Every week I find myself staring in the mirror as the tiny little surprise in my belly grows bigger. I count down the months until our little girl gets here and although most of the time I get excited, there are times I want to run somewhere and hide because I have no idea how to raise a tiny human. Being a mom has always been a dream of mine; I just didn’t expect it to come this soon, and I didn’t realize how scary stepping into this new role would be.
You see, I struggle with remembering to feed my dog, and although he’s pretty cute–I find him to be high maintenance. Our dog knows 12 different commands and listens to us. He’s even potty trained and lives to please his owners; so if I struggle with that, then how I can do this whole “mom” thing? Not too long ago I was reading the book of Judges, and I came across the story of Barak in Chapter 4.
There was this judge named Deborah. Israel was being oppressed by this mean guy named Sisera who was the commander of the Canaanite Army. God told her to seek out a man named Barak because God was going to give Barak victory over the Canaanite Army. She found Barak and told him what the Lord had said. Instead of trusting the Lord to use him to the fullest, Barak was filled with doubt and only agreed to do what God asked if Deborah met his terms.
Barak told her, “I will go, but only if you go with me.” “Very Well,” She replied, “I will go with you. But you will receive no honor in this venture, for the Lord’s victory over Sisera will be at the hands of a woman…”
Judges 4:8-9 (NLT)
Out of all the people in Israel, God chose Barak because God saw something in him that set him apart from everyone else. God literally handed Barak this crazy amazing dream. It wasn’t often God specifically asked for people, let alone chose them to conquer a whole army, and Barak completely missed his chance because he doubted his abilities.
I can relate to that so much. I am Barak. I make excuses for why I can’t achieve certain dreams God’s laid on my heart or put in front of me. I reluctantly agree, but I often ask for things to go a certain way in order to do what God wants me to do. I don’t want my self doubt to cause me to miss out on a dream. This story reminded me that, all too often, I let my self doubt limit my dreams. There are times that I completely miss God’s miracles because I am too wrapped up in myself.
God chose me and my husband to raise this little girl because He saw something in us. He invested a lot of time and energy creating her DNA and facial structure. He knows the number of hairs on her precious head, and even her eye color. There’s no one like this little girl growing inside me. Even her fingerprints set her apart.
It’s a big job that God gave us and we are capable because He’s with us. Will we mess up? Well, yes, but our mistakes don’t define us so we certainly aren’t going to let the possibility of mistakes cause us to miss out on important moments like watching her turn over, speak her first words, or walk. We will embrace the task He’s set before us and conquer parenting like a boss.
With that being said, Eula Ellen Myers we can’t wait to meet you in August… <3
Shared by: Lovelle Gerth-Myers
Lovelle, this so encouraged me this morning as self doubt is my biggest battle and such a thief of dreams. Thank you for encouraging us all to embrace our dreams through and by the power of God has given us.
And blessings on you all as you wait for Eula’s arrival! {I love her name!}
Congratulations to you — so exciting to hear about your baby girl, and I’m thankful for your warrior-mum heart. God will meet us in that space of helpless — and yet fierce — need.
Every blessing!
Hi Lovelle. I never thought of that story of Barak in that way. Thank you for the insight. I think I’ve given up on so many dreams in my life because of self doubt. I so understand that “There are times that I completely miss God’s miracles because I am too wrapped up in myself.” I firmly believe you will be a good mother! I pray all goes well with you and the little one and am looking forward to a photo of her. 🙂 God bless you and your family! Hugs!