God-sized Dreams

Where Dreams Set Sail

Sailing Beyond Your Class

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I grew up shy. Dutiful. Obedient. Friendly enough for a preacher’s daughter, as friendly as required, but shy without question. My father left us for another family before my eighth grade year; that didn’t do anything but deepen my insecurities and doubt.

Shyly I entered college, with a course long charted for medicine. My first B threw me into upheaval and, via a story far too long to share here, redirected me to instead study Pre-law. I majored in Political Science and minored in Speech. I hated speaking in public! I threw up before every speech. This continued on in to law school, but I continued to speak, with toothpaste always nearby.

Fifteen years after graduation, I find myself celebrating my 40th birthday on a ship I regularly feel is beyond my class, charted for a course I feel incapable of completing. Apparently, in this whole faith thing, being humanly incapable of achieving your dream is actually a good thing. Or so I’m learning.

Being humanly incapable of achieving your dream is actually a good thing.

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The course was not straight or easy.

The boat is not even the same one nor does it resemble my boats charted for dreams long gone by. I spent my early 20s fighting my faith. I spent my late 20s fighting men. I spent my early 30s fighting infertility. I spent my mid 30s fighting the pressures of “it all.”  Throughout these years, I fought to stay in control. To chart my OWN course. Even when I prayed, read scripture, and lead bible studies, I fought God for control.

This is what I’m learning. It’s not about the fight.

The fight that comes because of a struggle of wills. Your’s against God’s.

It’s about the surrendering.

Surrendering to the one true captain who knows no bounds, whose ship has no class restrictions, whose course has no limitations. I’ve learned that this dream in my heart, to serve people in need of God’s grace, looks different, but better, through His telescope. At least, what I’ve seen glimpses of thus far.

This is who I am. I am a woman who loves God, my husband of seven years, and my miraculous three children who were born sixty seconds apart four years ago. I am a full-time attorney for a global energy company. I love my work and do it well. I love to write – more than just about anything else besides my family and friends. I’ve written a blog for three years, which began as a chronicling of the triplets story. Then God turned it into a refreshing spot for working women of faith. I published my first book about leadership for women this summer, Learning to Lead. I have an incredible crew of girlfriends–God well knew I would need them to survive this dream He is revealing to me bit-by-bit. I am stubborn and opinionated and vocal; for over two decades I had no idea this existed in my spirit. I’m now learning how God can use it, if I will first let Him tame it.

Even all those shy insecure years ago, though, I was a dreamer.

I’ve always been a dreamer. I just never imagined where God would take me. Where He would drag me. Where He would allow me to sail. Despite His continued faithfulness, I do not always sail fearlessly. But I will stay on this boat. Confident that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. (Philippians 1:6)  And knowing that He is able to do immeasurably more than all I could ask or imagine, according to His power at work within me. (Ephesians 3:20)

Photo Credit: Patrick Nouhailler, Creative Commons

Shared by: Gindi Vincent

*This post has been edited from the archives, January 2, 2014.

It Is For Freedom & The #DreamTogether Linkup

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freedom

It was still dark and I woke up early.  I pulled out my Bible and marched around my house.  The one year mark approached.  Seven days away.  Six.  Five.  Ticking down.  Claiming promises.

A hard year.  Not a year absent His presence or His miracles.  In fact, one full of blessings far beyond what I could imagine.  But still, hard.

I stepped out in crazy faith believing things were about to break free.  Feeling called to step out bravely and share my prayers with others.  I’d even laid down the behaviors I’d hung onto which I knew were keeping me from a deeper relationship with My Heavenly Father.

The end of the week (and march) arrived.  Like bells pealing on a Sunday morning, I awoke with music in my head.  I knew God was moving and my tribe of prayer warriors stood confident with me.

Nothing happened.

Nothing I could see happened.

And I held fast to my faith knowing I couldn’t predict God’s clock or His ways.  At least, I told every one of my friends who prayed for a breakthrough my faith was unchanged.  Unwavering. 

But let me tell you something.  If nothing else to admit it for the first time, almost two months after that day came and went.

That is a lie. 

I am typing this post a few hours before it’s due to run.  It’s my last one here.  I did not want to write it.  I can write about things like kids shenanigans and fashion on my own personal blog, but in this space I feel called to share a snapshot of my faith on this up and down and ever-changing dreaming adventure.  Like we’re sisters at sea together.

I say my faith is unchanged after this past year plus, and after that week of faith marching.  I pray with my kids every night and at mealtimes.  On Sunday mornings, I sing the songs and even raise my hands in worship.  I lead a monthly bible study and encourage others in their faith.

But I return to the valley of bondage.  I rely on the things that are fleeting because they make me feel temporarily better.  Because when I don’t shop or pour myself a glass of wine or lose my temper, I am sad.  I sit here questioning why I am stuck in this place, trapped in a bog.

There’s this line of theology out there that preaches if you pray the right prayers then you will be blessed.  You will live in financial and physical wealth.  You call unto the Lord and He will rain down showers of abundance once He hears your first words.

It’s not true.

The Bible is clear the trials get HARDER not easier as our faith deepens. @justgindi

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The Bible is clear the trials get HARDER not easier as our faith deepens.  If He’s going to use you powerfully in the next battle, He needs to know you are prepared.  Did the elite Navy SEALS get to serve in special operations by getting massages and sleeping in?  Hell, no.  And I choose that word intentionally because it’s what they have to go through.

It’s what Jesus actually went through.

And I’m despairing over stagnation and uncertainty.

He did not call us to sit in bondage.  What does Galatians 5 say?

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

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It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery… You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you.

Only the human race needs to be reminded we are set free for freedom.

It is for freedom we have been set free.  It is not for fun or frivolity, mind you.  There’s no promise it won’t be hard.  In fact, it says exactly the opposite: In this world you will have trouble! But take heart! I have overcome the world.  John 16:3

I am so thankful for His faithfulness in the midst of my faithlessness.  Let me encourage you as I preach gospel to myself tonight. If you/we have grown despondent or to the point of despair because your dream or your spouse’s dream or your children’s dream looks mired down without hope of rescue, it’s not over.  Don’t allow yourself to get in the way of The Great I Am:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith… Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? …God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.  Hebrews 12

Shared by: Gindi Vincent

                                                         

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Join me and other like-minded dreamers for the #DreamTogether linkup @GodsizeDreams!

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In His Time

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histimeI remember a song from my small town church years ago which repeated the refrain, “In His time, in His time…”  I didn’t realize at the ripe old age of 12 what it meant to wait for His time.

Last week, a magazine published a kind article about me and my blog as well as how I speak and write in addition to practicing law.  The words of that song flashed in neon across my mind as I stood reading the article.  You see, I’d reached out to that same magazine in 2013 as my book was about to release hoping they’d write a review of the book.  Thanks, but no thanks, I heard back.  We plan our articles a year in advance.  We’ll make a note in our files about the book.

And that was that.

Until this past year when one of the editors booked me to speak at an event she was organizing. Afterward, she suggested the magazine profile me.  This was far more than I could have asked or imagined, three years ago this month. The article featured so much more about who I am and why I write.

My original God’s timing story is the one of our years of infertility.  Little did we know at the time that God was saving us from heartache. A tumor had taken up residence in my uterus which would have crushed any embryo who attached.  I could never have asked or imagined a tumor would be removed, and the very next year, to the month of the tumor removal, we welcomed the triplets into our home.

It’s happened over and over again I’m certain, but I’m recognizing it all the time now.  These past two years are a series of examples of His timing.  From the small to the large. From professional miracles to events in my family.

The summer of my book release, I tried and tried to find speaking engagements.  Every request I made went unreturned or uninterested.  When I stopped, He started.  Every single speaking engagement I have accepted, over 20 in each 2014 and 2015, came through no work or connection of my own.  I will get a random call, email, or LinkedIn request.  Each God-selected and God-timed.

This year, God helped me move from a season of accepting requests out of a fear of scarcity (if I say no, I’ll never be asked again) to making decisions confident in His security and provision (if I say no, He keeps providing, and if the requests dry up, I’m okay with what He has next).

His timing.

He works things out, down to the smallest detail, but only In His Time.

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He works things out, down to the smallest detail, but only In His Time. 

Just last month, my faith was tested yet again.  (One of my dreaming sisters says each test we pass takes us to new level in our faith and the tests only become more challenging.)  I had been assigned a work trip in a remote destination for a week.  I didn’t mind the trip, but it was moved to the week before the triplets seventh birthday.  If flights and weather cooperated, I would arrive Friday night hours before little bit’s birthday party on Saturday and the boys birthday party (at home) on Sunday.  I prayed and quoted scripture and said I had the faith of a mustard seed. Surely He could change Air Canada’s travel policy so I wouldn’t have to go.

Nothing. I gave up. Moved forward as if I would go on the trip and trust His hand to get me home in time.  That week, He sat me next to the very two people who put someone else on the trip and enabled me to cancel my trip.

His timing.

I can see Him weaving purpose in every setback and failure and delay now.

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From breaking up to losing a job to moving to a new city to infertility to self-doubt and insecurity, I can see Him weaving purpose in every setback and failure and delay now.

I did not see it then.

But I see it now.

And I just pray, every day, He will keep my eyes on today.  I pray He will keep me from seeing what is to come.  I pray He will allow my future to stay unknown (a particularly painful prayer for a control freak). He has shown me over and over when I take my hands off the wheel, He steers me in the best direction.  I may encounter delays, storms, and darkness, but when I arrive safely to shore, in His time, it’s always worth the wait.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory for ever and ever. Ephesians 3:20

Shared by: Gindi Vincent

For the Young Dreamer

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Dear lovely young dreamer,

I wanted to drop you a message.  A few words of advice from your older sister in the faith.  I see your eyes shining with idealism and promise. I want to encourage you, and caution you, if I may be so bold.

I’ve loved and mentored some precious teens and 20-something women of promise and expectation, and I’ve seen how easily we can get lost on this journey.  I know firsthand how quickly you can lose your way – I spent years chasing the wrong things in my 20s.

A simple caution first: don’t ever let money be the reason for a decision.  I heard a young woman just this week say she wished her boyfriend had more money.  She looked at her friends and their pricey adventures and outings and longed for it herself.  She let the lure of what money could buy distract her from the precious gift she’d been given.

Second, but closely related, cheer instead of compare. I know it’s hard.  Heck, the entire country conspires to have us compare ourselves, so we’ll buy more and do more and work out more and spend our time yearning for more.  Even after decades, I look at other women and can find myself wanting their dream or parenting style or weight or career.  There is a specific purpose God has for you and ONLY you.  There are works that God has prepared in advance for you (Ephesians 2:10).  He knew exactly who you would be because He made you that way.  He needs your unique voice and body and style and passion and perspective.  It is okay, even useful, to admire others for achievements they have made – admire, not desire. When our eyes are on the Author and Perfecter of our Faith (Hebrews 12:2), then we can cheer others on instead of tear them down or compete against them.

Third, and last for this little note, would you guard your heart (and mind?) (and body?)?  I have watched with great heartbreak the destruction the enemy can wreak on the most promising young dreamers.  The devil knows if he can take you out early, he can keep hundreds or thousands of people from knowing who God is because he dimmed your light.  If you have run away, or if you are living with someone just to feel loved, or if you are suffering under addiction to drugs or alcohol, you can come back.  You can return to those who love you and believe in you.  You are welcome, day or night, in the arms of Father God.

There was a young man in the Bible who let the things of the world entice him away and when he finally realized he’d wandered too far, he came home to a waiting father:

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.  Luke 15

And for you who are fighting the fight against what your peers or the world or the talking heads say you should be doing, and you are listening to that still small voice guiding you in what feels like the babiest of baby steps, take heart (Psalm 31).  Do not be discouraged in what feels like rejection.  Do not give up when you step out in faith and what looks like failure looms. 

You are not only fulfilling your dreams and His purpose for your life, but you are planting seeds and laying the foundation for others who will come behind you.  Sit down and read Hebrews 10 through 12.  See that in the midst of that encouragement to persevere, the pillars of our faith were “commended” but “none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.”  (Hebrews 11:40)

It’s hard in a culture to see past the me, to the we, but the dream God has for his children is so much bigger than you or I.  It’s a bigger picture. We’re individually contributing to His masterpiece.

Do not be discouraged. Your sisters are so proud of you. We believe in you.

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Do not be discouraged.  Your sisters in this dreaming adventure are so proud of you.  We believe in you.  We are standing a little further up the course cheering you forward.

And if you found this and you have gotten lost along the way, we are praying for you today.  You are always welcome home.  It. Is. Never. Too. Late.

You are always welcome home. It. Is. Never. Too. Late.

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“In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.” (Ephesians 3:12)

“For with God nothing will be impossible.” (Luke 1:37)

Love,

Your Dreaming (Older) Sisters

Art by Susanne Vincent

Shared by: Gindi Vincent

Spring Book Club: Breaking Busy, Communication and Worth

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The lie of shame.  Shame drives us into a never-ending cycle of trying to fix ourselves, to prove to the world and ourselves that we are not inherently flawed, that we have value.

The lie of not enough. Every day the Enemy lies to people, to tell you you’re not good enough, trying to distract them from their calling. 

The lie of unworthiness.  When we live life feeling unworthy, we wonder if we will ever be enough – smart enough, creative enough, thin enough, rich enough, spiritual enough. We stay stuck in cycles of busyness trying to please others to gain assurance and acceptance. 

What a powerful way to end our God-sized Dreams spring book club studying Alli Worthington’s Breaking Busy.  Today we tackle Chapter 9 on Communication and Chapter 10 on Worth (excerpted in part above).  This book closed on an important note for all of us dreamers who are spinning like tops trying to prove ourselves or make everyone happy.

Understanding how we communicate can help us in eliminating the unnecessary busy in our lives.

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And a great way to kick off that conversation is with Chapter 9 on communication.  Understanding how (and why) we and others communicate can help us in eliminating the unnecessary busy in our lives.  How?  Think of time you waste on needless, idle conversations, or how much energy gets expended with people not understanding what you or others mean when you’re trying to communicate a message.

Alli offers great tips in chapter nine for both undercommunicators and overcommunicators as well as help identifying which you are if it’s not obvious to you.  “It’s crazy to think that something as simple as communicating better can help us break busy and find our voice in a world of noise, but it can and it does. Taking control of the multitude ways you can communicate with others can literally give you hours back in your day.”  p. 192, Chapter 9

Then, Breaking Busy powerfully closes with a chapter on worth, and how it can be the most critical element in eliminating the busy because it fuels our busy for the wrong reasons.

It is God that keeps us grounded and aware of who we are and why we are here.  It is our faith that has to fuel our actions not our sense of shame or worthlessness.

Keeping us busy trying to prove our worth is the easiest way to keep us from the life God created us to live because it makes us think that our worth is based on what we do, instead of who God is.  p. 197, Chapter 10

Go back. Reread that.

Our worth is not based on what we do. #breakingbusy

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Someone needed to hear that alone today.  Sweet dreamer: your worth is rooted in who God is and how He sees you and who He says you are.  And it is good and beautiful and worthy and forgiven and loved and treasured.

Your worth is not based on what you DO.

Being rooted and grounded in His love and His message over us (and for our lives – our dreams!) is the ultimate antidote for the needless busy in our lives.  What better way to close than with Alli’s own closing words:

The best things in your life? They are not of your own doing. They are not because of who you are or what you accomplish, but because of who God is and what he has already accomplished. 

Friends, it’s been such a treat to walk through this book club with you.  I’d love to hear what you learned and how it’s changing how you make decisions and schedule your life.

Spring Book Club: Breaking Busy, Time and Decision

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Time?  What time?  Um, maybe I’m not Breaking Busy yet!

That’s right, today we’re tackling Chapters 7 (time) and 8 (decisions) in our spring book club study of Breaking Busy. 

Let’s jump right in with an all-too-close-to-home verdict on how often our life devolves into a tyranny of the urgent.  Alli explains the phrase:

It describes a life of constant tension between the urgent (constantly putting out little fires and checking off the to-do lists) and the truly important (our relationship with God and the bigger priorities of life).  The problem is that many important tasks (such as getting adequate sleep, spending quiet time with God every day, and working toward our big goals in life) don’t seem urgent enough to demand our immediate attention, while urgent tasks (like stopping the kids from bickering over who gets the toy first or answering that text) aren’t always important.
But urgency is not patient. Urgency has no boundaries. Urgency is demanding and controlling.
Urgency is a terrible tyrant. She demands that you give her 100 percent of your attention 100 percent of the time. (Chapter 7, p. 142)

Dreamers?

This is absolutely us!

When the urgent drowns out the important, we are unable to achieve our dream. #breakingbusy

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When the urgent drowns out the important, we are unable to achieve our dream.  And months, years, heck decades, fly by in the face of all of life’s urgent demands.  We have to stop and take our own time out.  Schedule time for what is truly important and not allow the never-ending urgent tasks divert us from hearing God’s voice and doing what God has prepared for us.

Ephesians 3:20 reminds us God “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.”  God has big plans for us and is at work in us, as Alli reminds us in Chapter 7, “when we steward our day-to-day lives well, we can live the life he has planned for us.”

How?  There are some great tips at the end of the chapter:

Make a stop doing list – this can be as valuable, if not more, than a start doing list.  What is sucking you dry right now? Find ways to stop (or scale back) those things.

Learn to say no to yourself and others – Boy can this be hard.  That means turning down what sounds like fun opportunities sometime in order to create space for what is truly important as well as turning down requests for which you’ve long felt obligated or just felt obliged in order to keep people happy.  I loved this tip, “Choose discomfort over resentment!” Amen!

Plus: Add in time to stay connected to God, time to connect to others, and time to take care of yourself.

If that wasn’t enough, Alli follows up with Chapter 8 and lots of insightful advice when approaching decisions in your quest to break busy.

One of the easy reminders for how to check your decisions to make sure they are being made based on the most important priorities is checking “the Five F’s: faith, family, future, fulfillment, and friends.”

Are you seeking God’s direction as you debate your yes and your no? Have you gut checked it with your family?  Does the decision lead you down a path for the future you want to walk?  If you embrace this choice, will you feel more fulfilled?  And have those dear friends who have seen you through the ups and downs offered their perspective on what your decision means?

There are some other great short and sweet techniques in Chapter 8 you can consult as a go-to when you’re in a pinch or a pickle over a decision you can’t seem to make.

As always, Alli has short videos for Chapters 7 and 8 which offers her summary on each chapter.

So sound off.  What drowns the best use of your time and how do you make sure those priorities and dreams find time in your schedule?  And what is one of the best techniques you use when you have to make a wise decision?

Share your insight here or on Facebook and read Chapters 9 and 10 in preparation for our final installment next week.

Spring Book Club: Breaking Busy, Thoughts and Traditions

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Welcome to our fourth installment of our Spring Book Club studying Alli Worthington’s Breaking Busy.

I hope you are enjoying it – I’d love to hear what you’re applying to your life and dreams after getting several chapters in.  Today, we’re covering Chapters 5 (Thoughts) and 6 (Traditions).

In Chapter 5, Alli asks us what are we focusing on?  Our fears and our flaws all too often.  If that’s where our thoughts are, then that drives us to “be and do” more which creates a vicious “hamster wheel” of busy.

I don’t know if this hit you like it did me, but I love control and that can fuel all sorts of fear and worry.

My worries were born out of my need to be in control. #breakingbusy

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“My worries were born out of my need to be in control, my desire to know what was next in my life, and a lack of gratitude for the grace he had already given me… Worry is different than anxiety. Anxiety is a deep sense of doom rooted in a fear that is often a lie from the Enemy. Anxiety cripples us and leaves us feeling incapable of escaping our situation. Worry, on the other hand, is our attempt to control the future.”

We have to cut out the worry stopping us from doing what God is calling us to do (and not to do).

So what to do?

Alli’s tips are to: abide in Christ (His voice is far kinder than our own), stay mindful, surround yourself with positive friends (their positive energy is contagious and can counteract a negative cycle), and focus on the discipline of gratitude (there’s a ton of research that proves this grateful daily mindset does wonders for your thoughts and your success as well!).

We live in a world of expectations.  None more so than when it comes to traditions – whether that’s a Thanksgiving meal or a preschoolers birthday party.  I know.  I’ve lived, and failed, my share of traditions.  Traditions need to add to our lives and not just pile on the busy stressors.  As Chapter 6 says, “traditions done for the wrong reasons shackle us to unrealistic expectations and a whole lot of unnecessary busy work.”

Traditions need to add to our lives and not just pile on the busy stressors.

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Alli shares some wonderful tips for managing “traditions:” Drop (or don’t pick up) the traditions you don’t enjoy; look for a win-win solution (think carpools, swapping holidays, and the team approach for holidays); and give yourself permission to disappoint (you can’t always find a win-win!).

As always, Alli has short videos for Chapter 5 and 6 which give her insight on the chapter up close and personal.

So sound off.  What do you do to short-circuit those damaging thoughts your inner voice can start up with?  And what do you do about traditions and the ever increasing pressure of Pinterest and Instagram?

Share here or on Facebook and read Chapters 7 and 8 in preparation for next week’s installment.

Spring Book Club: Breaking Busy, Calling and Editing

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Welcome back to our third week of God-sized Dreams spring book club!  Today, we dig into chapters 3 (calling) and 4 (editing) of Alli Worthington’s Breaking Busy.

I don’t know about you, but Chapter 4 hit me like a boulder.  What is resonating with you as you read?

Before we launch into Alli’s tips on Editing, let’s dig into the work we have to do first to find our Calling. How can finding our calling help us break busy?  It doesn’t eliminate busy.  But it does help us choose wisely what keeps us busy.  Instead of pleasing others and filling a void, we become “busy with a purpose” which energizes and keeps us focused on what’s really important.

I have learned that God plants gifts in us and provides opportunities throughout our lives to fulfill our life’s purpose. But we have to break the cycle of busy in our lives if we are going to have enough room to discover God’s plan – our destiny.  p. 67, chapter 3

To jumpstart your assessment of where your calling lies, if you don’t already know, Alli offers some great questions to ask yourself:

  • what activities have you loved since childhood?
  • what do you love?
  • what tugs at your heart?
  • if money were no object, what would you do for free?
  • what energizes you?
  • what is something everyone says you’re good at?

Did that shed a little light?  Take some time.  Pray about it.  Ask your friends or family.  Rethink what’s possible and put your busy energy toward your life calling.

But if you’re going to have time to focus on what God really wants you to do, you’re going to have to do some editing.

Sigh.  This. Is. Hard.

Every single one of you who is busy right now must read chapter 4 if you read nothing else.  There is so much good here about God’s nudging and the importance of stepping away from things, even those that seem “good:”

I’ve learned through the years that when I am both surprised and challenged by a whisper in my spirit, it’s God asking me to do something that stretches my limited concept of what I can do…
God sometimes calls us to quit things that are good in exchange for His plans that are greater.  p. 80, chapter 4

If you thought breaking busy would be a piece of cake, then boy do I have news for you.

As I read this chapter, I had to make some tough choices.  In areas where I was succeeding and leading.  Because the reality is, if we are filling our life with busy things, even things that look good or even Godly to the outside world, but they’re not God-approved, we have to lay them down.

We have to lay down the busy, even if it looks good or Godly, if it’s not God-approved.

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And the laying down process can be hard for us and for those impacted.  I stepped off boards and stepped away from commitments, and those decisions impacted others too.

Alli gives readers a head’s up about this editing process, God was trying to alter my life and was refining my character to suit his particular purpose. But sometimes edits hurt, and sometimes they cause others to hurt. When you feel the need to edit something out of your life, expecting the process to be easy will only make that change harder. Like most growth in life, editing out the good is not easy, but it is ultimately worth it.  p. 86, chapter 4

We have to trust what God is calling us to.  And trust what He will bring on the other side of the pruning.

Some of the tips provided on making proactive edits (the best kind – reactive edits are when you’re at the end of your rope) included: look for areas in your life that are not fruitful; be proactive, not reactive; and look where God may be calling you.  Who knows what He has prepared in advance for you (Eph. 2:10) that you need to make room for now in order to create a space for Him to move you.

What struck you in chapters 3 and 4?  How did you find what God is calling you to?  What are your tips on editing the busy out of your life?

I hope you’ll join in the conversation here or on Facebook and we’ll take up chapters 5 and 6 next week!  A reminder, Alli offers great resources and here are her videos for chapter 3 and chapter 4.

Spring Book Club: Breaking Busy, Capacity and Relationships

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Welcome to God-sized Dreams Spring Book Club of Breaking Busy by Alli Worthington.  If you haven’t gotten the book yet, it’s not too late.  We’re just covering Chapters 1 and 2 today.

I don’t know about you, but I love that the book started with an entirely relatable first chapter about capacity.  While I’ve never had a ringing bra, I definitely have had early morning flights with fuzzy thinking and lost car chargers and missing papers because I’ve pushed too far for too long.

Capacity. 

Most of the time, I can’t envision what capacity is because I’m so far over it.  Alli quotes to a study on p.21 which found women, especially those ages 30 to 60, reported being busier than men and were sacrificing sleep, recreation, hobbies, friends, and families!  Yikes.

Because of the seasons in our lives (think care for kids, parents, or spouse, a new work assignment, a relocation, illness, etc.) we have to recognize we can’t always function at the same capacity.  Alli helps us identify when we may be firing well over capacity.  Some of the warning signs include:

  • The inability to control your emotion: Have you ever snapped or burst into tears when the circumstances didn’t warrant it?  I’ve nearly fallen apart at a pass the ketchup simply because I couldn’t do one more thing.
  • Lack of self care: Even those of us that know how to eat right and get enough rest can find all that slipping away when we’re munching on a bag of chips at midnight to meet that deadline.  We’ve got to take care of ourselves so we can continue to function effectively.
  • Self medicating/excess: Boy did this one hit close to home.  In the busiest and most stressful of seasons, I reach for a cupcake or glass of wine instead of identifying the cause of my stress and restructuring.  This is dangerous if you don’t reset before it becomes unhealthy or an addiction.

Alli offers great tips on how to identify what’s going on and recognize our limits.  One of the best tips is to take the time to identify why you are exceeding your capacity: In addition to pride, any number of things can cause us to exceed our capacity. We might be too focused on getting ahead. We might be operating outside our area of giftedness. We might be making bad decisions built on guilt or people pleasing. Stepping back to evaluate why we are doing what we are doing gives us insights into whether or not we need to keep doing them.

Then, wow, what a powerful reminder Chapter 2 on relationships was for me!  How about you?  We DO have to focus on the most important relationships in our life and they all too often get left in the dust when we’re too busy in our lives.

If we are going to start breaking busy, we start with focusing in on the relationships that fill our soul.

Breaking busy means breaking the idea keeping up with the Joneses will ever bring us any peace.

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First we have to check where our relationship is with God.  He’s waiting for us to set aside the time in the middle of “busy” to find Him.

Next, oh for you married friends, it’s finding time for your man.  Alli shares what so deeply resonated in my own life: From lost babies to lost hopes to lost dreams – the shared struggles are what brought us together so deeply. What I’ve learned is that a great marriage isn’t made of moments you see in the movies. Marriages are made in the moments of weakness, humility, and instability.

Can I get an Amen?

And last but certainly not least, we HAVE to find time for our friends. After spending this past weekend with two of my fellow God-sized Dreamer writers and a college roommate, I can tell you that is medicine for breaking busy like none other I can find.  Friends “pour life into me instead of draining it out.” All too often we let our friendships fade into the background as we try to juggle all the busyness that assails us.  We MUST find time for our girlfriends.

Alli’s been leading a book club study over at Propel Women, where she’s the Executive Director, and there are some wonderful videos from her on Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 which will definitely add to your enjoyment of these chapters.

So sound off.

How do you know when you’re over capacity?  What do you do to bring things back into a manageable state?

And what about your relationships?  How do you keep them a priority when the busy ramps up?  I’d love to hear what you’re learning as we study Breaking Busy together.

 

*Congratulations to Amber Baake who won the free copy of Breaking Busy!

Spring Book Club: Breaking Busy, Introduction

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Welcome dreamers and readers!

I’m so excited to launch God-sized Dreams spring book club.  Over the next couple of months, we’ll be reading Alli Worthington’s Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace and Purpose in a World of Crazy together.  I don’t know about you, but my life is a little insane right now.  Work, triplets, marriage, volunteering, and just getting out the door… Let me introduce you our book club with a few seconds of my week’s mayhem:

(Random facts: little bit is in a dress because we’re going to the ballet, but I’ve just finished work and have to make sure my people eat, and my boys think footballs go everywhere.)

I read this book in pieces on holiday car trips and work plane trips and each chapter holds nuggets of wisdom.  Alli’s warmth and humor help deliver a message we all need to hear, but her genuine street cred as a God-sized dreamer should make us all pay attention.  From launching her own business to giving it up to struggling with God in the midst of it all, this working wife and momma to five boys understands busy.  This isn’t a book to send you joining a commune in nature.  Instead, it offers insight into how to live in today’s busy culture without losing your head.

Each week, we’ll study two chapters.  So I hope you’ll pick up a copy of Breaking Busy if you don’t already have one and join us next Thursday as we dive into chapters one and two.

Plus, one lucky dreamer wins a copy of Breaking Busy for free.  All you have to do is to comment on this post or on Facebook with one area of your life that is busy right now, or give us a tweet out:

Join godsizeddreams.com spring book club of @alli new book, Breaking Busy.

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We’ll select a winner at random and have the book to you before next Thursday.

I look forward to chatting in the weeks ahead.