun to have to do my own darting as my 4 year olds and almost 2 year old begin the slow spiral toward nap time tantrums.

Suddenly, I started to see Ginger’s picture next to mine in the dictionary under a new entry title: “Hot mess mamas looking for real friendships.”

I stopped a moment with my arms full of crazy. And over the din of children melting down we had a quick conversation about how we hated these play dates and always felt like we were never going to make friends. We confessed that the church play groups felt a lot like middle school cliques to us. Middle school cliques who seemed to consistently put us at the “doesn’t fit in” table.

We exchanged numbers and Facebook profiles and scheduled a more intimate play date at her house. Together we worked toward a new dictionary definition “Hot mess mamas doing life together.”

We have a lot in common: young kids the same age, backgrounds that aren’t 100% church-friendly, and we both run businesses right smack dab in the middle of our stay-at-home mommy messes. And we might not admit it to your faces, but we are hard core video gamers with our husbands when time and energy allows.

I was glad that I took a moment that day to stop and notice a friend. I was glad I saw someone who wanted real meaningful conversations and needed to know that she wasn’t alone. But that day still haunts me in a way. What if I had just kept talking to my friend and being just as clique-y as the rest of them?

How do I create space for people as a hot mess mama introvert? How can I practice reluctant hospitality? (<====Click to Tweet)

Ginger may be a hot mess mama, but she isn’t my clone. She’s gifted at keeping a tidy organized house. And she’s an extrovert (a quality I sometimes beg God to give me). Hospitality is a place where she naturally shines. She’s come into her own at creating spaces for people to thrive. The other night this was her Facebook Status.

Of course we went!

Let me get real with you for a second: we are living on the sub flooring in our living/dining room because I couldn’t stand the filthy carpet one second longer and tore it up before we had saved the money to replace it (see image above). 90% of the furniture in our house was either given to us or picked up on the side of the road. I mopped the kitchen two times in one week last month and then gave up because it’s spring and all the mud they were tracking in would require daily mopping and, as a work from home mama, I don’t have time for that. My kids wear stained clothing because they play hard and I’m not awesome at laundry. The laundry is taking over my office as I steal these moments to write. I keep waiting for the Lord to provide my business enough work for me to be able to hire a house cleaner once a week :-p

Today while my kids stuck their noses in Winnie the Pooh video games on the library computers I had a moment to browse The Reluctant Entertainer by Sandy Coughlin. My breath caught in my throat when I read the following words:

The best thing I ever did in fighting perfectionism was to surround myself with imperfect people. I found friends with messy houses, dirty toilets, unorganized closets and cupboards, and better yet, imperfect kids. I became healthier and more courageous to be myself when I realized that we’re all real people living imperfect lives…

Once you experience freedom from perfectionism, you’ll find it’s much easier to enjoy a simpler approach to entertaining…You may even find yourself redefining what entertaining means to you. (Sandy Coughlin)

Hospitality has been a burden to me because I suffer from perfectionism. I care too much what people think of me or my house or my messy life to be real with people until I see their own mess. But people have let me in to their own messy lives: Ginger, Danielle, Mandolyn, Amy, Chelle, Anna, Mandy, Joni, Jessica, Connie, and others. That was the true hospitality, not the moments I was invited over into their spaces.

Hospitality is simply inviting others to do life with us right in the middle of our messy, incomplete God-sized dreams. (<====Click To Tweet)

I’m learning to let go. I’m learning to have people over for sticky s’mores and laugh at tantrum-ing toddlers up past their bedtimes. I’m learning to care a little less when I invite someone over who seems appalled by my messiness and never comes back again: they didn’t need or want my type of friendship and that’s okay. I’m here if or when they do want messy velveteen real. I’m learning that board games around the table with a bottle of wine or French press of coffee and 10 children watching How to Train your Dragon 2 on the living room floor are the spaces were hope is found. I’m learning that’s it’s okay that I’m a hot mess with three kids 5 and under running a business and sort of feeling alone.

I’m only truly alone when I try to manage my image and appear perfect.

Are you learning that too? That true hospitality is really just seeing another person and whispering, “Me too.”

You are?

Great! Bring over some of your favorite pizza and salad toppings. I’ll have lettuce, sauce, cheese, pitas, and dressings ready for pita pizza/salad bar night. The kids will bounce on the trampoline or ride bikes in the driveway and we’ll steal snatches of real as the Lord leads right here on my sub-flooring.

Shared By: Melissa Aldrich

Introducing Some New Faces!

March 4, 2015 By Kristin Smith 13 Comments

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What a JOY it is friends to introduce you all to some very special women that, starting in April, will be sharing their hearts with you here as contributing writers. As you know we have had a few changes in the past year with some of our original writers being called to mission fields closer to home and others that God was asking to say no to the good so He would have margin for His best in their lives. We expect there will always be seasons of change in places such as this and so as we looked to the new year we asked God to open the door for some new women to come and journey with us.

The women that we are sharing with you today, we believe, were hand chosen by God for such a time as this. We couldn’t be more excited to have them as a part of our team. Some you may recognize, and others may be “new” faces but I promise that you will love them all as we do already! Please help us welcome them with open arms to our space here!

Jenn Hand is a fellow GSD team member and a woman filled with more JOY than anyone I know! She leads Coming Alive Ministries and seeks to help women find ways to come alive right where God has planted them. You can find Jenn on Twitter, Instagram and her Website.

Katie Reid has encouraged us here as a guest writer in the past and has a love of encouraging women in their God-sized Dream. She has many talents, but most of all seeks to receive and extend grace in all she does. Connect with Katie on Twitter, Her Website and Facebook.

Kelli Stuart writes about all things including motherhood and chasing dreams. She is passionate about orphans and has traveled with Compassion on a blogger trip! We met Kelli and Wendy at Allume when they shared their God-sized Dream of encouraging the creatives out there! Join Kelli over at her Website, Twitter and Instagram to learn more!

Meredith Bernard is also a familiar face in these parts! She has a love of photography and sharing her faith and woman who is passionate about seeking God in all things and is diving into what community looks like in her own home. Find Meredith on her Website, Instagram and Twitter.

Wendy Brunner is a former actress in Hollywood and now is a writer and speaker sharing her love for Jesus! One of her God-sized Dreams is to tell stories that encourage women, what a perfect fit she will be here! Connect with Wendy at her Website and Twitter!

Full Bios on each author can be found here.