About Melissa Aldrich

Melissa Aldrich rarely has it all together, but she knows the One who does. She encourages others (but mostly herself) to see the mess in daily life as real, beautiful grace. With three children born within 25 months, including a set of twins, there's a lot of mess in her life that needs to be viewed with grace. Melissa is a wife, disordered housekeeper, sometimes writer, dreamer, and Greenville SC Newborn Photographer. Catch up with her on Facebook, or Instagram.

The 7 Stages Of Pursuing Your Dream

December 21, 2015 By Melissa Aldrich 3 Comments

Joe went out for the long pass. He was wide open and just a few feet from the end zone.

Glancing over his shoulder, he saw his brother Reuben arch the ball perfectly in his direction. The closest defender was yards away. Today would be the day that Joe would score his first touchdown in the neighborhood games.

His fingers brushed the pigskin and he reached to pull the ball close to him. But just as Joe pulled in the ball, he tripped and the ball flew from his grasp and out of play. He looked down to see that his shoe was untied.

Joe buried his head in the grass. He knew what was coming. He could already hear Simeon rolling and laughing on the ground.

“Joe, when are you going to learn to hold onto the ball?” It was Reuben.

“I’m sorry, Reu. I tripped.”

His brother Judah spat on the ground beside him. “Face it Joe, you’re not cut out for football like the rest of us.”

“Dad says I’m going to be better than him! He says I have the potential to be the best wide receiver in the history of the NFL.” Joe replied defiantly. Football was his life.

“That’s only because you’re the youngest. There’s nothing special about you.” Judah retorted.

In the distance, Simeon and Levi were reenacting Joe’s failed play.

Joe stood up and sprinted all the way home to his father. His breath came fast and rushed in between his teary sobs.

“Joe, what’s wrong?” asked his father as he heard the boy rush inside. Joseph’s jaw tightened; he didn’t want his dad to know he had missed the pass, but he did want revenge on his brothers: all ten of them.

“My brothers are what’s wrong. They called me a loser and said I’m terrible at football.” Joe’s face was blotchy and streaked with dirt and his dad’s heart moved with compassion.

“Your brothers will be punished for what they said.” Joe felt the tiniest bit of remorse for his brothers. He knew the trouble that they would receive. He heaved a deep sigh.

“Son,” continued his father, “You will grow into your gifts with time.”

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“I want to grow into them now.” Joe said sullenly. His father stood up and guided the boy into the office. On the top shelf he took down his old NFL helmet, and slid it into Joseph’s hands.

“You will grow into your gifts, son. Take this and let it remind you of what you can become with patience.”

Joe wore the helmet the rest of the evening except when his mom made him take it off to eat. His brothers scowled at him, partly because of their punishments, but mostly because he had been given the helmet. None of them would talk to him.

That night he dreamed about football. It was a Super Bowl game. He saw all of his brothers on the sidelines. Some were special teams coaches, others were photographers, a few were players, Reuben was the quarterback, and Judah was the waterboy. Joseph was the coach. As his team won all his brothers threw Joe onto his shoulders and cheered! The team tossed gallons of Gatorade on him. Joseph was the leader and a winner!

When Joe woke up, he couldn’t wait to tell his brothers!

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As I’m sure you remember when Joseph shared his dream with his brothers things went poorly for him. The brothers, still angry about the bad report and the coat of many colors, sold Joseph into slavery. He spent years in slavery honing his leadership skills and finally ending up head of the household. Then he was falsely accused and sent to prison. And he sat in prison for years after he asked the cupbearer to remember him in front of Pharaoh. Finally, God makes him ruler right under Pharaoh and he saves his family’s life. (not familiar with the story? Check out Genesis Chapter 37 through Chapter 42)

I just re-framed this story so that you could see Joseph’s dream as if it were your own. Can you imagine from the giving of the dream to the realization of it in stages with me?

Excitement. “You called me to great things! I will do great things! I have value and are important even though I am the youngest one.”
Discouragement. “I must have imagined the dream. It didn’t really matter.”
Determination. “I will do this thing. Even as a slave I will work my way to the top of this household and be above reproach!”
Despair. “I did everything right and I’m in prison. These dreams are stupid. I will never be a leader.”
Dependence. “Okay, Lord. I don’t know what you’re doing around me. I don’t know why I am here or why this looks different from what I imagined, but I surrender to your work in me. Make me the leader I saw in the dream. Change my heart.”
Willingness. “Okay, Lord, I’ve seen the bottom. You rescued me in ways I could never imagined. Let me use my gifts of leadership to save this kingdom from certain death. Let me help these people acknowledge how much they need You through my service.”
Realization. “Wow, Lord, you did it! You used me as an instrument to save my family.”

What are you experiencing in the pursuit of your dreams?

How can we pray for you?

Shared by: Melissa Aldrich

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Did God Really Call Me To This?

October 23, 2015 By Melissa Aldrich 3 Comments

Click below to hear me read this post (and begin the journey of answering this call).

I remember the Still Small Voice perfectly.

I was sitting at a table during the 2013 Allume conference and we were reflecting on what God was telling us during the conference. We were all asking him to make his callings and purposes known.

He spoke to me the one word that made my knees knock together.

“Speak.”

I knew he wanted me to talk about early motherhood. That was the easy part to understand.

“Speak.”

But, God, I don’t want to speak. I’m okay on the podium…but all that afterwards small or deep heart talk shuts down this introvert.

“Speak.”

And I remembered Moses. He would make a way.

So being the overachiever I am, I decided I would act immediately in obedience. I contacted 3 MOPS groups in the local area saying that I would be willing to speak.

I was rejected by every single one.

I decided that I would just let God figure this whole thing out while I did nothing and went on with my life.

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Fast forward to early Sept 2015. I’m having a hard time falling asleep at night because I’m brimming with ideas (this is not an unusual situation for me and usually means I’m not giving myself enough quiet daytime rest).

A few months back, I had written a series for New Mama’s outlining some of the things I wish someone had said to me in the first six months of motherhood (click here if you want to indulge in reading). This series is sent via email auto-responder to new mama clients or email subscribers at 2:30 am so she can read it while doing a night feeding. But during this week it had suddenly struck me that most new mamas aren’t able to read very well even with all the sitting and feeding hours. Because there is spit up, and overflowed diapers, and the constant bouncing down the hall trying to get a little one to settle down before the next feeding.

What a new mama really needed was a podcast to listen to during these lonely miles wearing thin the carpet in front of the crib.

I dismissed the idea. Too time consuming while already juggling my growing business.

It fit, but it wasn’t for me at this time.(<====Click To Tweet)

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A week later, my mentor and friend Amy Hunt of C’est la Vie the magazine whispered some crazy words to me.

“I can see you doing a podcast.”

She didn’t know about my late night podcast thoughts. She was talking about C’est la Vie but I heard the still small voice again.

I decided I would curb my thoughts of grandeur this time. I invited my email list to take a survey (would you take it too?). And I decided to start slow: simply recording my earlier written series to be listened to in the wee hours of the morning.

I had misheard the earlier call to speak. And this one didn’t have the crowds of people clamoring to talk to me after speaking.

This one might be the perfect fit.

What happens when you hear His voice distinctly, but misinterpret the call? (<====Click To Tweet)

Shared By: Melissa Aldrich

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Sacred Work

August 28, 2015 By Melissa Aldrich 1 Comment

For a long time, I have struggled with my work and calling at Quiet Graces Photography. I love my work. The only things that make me happier than waking up on the morning of photoshoot are Jesus and Saturday morning snuggles with my little family. It makes me come alive to capture pregnant mamas, new babies, and the miracle of a child’s first year.

But in the church world, secular work seems secondary. People are dying without knowing Christ and I’m a just a photographer. I’m not a preacher or a missionary or a teacher of His word. I have yet to feel called to write books about His glory in the day to day. I’m just a photographer.

When I struggle with this “less than” calling, Satan likes to slither up into a branch and whisper his lies to me. “Oh, Melissa. You just doing that petty work of taking pictures… what good does it do for the God you say you love? Oh, and did I mention that extra income you’re earning? You don’t need that. You know your husband provides enough. You’re selfish and materialistic. There’s no place for that in the His Kingdom.”

The doubt, fears, and these lies almost make me want to quit doing what I love.

Why, Lord, did you gift me with photography and call me to pursue that? How does that fit in your Kingdom? How do any of these dreams not relating to direct advance of Your Kingdom fit?

One Sunday I walked into church and Jesus stood there and answered those questions for me.

In the following sermon, you can see where God grabbed my attention with a short video from For the Life of the World: Letters to Exiles at 33:25 . The rest of the sermon is fantastic too so if you like podcasts click here. 😉

Sacred Work In A Secular World from North Hills Community Church on Vimeo.

Let me give you a quick summary. In this video series, Evan is on a quest to find out what it means to live in this world as a exile- a citizen of heaven. He tackles a bunch of hard questions regarding life by interviewing some experts. At then end of this adventure, Evan writes a letter to the other “exiles”. This, coupled with the powerful visual representation of our work relationships in the video, is where I literally started holding back tears at the glory of His plan for economy (and I’m not a crier!).

Dear Everybody,

‘Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not,neither do they spin; but I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.’ (Luke 12:27).

Jesus commands us not to be anxious about our needs, then why do we toil? Merely to tend our bodies? Or also to shape our souls?

In giving us work, God invites us to blend the creativity of our minds with the labor of our bodies. Then, God invites us to share this labor with one another in free exchange. To make real our communal nature, our gift nature through our personal callings.

We must never see our work as simply a way to gain. We must never see our labor as an impersonal force of efficiency. We must never see our work merely as mechanism we might control with levels and switches of power.

In all our work together, what we call the economy, that’s not a machine either. Work is always personal because work is always relational. Whether you’re a janitor or a CEO or a programmer, work is creative service.

So let us cherish our work as the glorious gift it is. The opportunity to join with others, literally millions of others, in a divine project of vast creativity, vast abundance for the meeting of needs. For the flourishing of cities. For the life of the world.

Let us see every product, every purchase, for what it is a touch point a nexus of millions of relationships. At every moment, you are surrounded with the fruit of a great and gracious collaboration. At every moment, you are being reminded that you are not alone, and that you are never meant to be.

Yours,

Evan
For the Life of the World: Letters to the Exiles.

(Seriously, stop and watch the film if you can. This letter just doesn’t do justice to the full weight of the film.)

So let me re-frame my secular calling for you in light of this letter.

I am just a photographer.

That means that a new mama hires me. I enter into relationship with her. I pour into her life through photographing her miracle baby just days after birth and encourage her through a new mama series sent to her via email while I process her images.

I’ve used props in my studio made by others using silk, or yarn, or wool from a sheep, or fabric which we all processed into those materials by other laborers and farmers. I’ve taken those images using a Sony camera whose parts were conceived by people collaborating all over the world. I process those images on a computer that my husband built from similar collaborations. I am using Adobe and Microsoft software created by thousands more people.

I place the images on a USB crafted by more people in a box hand crafted by a woodworker with a bracelet crafted by a friend with their child’s name on it. The box also contains a set of proofs printed by people at a lab who purchased paper from a forester and ink from inkmakers. If they order an album or a print in addition to their digital files even, more people are collaborating to create the products I provide to my customers.

Do you see that?

I’m just a photographer who God has used to serve and celebrate one client’s miracle baby while earning my living, but who also is responsible for helping millions of others use their creativity and labor to earn their living as I create my final products.

My work is about relationships. Your work is about relationships. Kingdom relationships. Relationships where God provides the needs of millions so that that they might know hear His story and come to know Him.

Our work, our dreams (even the secular ones) are bringing about His purposes and magnifying His glory. (<====Click To Tweet)

Shared By: Melissa Aldrich

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Stay the Course: Delegating Tasks you Weren’t Designed For

June 10, 2015 By Melissa Aldrich 3 Comments

Like most dreamers, I can be a bit of a control freak. I can have this haughty attitude: “God called me to do this! I have to do it all. No one else will do it right!” For me, this is always the sin of pride: I begin to think my way is the only way and leave little room for God to be sovereign.

God made me a creative. I’m an idea maker, a dreamer, a connector of tasks to the efficient tool to finish the task, a doodler, a writer, and a complete scatter brain. My world is defined by seasonal spurts of energy for doing and long withdrawals into solitude to process life. My brain never stops creatively problem solving; I fall asleep each night mulling over another problem to be solved.

But with my propensity to be always about the solving of problems rather than completing of tasks, you can imagine that I struggle often as a photography business owner. I have learned recently that, even though I am a solo entrepreneur, I don’t have to do it all. God did not design me to do it all.

The key to staying on course as a dreamer is to recognize that you were not meant to complete it all. (<====Click to Tweet)

Let’s walk through the delegating some of the tasks you aren’t designed to do.

So quick, grab a sheet of paper and scribble down the tasks you have to do as part of your business but abhor doing (or procrastinate to the last minute). Here’s an abbreviated version of what I don’t do well in my business if left to myself:

Bookkeeping
Taxes
Website behind the scenes (fixing my contact form, figuring out how to get my email into Outlook)
Client Workflow: Staying on task with to-dos for each client
Some edits to pictures that are just too time consuming or out of my skill level
Manning a table at events (I struggle being personable with strangers)

Now let’s look at your list again. Categorize these things into “Things I can ask for Help”, “Things I should outsource,” and “Things I just have to do!”

Hint: there should be only a few things in your “Things I just have to do category.” In my short list above the only thing I have to do is client workflow.

Things I can Ask for Help with Completing

God has given all of us different skill sets. When we use our skills to bless and serve others we are living right in the center of our God sized dreams. So why, when we reach the end of our skill sets, do we hesitate to tap into the skill sets of those around us? Why won’t we let others use their God size dream skills to serve and bless you?

Asking for help is affirming the God-Sized Dreams and skill set given to your friend.

I have asked for help from a website friend when I had problems with my contact form. My websites CSS coding was all geek to me. (yes… geek… not Greek… hahaha… get it? I’m so funny… ok… maybe not…).

My husband wrote and continues to edit my Excel Spreadsheet for Bookkeeping.

Look at your ask for help category, pray over who can step in and give life support to those categories.

Things I should Outsource

While it’s okay to ask for help on small projects, there are certain projects that just need professional help. It is okay to pay someone to complete a task for you that they are more equipped to do! When you outsource, you are a blessing financially and affirming that the business or skills they have are something that God has given them.

I budget my CPA’s fee into my cost of doing business. Ya’ll, I would be lost without him doing my taxes.

I pay my friend Mandolyn to sit with me at marketing or mini session events because she is amazing at connecting with people and making them feel comfortable and welcome. She frees me up to do my job of photographing little ones.

When I have a complicated edit, I outsource. Sure, I could spend 2 hours educating myself on completing the task, but I don’t have 2 hours to spend on one photo as a solo entrepreneur. Paying someone $10-15 is well worth saving myself 2 hours of time.

If God didn’t design you to do a certain task, it’s going to feel laborious and rob you of the energy to complete the primary tasks He has for you. Outsource as soon as you can. I’m still praying about outsourcing housecleaning 😉

Things I Just Have to Do

Unfortunately, I am not at the point where I can comfortably hire an assistant or virtual assistant to keep me on task and assist with client workflow. I have to do it all by myself.

The single best tool I have found for client workflow is 17Hats. It’s an online app that integrates template emails, bookkeeping, client workflow processes, calendars, and to do lists all into one place. Ya’ll, I have found my happy place.

17Hats probably isn’t the best solution for every dream. I’ve heard amazing things about using Evernote for business or even Excel. I have used Canned Responses in Gmail to speed things up as well as Boomerang, a Gmail plugin, for easy automated client follow-up.

The important part of making your “Things I have to Do” list manageable is to create an easy to follow workflow. And that takes time to establish and discipline to stick to the plan.

In conclusion let me state again:

The key to staying on course as a dreamer is to recognize that you were not meant to complete it all. God gives unique interlocking skills to complete our missions for His glory.

Shared By: Melissa Aldrich

Photo Credit: reneweveryday.com

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Reluctant Hopitality: Inviting others into Community

May 11, 2015 By Melissa Aldrich 4 Comments

I loaded up my three to go to the church play date. I slipped behind the wheel and did the slow preaching to myself so that I didn’t feel like curling into a ball and crying when I got home.

The twins were in the back and the almost two year old was playing with something so I whispered to myself aloud:

“I am going to this play date so that my kids can make friends and wear themselves out. If no one speaks to me other than a cursory hello, it is okay. I am going so that the kids have a good time and maybe take a nap. This isn’t about me.”

It was a line that I had practiced a many times after being hurt so many times from feeling ignored in what seemed like the only places to meet and make mom friends. I don’t do small talk well. I’m messy and real like a velveteen rabbit. I wipe my kids snotty noses with a dirty sock I find on the floorboard of the car because I always forget wipes. I’m late. I forget to wear make up and I may smell a bit off from not finding time to shower. When you look in the dictionary for the definition of “Hot Mess Mama”, you’ll see my picture.

When I’m an introvert mama out of the house among real grown people, I want only one thing: to have real meaningful conversations and know that I am not alone.

Play dates were not meeting this need, but I knew no other way to meet people. So I told myself I was going to wear out the kids and lowered my expectations.

To be honest, I had only agreed to that play date because another mom who was truly my friend had said she was going too. I was relieved to see her when I arrived and we chatted together a bit in between the small talk greetings from the other moms who went back to their groups and proceeded (like us) to semi-ignore everyone else assuming that we were all taken care of.

Out of the corner of my eye on this day, I saw this new mama. She asked if we were there with the church play date and I replied affirmatively. She darted off to capture a 2 year old hanging precariously off the edge. “I’m Ginger!” She said when she returned, only to dart off again to capture her almost 3 year old. I had begun to have to do my own darting as my 4 year olds and almost 2 year old begin the slow spiral toward nap time tantrums.

Suddenly, I started to see Ginger’s picture next to mine in the dictionary under a new entry title: “Hot mess mamas looking for real friendships.”

I stopped a moment with my arms full of crazy. And over the din of children melting down we had a quick conversation about how we hated these play dates and always felt like we were never going to make friends. We confessed that the church play groups felt a lot like middle school cliques to us. Middle school cliques who seemed to consistently put us at the “doesn’t fit in” table.

We exchanged numbers and Facebook profiles and scheduled a more intimate play date at her house. Together we worked toward a new dictionary definition “Hot mess mamas doing life together.”

We have a lot in common: young kids the same age, backgrounds that aren’t 100% church-friendly, and we both run businesses right smack dab in the middle of our stay-at-home mommy messes. And we might not admit it to your faces, but we are hard core video gamers with our husbands when time and energy allows.

I was glad that I took a moment that day to stop and notice a friend. I was glad I saw someone who wanted real meaningful conversations and needed to know that she wasn’t alone. But that day still haunts me in a way. What if I had just kept talking to my friend and being just as clique-y as the rest of them?

How do I create space for people as a hot mess mama introvert? How can I practice reluctant hospitality? (<====Click to Tweet)

Ginger may be a hot mess mama, but she isn’t my clone. She’s gifted at keeping a tidy organized house. And she’s an extrovert (a quality I sometimes beg God to give me). Hospitality is a place where she naturally shines. She’s come into her own at creating spaces for people to thrive. The other night this was her Facebook Status.

Of course we went!

Let me get real with you for a second: we are living on the sub flooring in our living/dining room because I couldn’t stand the filthy carpet one second longer and tore it up before we had saved the money to replace it (see image above). 90% of the furniture in our house was either given to us or picked up on the side of the road. I mopped the kitchen two times in one week last month and then gave up because it’s spring and all the mud they were tracking in would require daily mopping and, as a work from home mama, I don’t have time for that. My kids wear stained clothing because they play hard and I’m not awesome at laundry. The laundry is taking over my office as I steal these moments to write. I keep waiting for the Lord to provide my business enough work for me to be able to hire a house cleaner once a week :-p

Today while my kids stuck their noses in Winnie the Pooh video games on the library computers I had a moment to browse The Reluctant Entertainer by Sandy Coughlin. My breath caught in my throat when I read the following words:

The best thing I ever did in fighting perfectionism was to surround myself with imperfect people. I found friends with messy houses, dirty toilets, unorganized closets and cupboards, and better yet, imperfect kids. I became healthier and more courageous to be myself when I realized that we’re all real people living imperfect lives…

Once you experience freedom from perfectionism, you’ll find it’s much easier to enjoy a simpler approach to entertaining…You may even find yourself redefining what entertaining means to you. (Sandy Coughlin)

Hospitality has been a burden to me because I suffer from perfectionism. I care too much what people think of me or my house or my messy life to be real with people until I see their own mess. But people have let me in to their own messy lives: Ginger, Danielle, Mandolyn, Amy, Chelle, Anna, Mandy, Joni, Jessica, Connie, and others. That was the true hospitality, not the moments I was invited over into their spaces.

Hospitality is simply inviting others to do life with us right in the middle of our messy, incomplete God-sized dreams. (<====Click To Tweet)

I’m learning to let go. I’m learning to have people over for sticky s’mores and laugh at tantrum-ing toddlers up past their bedtimes. I’m learning to care a little less when I invite someone over who seems appalled by my messiness and never comes back again: they didn’t need or want my type of friendship and that’s okay. I’m here if or when they do want messy velveteen real. I’m learning that board games around the table with a bottle of wine or French press of coffee and 10 children watching How to Train your Dragon 2 on the living room floor are the spaces were hope is found. I’m learning that’s it’s okay that I’m a hot mess with three kids 5 and under running a business and sort of feeling alone.

I’m only truly alone when I try to manage my image and appear perfect.

Are you learning that too? That true hospitality is really just seeing another person and whispering, “Me too.”

You are?

Great! Bring over some of your favorite pizza and salad toppings. I’ll have lettuce, sauce, cheese, pitas, and dressings ready for pita pizza/salad bar night. The kids will bounce on the trampoline or ride bikes in the driveway and we’ll steal snatches of real as the Lord leads right here on my sub-flooring.

Shared By: Melissa Aldrich

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When You Are Ready to Succeed

February 20, 2015 By Melissa Aldrich 4 Comments

The word God gave me for 2015 was “Vulnerable.” I don’t like it at all. In fact, I may still be glaring up at heaven with my arms crossed and an “Oh, no, you didn’t” expression all over my face.

So let me go ahead and admit my deepest darkest dreamer secret: I’m afraid of succeeding.

I can sit down and write a marketing plan. I can crunch numbers until I know exactly how many pennies I need to make to meet my financial goal. I can dream a mean dream. I can take your dream and give you a 13 step plan to success! I can even write a post on how my job is obedience and God is in charge of even the definition of success.

Yet, I can’t shake the fear of success. And the fear of success brings with it the obvious temptation to fall into inaction.

Or to say it more succinctly: When I fear success and don’t act as I should, I am disobeying. (<====Click to Tweet)

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My little Aeralind is just like me.

Aeralind and her twin Bronwyn are in the process of learning to ride bicycles. Today Bronwyn nailed the 25-foot ride. Check it out! (yes, we did slap a helmet on that head right after this video. We didn’t expect her to do it!)

Aeralind mastered the jump-off-the-bicycle-as-soon-as-daddy-tries-to-let-go move (sorry, no video!). She’s not scared so much of falling, but of turning around and seeing that her daddy is no longer holding her safe.

I know Aeralind understands she is capable of riding that bike without training wheels. However, she’s not sure she wants it bad enough to fight for it and do it her own way despite the opinions of others. She’s scared of both the changes inherent in success and what others think about her journey.

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I am capable of getting up at 6:00 a.m. and working my tail off on business and marketing tasks.

I am capable of finishing my marketing class.

I am capable of taking the chance that this little business will cover the cost of two-day preschool for the youngest, so I have to time to invest to grow my business.

I am capable of sharing my heart freely and vulnerably with you even though I’m scared.

I am capable of much, but I am scared of the changes, of the journey, and of what God will make success look like.

I’m done being scared. I’m strapping on the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the belt of truth, the shoes of the gospel of peace and I’m mounting this bicycle of a dream and going to pedal hard and fast.

If I fall, I just have to trust that my Daddy will be there proud of my attempts and ready to give me a good cuddle.

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When God Uses What’s Hard to Show Us His Best

January 28, 2015 By Melissa Aldrich 2 Comments

My husband tells me he’s heading to the ER around 2:30. I say something dismissive and fall back asleep.

He texts me at 6:00 to tell me that he’ll be having surgery to remove an appendix very soon.

I beg my small group for prayer in an email while waiting for the kids to wake up so we can go to the hospital.

My small group leader texts back me to say she’ll be there in 30 minutes to get the kids.

Breakfast, kisses, good-byes, and off to the hospital to be with my husband.

He’s wheeled into surgery an hour later and I spend the time texting and talking until I’m worn.

Doctor sits me down in the conference area. Tells me it was bad. Perforated. Waste leaking into his blood stream. Hubby will be in the hospital for at least three days.

Three days stretches to six long days. Children are shuttled to and fro from one kind friend to another. I’ve called clients and postponed appointments. I walk with him in the hospital. Rub essential oils on his tummy. Eat meals brought by friends. Make fun of his “gas baby.” Take trip after trip to the hospital with the kids who refuse to go a day without seeing him. Put the three to bed alone and exhausted. The days run together.

And all of a sudden, he’s home.

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Memory fragments over trauma and these fragments are from early November.

October had been the best month I had ever seen as a photographer: five paying clients (my maximum!) and a trade with my CPA for photography if he’ll keep my taxes straight.

Then November comes crashing down with my husband’s appendectomy in that first week of the month. My God-sized dream of photography drops to the very bottom of the to-do list and I inch forward on survival mode hardly knowing when a day has passed.

But this temporary suffering was more of what God had for me. The suffering was its own form of a God–sized Dream.

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I’ve never felt quite at home with a group of people. Being a strong-willed introvert with decisive leadership skills but a one-to-one social awkwardness has often felt like a thorn in my flesh. Sure, I can take your problem, analyze it, give you a 12 step action plan, and rally a whole crowd to do it… but making friends scares the pants off of me.

For six long days in the hospital and almost a week afterward, people rallied around me and I wasn’t leading them to do it. God was leading them to do it. God was leading them to whisper gently into my biggest fear. He was sending them to counter the lie that I didn’t matter to anyone. They countered the lie that my unique set of skills were valueless.

So my husband had an appendectomy and we all suffered through a week of being stretched in so many different directions. Meanwhile we listened to the chorus that we were valued over and over and over through one small act of service after another.

Through it all, a tribe that I didn’t know I had arose. This tribe that had pushed me toward Him, delivered meals, provided childcare, and whispered His words over me in an hour of need.

Sometimes suffering is part of the plan for us. Sometimes suffering meets one of our definitions of a God-sized Dream: wanting more of what God has for us. (<====Click to Tweet)

Shared By: Melissa Aldrich

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Rest Fuels your Dreams

December 10, 2014 By Melissa Aldrich 3 Comments

It’s late. I’m exhausted. And yet I can’t fall asleep.

My husband is snoring next to me and has been for twenty minutes. And my brain is running 100 miles an hour over a to-do list for my business or a marketing idea or a blog post text or an e-newsletter campaign…

I get up again, trying not to wake the snoring bear, and write down a list of these things hoping that having them on paper is the answer to getting the sleep I need.

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I’m not a creative night owl (maybe you are?). I’m actually the girl that requires about 8.5 hours of sleep to feel human and prefers to get all of her creative and business work done at dawn before the little ones stir.

More often I find that the ideas haunt me at night when I haven’t given myself the space to rest during the day.

Rest is that time where we commune with Him. Where our mind is free to wander and dream alongside His guiding hand. It’s the time where ideas are generated in the closeness with a Creator. It’s a time for our minds to be still and peaceful, waiting on Him to stir the waters.

Yet rest is also that space where we’re forced to square up with the fact that we are grossly unprepared for the tasks we’re called to do. That’s why we avoid rest.

We find ourselves avoiding rest by:

reading this mindless article we found on Facebook
glaring at Pinterest trying to force a spurt of creativity
simply staring at the to-do list, overwhelmed
rushing from one activity to another
never saying no, even when we know we should
or on the other end of the spectrum, tackling every thing on the to-do list as if the world depended on us to finish.

We need to step away more often. We may even need to schedule rest.

I’m writing this article right now because the Lord gave me disciplinary rest: He turned off my Wi-Fi. Ha!

The creativity that I longed for as I viewed images I admired on Facebook and pursued sewing projects on Pinterest, does not come from striving. He’s pouring into me these words and insight because of this unintended rest from media and the tyranny of the urgent.

I have the freedom to create the worship and work He calls me to in the space of rest. (<=== Click to tweet)

I’ve never thought of rest as the fountain of creative work before. But I’m certain God has. Why else would He command an entire day of rest each week? A command we too often ignore.

So let’s brainstorm some ways to find rest in our lives. Here’s my short list:

Spend at least 30 minutes of my children’s nap/rest time as media free time a day. (I may even ask my computer tech nerd husband to schedule the Wi-Fi to turn off during this time.)
Do something with my hands during this time that brings me joy and Him praise. Knitting that sweater I’ve been working on. Fixing that dress of my daughter’s with the strap that needs reattaching. Doodling aimlessly on paper. Playing with a personal photography project. Hand quilting. Writing down my thoughts.
For me, busy hands clear my mind for thought and prayer. In fact, my ideal place for thought, prayer, and scripture memorization is swimming laps or tackling the treadmill.
This might not work as well as for you. Perhaps you rest best when your bring your worries to Him or as you verbally process ideas with a friend.
Commit to a day of rest. For me, this is going to mean avoiding social media for one day each week. I guess I’m being hard on social media in this post, but for me it’s my biggest time thief. It’s the thing that keeps my brain going in moments where I should be enjoying rest. But it’s also that place where I’m most tempted to compare my calling or my life with yours… which creates anxiety and stress, not rest.

What are some other ways you can create space for the kind of rest that fills your soul and fuels your dreams? (<=== Click to tweet)

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When Fear is on the Horizon

October 29, 2014 By Melissa Aldrich 5 Comments

There are things brewing right now that I did not think were going to be part of my God-sized dreams. Big things. Scary things.

I don’t know where the story that God is writing for you (or me) is leading, but I have a hypotheses about when the fearful tummy flutter will kick in.

Would you be fearful in the following scenarios?

When you open your online shop and wait months for the first sale that isn’t mom’s best friend?

When you make that call to the counselor to start a healing journey for yourself or your marriage, and everything seems to fall apart?

When you sign that conditional job offer and wait to see what unfolds?

When you first whisper aloud the tenuous thread of your dream-calling, and wait for your friend’s response to your heart?

When you write that blog post that you know is on your heart, and one person comments to tell you that you’ve got it all wrong?

When you head back to school to finish that degree, and the work is hard drudgery that doesn’t seem to light your passion as you had expected?

The Heart Issue Behind Fear

Fear will always creep into your heart when you take a new step in obedience and the results don’t happen as you had expected.
But fear perhaps isn’t the root issue. It’s a symptom. Fear is uncertainty. Uncertainty is doubt. And doubt is the heart’s cry for the Savior’s love. “If you really loved me, Jesus… if you really called me to this… why isn’t this turning out the way I had expected?”

The heart issue behind fear is a doubt of His love.

How to Fight the Fear

Dear heart, let me tell you (and me!!!!) the good news we need so desperately to hear.

Never mind, let’s just let His Word whisper it to us. It’s more powerful than any word of mine.

“By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” 1 John 4:13-18

Did you get that? Fear has to do with punishment: with doubting that we can be good enough to earn his favor. And, that’s true: we can’t earn it.

But when we answer the call of His love at the cross, admit we can’t do any of this on our own, and take on the righteousness of His Son in faith by grace, we are perfected in love. This is the gospel. We are made like Jesus and He abides in us through His spirit. We are held steadfast in His love no matter the outcome of our pursuit of dream-callings.

And the Lord will break us, bringing us to fear over and over and over again, so that we may once again soak in His love and promises.

How do you fight the fear? You rehearse the gospel:

“I was called to be His child. He has saved me. He has loved me enough to pour out the grace of His death and resurrection. Nothing can separate me from His love. He has called me to this dream and I will hold fast to His unending love and not the results that I had expected. I will not fear. I am right where He wants me: safe in the palm of His hand even in the midst of the storm.”

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What if Your Tiny Dream Is Meant to be More?

September 22, 2014 By Melissa Aldrich 3 Comments

I’d long admired her teal beret with the beautiful lacework. I overheard her whisper that she’d made the hat when someone else complimented her on it. She’d knit lace in the round. I was silently in awe.

My grandmother taught me to knit when I was little. Impatient then, I never finished a project. But like riding a bike, I never forgot how. I had some sweaters that same grandma knitted, but they weren’t my style at all. Inspired by that lacework hat, I ripped out the stitches and began to knit a sweater that was my style. I finished one. Tried another. And soon found knitting a favorite passenger-seat project in the car.

The girl with the admired lacework hat became my friend Danielle. I babysat her sleeping kids and she babysat mine so we could sneak out on low-cost date nights. One night after babysitting, she came home to me browsing knitting inspiration on her couch.

Danielle laughed nervously when I said she should knit a sweater. As I’d grown to know her, I realized that even though she could keep track of complicated lace (that frustrated ever-impatient me), she was scared to tackle a bigger project. We browsed together for a bit longer before I went home to sleep.

A couple of weeks later Danielle showed me the sweater pattern for which she had just purchased yarn.

I smiled. The irony that she had inspired me to pick up knitting after all those years and yet here I was encouraging her to take on a project she would have never picked without my encouragement.

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Christine Wright, our God-sized dream visionary here, can often be heard encouraging us to pray big prayers and dream big dreams. So much so that I truly believe this is a portrait of her.

See what I mean? They’re totally twins!

I digress…

What if that tiny dream (that complicated lacework hat) was meant to be more (a sweater to keep you cozy for years)?

What if we’re all just waiting for someone to whisper: Dream bigger, Jesus is capable of doing impossible work through you!

Consider yourself challenged to dream big dreams. I believe He will complete the work he has called you to do.

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment,so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:3-11 English Standard Version

Shared by: Melissa Aldrich

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