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Elise Daly Parker

About Elise Daly Parker

Elise’s latest dream set sail with the launch of her community site, Circles of Faith, Where Faith, Life, and Community Intersect. Through Circles, Elise lives out her passion for sharing stories that inspire, equip, and connect. She believes everyone has a story that matters, that God forms our dreams, and He will make them come true! Anchored in writing and editing for over 30 years, Elise is a freelance writer and editor, speaker, writing coach, and MOPS Mentor Mom. She is newly navigating life at home without kids and with a wonderful husband. Her future itinerary includes a grandbaby. She looks forward to dropping anchor here and getting to know you! Elise blogs at Our Stories, God's Glory and can be found on Facebook and Twitter.

Feeling Lonely While Pursuing Your God-Sized Dreams?

March 26, 2018 By Elise Daly Parker 22 Comments

 

“Was just talking to God and I realize I get bored and lonely when not collaborating in some way. I have wonderful stuff I’m doing. I like my editing work. And I’m enjoying writing content for The Mom Mentor. So I’m thinking…do I just need to get over myself or is there something I’m missing that I’m made for? Just a minor question for a Tuesday…”

This was a text I sent to Kimberly Amici, one of the co-hosts on our Slices of Life podcast. I was relieved to hear that she also struggled with working alone. She had already been talking to another member of the Slices of Life team, Noelle Rhodes, about the same thing.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Sometimes, while pursuing my God-sized dreams, I feel lonely and alone in my work.” quote=”Sometimes, while pursuing my God-sized dreams, I feel lonely and alone in my work.”]

I think there are a number of reasons why this is so, some of which you just might identify with.

  1. We live in a digital world – So while the Slices of Life podcast, for example, is collaborative because it’s at least three people having a conversation about real faith, real life, real community – we can do the work of taping over Skype. The upside is we can be in our own homes in sweats with no makeup on. The downside is we are not really in the company of one another. We do catch up a little, pray, tape, and chat for a few more minutes every time we tape, but there’s just no substitute for being in a room together.
  2. Some of us just don’t like being alone so often – Most of my work as a writer and editor requires me to be quiet (obviously not the case when I’m life coaching). I’m also easily distracted. So I need to be by myself. I’m likely to get the most done most efficiently alone in my own home office. No music. No talking. Just me and my computer. But after days and days of that, I’ve got to get out. I’ve got to engage with other people. I am an extrovert and being alone can drain me after a while.
  3. Isolation can lead to “stinkin’ thinkin’” – When I’m alone for too long, I can start to feel discouraged. Is this really what I’m called to? My imagination can get the best of me. Comparison can creep in. In my boredom, I can start to look for ways to fill my loneliness – like eating things that aren’t good for me but feel like comfort, or going off on a social media bender for an hour…anybody?
  4. We can feel like we’re in a vacuum – I’m an idea person, many dreamers are! We just can’t help ourselves. An entrepreneurial spirit is often part of the makeup of a God-sized dreamer. So we have ideas…All. The. Time. And by talking to others we can figure out if the idea might be worth pursuing. We process verbally. Sometimes writing can help, but sometimes we just need to share ideas with an understanding or like-minded friend out loud.

[clickToTweet tweet=”So what’s the solution for a God-sized dreamer who needs to be alone to pursue her dream, but craves the company in collaboration? ” quote=”So what’s the solution for a God-sized dreamer who needs to be alone to pursue her dream, but craves the company in collaboration?”]

Here are a few ideas:

  1. Meet regularly with a friend or two – Since Kimberly and Noelle were feeling similarly, the three of us are going to meet together in one of our homes on a regular basis. We’ll be intentional about our time with an agenda that includes collaborative talk time, a lunch break, independent work with headphones on, then we’ll end our time together with a little additional sharing.
  2. Consider a Meetup – You can join a Meetup group, start your own through Meetup, or gather a like-minded group regularly on your own, much like a book group. What’s Meetup? According to their About, “Getting together with real people in real life makes powerful things happen. Side hustles become careers, ideas become movements, and chance encounters become lifelong connections. Meetup brings people together to create thriving communities.” Groups of people are getting together to share writing, cooking, decluttering, and so much more through Meetup all over the world.
  3. Try Coworking – Yes…it’s a real thing. Ideal for small businesses, entrepreneurs, and freelancers, these are flexible shared office spaces. There are at least two spaces I know of right in my own town. You can agree to meet with friends a few times a week. You can buy a Day Pass, Monthly Pass, even a Monthly Dedicated Desk that allows you to use this space with a desk reserved just for you every day if you wish.

As Holley Gerth says in You Were Made for a God-Sized Dream, “Sometimes we feel alone not because we need to be with others but because God wants to be with us…Sometimes the feeling that we are alone is actually an invitation to stop and recognize his presence with us.”

You’ll definitely want to discern the difference between when you’re called to be alone so God can meet you in the quiet…and when you’re feeling lonely and need to connect with others.

When you need to step out and be with others…go ahead and find a way to do it. I’m cheering you on!

Shared by Elise Daly Parker

                                  

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Filed Under: Book Club, Community, Making time to work on your dream, The Dream Journey, The Ups and Downs of Dreaming, When Your Dream Includes Writing

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Step Away From That Dream – The Value of Holding Your Dream Loosely

November 27, 2017 By Elise Daly Parker 11 Comments

The Value of Holding Your Dreams Loosely

Are you wrestling with your dream? Wonder why your dream seems so far away? Are you afraid to loosen your grip on your dream because you’ve invested time, effort, even money?

[clickToTweet tweet=”Well I’m here to tell you…sometimes, it’s okay to step away from your dream. In fact, it can be really valuable.” quote=”Well I’m here to tell you…sometimes, it’s okay to step away from your dream. In fact, it can be really valuable.”]

Stepping away from your dream helps you gain clarity, makes a new direction possible, and even makes room for God to do things with your dream that you could never do while holding on.

I’ve just come out of a stepping away season. I’ve had dreams of writing a book, a few books in fact for years. And blogging kept me close to that dream. But for a time, I stopped writing and stepped into some other opportunities. In my case, I didn’t exactly decide I was stepping away from this dream of writing, but my yeses to a few other projects left me with little time and space for writing.

I didn’t really miss writing for a while. I was too busy to think about it much.

A few thoughts crossed my mind from time to time, “Maybe I’m not really a writer anymore.” “Maybe I don’t have anything to write about.” “Maybe my writing dream was for a season that’s over.”

I wasn’t thrilled about this.

I was a little sad. What about all those dreams that had to do with writing?

A little regretful. Maybe if I was more dedicated like some of my friends, I’d have a book by now.

A little puzzled. For so many years, I focused so much effort on communicating through writing…was that all for naught?

 It’s like that quote from Khalil Gibran, “If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.”

I’m applying my dream of writing to Gibran’s philosophy, “If you have a dream, but you find you’re not fulfilling it, then let it go for a season. If the dream returns, it was always yours. If not, perhaps it never was…or has already served its purpose.”

Space has opened up for me again. I have some time to think. And my thoughts go toward what I want to write about, which is the first step of writing. It’s the marinating phase – the writing that goes on in our heads before we put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard.

I’m preparing to write again. I’m gaining clarity about what I will write in this season. Shifting my writing direction to suit my current goals and season of life. God has taken away some concerns that are clearing a path to return to writing renewed, refreshed, and redirected.

I’m thinking about the words I will regret not writing.

This dream of writing that faded for a while has returned. And I’ve realized life will bring ebbs and flows of busyness, projects that take us away from our dreams. But if it’s really a dream that’s meant to be fulfilled, it will not go away forever. It will return and return again because it’s actually meant to be. It has a purpose in our lives and we’re the one assigned to fulfill it.

So if you’ve hit a dry spell, are too busy to pursue your dream right now, or have gotten off track and feel like you’ll never get back on, try not to worry.

Here are a few steps you can take until you find your way back to your dream and it finds its way back to you:

  1. Hold your dreams loosely with open hands.
  2. Practice peace in this season by consciously letting go.
  3. Trust that if this dream is really for you, you will return to it until it’s fulfilled.
  4. Know that God will make a way. He’s the author of our dreams.

Are you feeling far away from your dream? I’d love to hear about it and pray for you.

Shared by:  Elise Daly Parker

                         

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An InLinkz Link-up


Filed Under: Laying the Dream Down, Letting Go of Your Dream

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5 Practical Secrets to Realizing Your God-Sized Dreams

July 19, 2017 By Elise Daly Parker 6 Comments

Does the word “practical” sound weird to you when talking about dreams? Like realizing your dreams shouldn’t be practical? I sometimes think my dreams have to be so lofty and a little bit wild in order to be dreams. Like if they seem attainable in some practical step-by-step sort of way, they’re not “dreamy” enough.

Well, I’m here to tell you. Yes, God can make any dream come true…even the craziest, way-beyond-me-est, most impractical dreams. But a lot of times, [clickToTweet tweet=”There are down-to-earth steps to fulfill our dreams-that doesn’t make them less #Godsized. @EliseDalyParker” quote=”there are some very down-to-earth steps we can take to fulfill our dreams. And that doesn’t make them any less God-sized. “]

God plants dreams in our hearts, often in the way He’s made us from the beginning, even before we were knit together in our mother’s womb. And He puts us in places, connects us to people, and opens God-sized doors and windows of opportunity that develop our dreams. He is an amazing orchestrator when it comes to our dreams.

But we are absolutely positively invited to participate! God is a God of order and intention. Just look at Genesis to see how He step-by-step created the world. He had a plan for each day. He has made us in His image.

And this brings me to the first of 5 Practical Secrets to Realizing Your God-Sized Dream…

1.Define Your Dream – No vague, lofty ideas invited here. Who are you? What do you want? What is your dream? Really…Do you want to write and publish a book? What is the book about? Do you know about the process of writing and publishing? Know your options? Or, do you dream of running a successful coaching business (yes!)? How are you qualified? Who will you serve? What are you uniquely gifted to offer people as a coach?

Coaching Challenge – Don’t leave your dream hanging “out there.” Define it concretely!

2. Set SMART Goals – Okay, so now that you’ve defined your dream, how will you move toward the fulfillment of your dream? You’ve got to set goals, so you can move forward and track your progress, which is very motivating. SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely.

Coaching Challenge – [clickToTweet tweet=”Set 5 SMART goals-#Specific #Measurable #Achievable #Realistic #Timely 2 help achieve your dream. @EliseDalyParker ” quote=”Set five SMART goals that will help you achieve your dreams. “]

3. Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail – You know, I’m a creative, dreamer type from way back. I love to “go with the flow.” And while that can make me at times easygoing, chill, whatever will be will be…it can also make me unproductive. Because if I don’t have a plan to reach my dreams, well how am I going to get there? One day will flow into the other. One minute on the Internet will flow into hours. And at the end of the day, week, month, year, I will have done little without a plan.

Coaching Challenge – What is your plan for achieving your goal? How many hours will you give your dream each week? Put this on your calendar…and if you’re not using a calendar, start now.

4. Focus on Your Dream Tasks – Oh there are so many things vying for our attention, turning our thoughts right and left, bunny trails that take us far off our road of intention. What will you do to remain focused despite all the distraction and noise in the world? Will you turn off the alerts on your computer that literally pump adrenaline through your system begging you to respond? Can you silence your phone and all the alarms for a designated period of time…maybe even move it to another room so you can concentrate?

Coaching Challenge – What tempts you away from focusing on your dream? Commit to removing the distractions you’ve identified.

5. Celebrate Your Progress – I used to be a certified birth instructor. After our class was complete and babies were born, we always had a reunion. My new-mom students often expressed their frustration about “not getting ANYTHING done.” I suggested, instead of writing a To Do list, they could write a Got Done list. I challenge you to do the same. Instead of lamenting about what you haven’t done, learn to appreciate your progress.

Coaching Challenge – When you take a step toward your dream, write it down. Track your progress and you’ll quickly see that each step adds up.

No matter how lofty your dream is, no matter how far out of reach fulfillment may seem, there is no substitute for hard work, determination, and perseverance. Do the next thing, and the next, and then the next and before you know it, you will have a dream come true.

Put these 5 Secrets into practice and share your Got Done list with me. I’d love to celebrate your progress!

Shared by Elise Daly Parker

 

Filed Under: Making time to work on your dream, Organizing Your Dream, When Your Dream Includes Writing

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5 Ways Intentional Community Can Foster Your God-Sized Dreams

March 6, 2017 By Elise Daly Parker 17 Comments

Every year, for over 10 years now, we gather as a supportive, caring, listening, praying, laughing, loving community in our friend’s seaside home the last weekend in January. We call it the Wonderfully Not Normal Weekend. There are about 15 of us, give or take one or two who regrettably can’t make it because something, though very few things, take precedence over this unique and precious time together.

The goal is always to get there Friday evening for our first community meal. The menu plan is really no longer a plan at all. It just flows organically. Everyone brings their specialty, along with lots of snacks – nuts, fruit, granola bars, and of course, lots of chocolate!

And, while the conversation could easily flow organically too the whole weekend long, there is purpose in this weekend – to connect, to know one another, to hold a sacred space for one another, to pray for one another.

Community-to connect, know one another, hold a sacred space for one another, pray for one another.

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Because nowadays, time and space, full-time and part-time jobs and ministry separate us. The years of being home with our kids have mostly long passed.

When we first began this holy weekend we allowed time to drift along, with a few non-negotiables. We always gathered in the wide-open living room, the fire crackling in the big stone fireplace for most of our time together. And we listened to one another. Trials, triumphs, tragedies…all mixed up in one weekend.

One had a crisis with a child. Another’s marriage was on rocky ground. Still another had finally lost some weight. One just had her first daughter’s wedding…and then a grandchild. We recapped life together.

Now we’re more intentional with this sacred community time. Each of us is invited to share for 10 minutes about whatever they like or need, as the case may be, to talk about.

Then we, the listeners, get 5 minutes to affirm the designated speaker, ask a question for greater understanding, reflect back what we’ve heard. But we are not allowed to try to solve our speaker’s problem, or fix or advise. The point is to listen…to hear. Finally, the one who has just shared sits in a chair, and we gather round and lay hands on her and pray for 5 minutes. It’s a powerful prayer circle full of love, sometimes tears, even sobs, and lots of laughter and joy too.

Everyone gets her turn over the course of the weekend. And everyone returns year after year to hear, to love, to learn, to grow in community.

What do we do for one another as a band of community?

  1. We affirm – Listening so intently validates our worth as a sister and friend, our lives – lumpy, bumpy, and imperfect as they are, our struggles and our triumphs, it all matters.
  2. We care – The timing of this weekend is perfect – far away enough from the holidays but near enough that the New Year still feels new. We have an opportunity to reflect back on our year. Doesn’t each year deserve that? And then we start to dream, map out, envision the next year amongst people who we know care.
  3. We are present – In the middle of all the busyness of life, we stop. We set aside our plans, our thoughts, ourselves as we listen. We think, we feel, we are present for one another.
  4. We remember – A year can be a long time. As we listen and share, we are reminded of our dreams from the past. And sometimes we see progress we hadn’t seen before.
  5. We inspire – I have a dream to write a book. Truth be told, several books. And so, I’m sure like many of the God-sized Dreamers who show up here on this site, I collect my thoughts, ideas, notes all the time. This past January, when my dear friend shared, I was struck by how her words were in complete harmony with an idea I’ve been feverishly writing notes on. Coincidence? I think not! I am inspired and propelled to move forward.
Our lives – lumpy, bumpy, and imperfect as they are, our struggles and our triumphs, it all matters.

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Our dreams do not exist apart from us. They are in us, an extension of us, a piece of all that makes up each one of us. A dream shared, expressed, acknowledged, accounted for takes shape in community…and sometimes that’s actually where our dream comes true.

What’s your dream? Share it with us today so we can cheer you on!

Want more on girlfriend getaways and friendship? Check out this podcast…

Shared by Elise Daly Parker

                                                                   

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Filed Under: Community, Growing Your Dream, When Your Dream Includes Writing

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Excuses, Excuses – How to Make This The Year Your God-Sized Dreams Will Come True

December 7, 2016 By Elise Daly Parker Leave a Comment

Excuses

 

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Chrome ID: 2774821 © Andrey Kiselev | Dreamstime Stock Photos

I went to bed too late. I just had to clean those dishes that were calling me from the sink. That ended up taking an hour, when I should’ve been asleep. “Oh well…I’m going to try to get up tomorrow morning for my exercise class anyway,” I murmur as I climb up the stairs to my warm and cozy bedroom.

I toss and turn all night. So much on my mind.

And you know how it is, once the thinking starts in the middle of the night, it builds. Ugh…another night of not enough shut eye. Just as I’m finally falling into a deep sleep, the alarm goes off. 5:50 a.m. I can’t do this. I need my sleep. I’ll just hit the snooze button. 10 minutes go by. I’ll just hit it again.

Okay, enough. No more excuses!

 I climb out of bed. Groggy. Led-legged. Achy. I have multiple back issues – herniated discs and stenosis cause pain in my back and nerve pain down my legs. How can I possibly work out? Like The Little Engine That Could, “I think I can, I think I can…”

I’m a little cranky too. I push myself to struggle into my workout clothes in the dark. I don’t want to wake my man. He doesn’t have to get up quite so early. There might be a little envy there.

I head down to my favorite prayer chair. Switch on my First5app. I’ve managed to start my day with God by using this handy little app before responding to the seductive lure of social media.

Oh but wait, something just zinged and dinged. Maybe that needs my attention. It could be something important, something that just can’t wait.

I read my feed. It’s my sister sharing a morning God thought. It’s a good one. We start to chat. “Gotta go. I’ll miss my class if I don’t leave now.” My quiet God time will have to come later.

I’m not used to this cold weather. I hate wearing a coat. One more step to take before I get out the door way too early for my exercise class. Oh and shoot…I need my water bottle! Now I may end up missing the warm up. That’s no good. Should I skip it? Am I too tired? Too unprepared? Too…???

Just get out the door!

 I obey myself. And thank God for seat warmers, which I thought were a little ridiculous before today. We’ve got a new used car with what I viewed as this silly unnecessary feature. However, the heat is slow and the seat warmer is fast!

I pull into the parking lot. Yep…I’m late. It’s embarrassing. My trainer will high-five me, even though I’m late. The class will glance my way and maybe wave as I hastily throw my coat, keys, etc., into a cubby. I have missed the critical seven-minute warm-up. I know I’ll pay for that with stiff limbs later.

I paste a smile on my face and get to it. Thanks Rihanna! You’re a little wild with your words, but you sure do get me moving!

Why am I crying?

 The tears trickle. They are happy and triumphant. Today, again, against so many odds, so many distractions, so many interruptions, so much of my own negative stinkin’ thinkin’ I have made it to the gym. In less than an hour, I have accomplished one of the most important things I can do for myself. Get moving! It helps me physically, emotionally, psychologically.

This! This getting to an exercise class at 7 am is in itself is a dream come true. A miracle.

I’ve said I’d never be one of those people who could get up early…workout every day…go to a gym. I was wrong.

What excuses are you making? What are you saying to yourself regarding your dream?

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What excuses are you making? What lies are you believing? What are you saying to yourself regarding your dream?

No matter what your dream is – to be more fit, to have a balanced budget, write more, build your business, speak. No matter how large or how small…your dreams are worth the investment. You’re worth the investment.

So kick those excuses to the curb. Silence the naysayers in your head. And get to it today!

Take one small step toward your dream. I’m high-fiving you right now. I believe in you. You can do this.

This year I made my dream of getting more fit come true. I signed up for a challenge called Max Fit. It’s a program that offers nutritional guidance, 45-minute classes with top trainers, and motivational training. I’ve lost over 20 pounds and over 16 inches. And I’m not giving up on myself. I’m going to keep working out. Keep making healthier choices. Keep making my early morning workouts a priority. I want to do what I can to live a long life, get down on the floor to play with my grandchildren, hike and bike with my husband.

This is just one of my dreams. But it’s taught me that I can do it – “

With self-discipline, perseverance, and a heavy dose of prayer. I can do it. You can too!

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Let’s make 2017 your year to make your dreams come true.

 

Shared by Elise Daly Parker

 

Filed Under: Dreaming Big, Living Your Dream, Making time to work on your dream, When Your Dream Comes True

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On Holding on and Letting Go

September 14, 2016 By Elise Daly Parker Leave a Comment

house-image1-1-pmMoving. We talked about it for several years. And then, we did it. We actually moved out of the town I’ve lived in for 48 years, and the home I’ve raised my family in for 26 years.

I’ve always loved my hometown. It’s beautiful. The streets are lined with sturdy mature trees. The old homes are gracious, each one unique and original. Ours featured the charm of hard wood floors, original moldings, warm fireplaces, the natural comfort and coziness of a traditional home.

We lived just a few blocks from our town center where we often had breakfast at the Cozy End. I’ve walked those streets countless times with babies, toddlers, and then teenagers. Over the years, the Meyers 5&10, Bonds Ice Cream Store, and Markers Bakery have yielded to The Gap, a Starbucks, and Williams Sonoma. But it’s still our little Uptown center. It’s still my neighborhood and it took me a long time to be ready to leave it.

Long ago, my husband and I made the decision, despite crazy high taxes, to stay in this town until all of our kids completed high school. We loved the diverse, multicultural and multi-ethnic character it has long been known for and which was part of my experience growing up.

Our conversation about moving started three years ago, on the way home from dropping our youngest off to college.

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It was time. Time to downsize.

We didn’t have a huge house, but no longer needed three floors plus a basement, and four bedrooms. The house needed costly care and upkeep. And we definitely didn’t need to keep paying the high taxes.

I knew the time would come to move on, but at first, it was just too much for me to consider. Everything was changing. I was afraid of losing the things that identified me. Made me sure and steady. Gave me purpose.

What did the future look like?

  • If I wasn’t prioritizing my family, what was I prioritizing?
  • If I wasn’t the day-to-day “mom,” who was I?
  • If I wasn’t living in Montclair, where I had almost always lived, where would I live?
  • And where would Christmas be? I was the keeper of the family Christmas…if not here, then where?

So it took a while. I told my husband that, rather than live in this strange neverland of one foot in my old home and the other on the path to the unknown, we should come up with a solid plan.

There were lots more questions that needed answers…

  • How would we prepare the home, freshen it up to make it ready to sell?
  • What would be the process of getting rid of all the stuff we had accumulated over the past 26 busy years?
  • When, really when, did we want to move?
  • Oh and where? The idea of heading for the coast intrigued me and struck me as a potential grandchild magnet. My husband loved the idea of immersing ourselves in Philly, where two of our children and our grandchildren live. Or, was it too soon to make such a change? Maybe we’d just move down the street a bit to a neighboring town.

That year after our youngest went to college we had our floors refinished and many of the walls painted in preparation to sell. Despite the effort, I was uneasy and unwilling to push past the fear and doubt. My husband was ready, but I wasn’t quite there yet…

We stayed another year.

I began to run out of good arguments for staying.

The taxes increased. The house wasn’t getting any smaller and still needed repairs. I couldn’t hold on any longer. So we met with our realtor and put together a plan of action that would take advantage of the spring real estate market.

I was overwhelmed by a sense of peace as we moved forward. We painted more walls and even installed granite countertops and subway tiles to spruce up the kitchen. We cleared our home of personal touches, like photos and tchotchkes, and got rid of about 1/3 of our papers, books, memorabilia, glassware, and sports equipment. We stored half of our furniture in the garage.

This was really happening!! After determining we’d stay in the area, but not exactly sure which town, we began looking around at houses to buy. When our house went on the market, it sold within a week.

It was time to choose our new home.

During the last few weeks in our old home, I sensed God’s reassurance. He spoke right to my heart, through His Word, as I read devotions. He was doing a new thing. He was able to do immeasurably more than I could imagine. He would never leave us or forsake us no matter where we lived.

I sensed God saying,

“It’s time to let go. Time for the next thing. As you let go of the past, you won’t just let go of all those good memories, you will be able to let go of some hard things too, some of the things that hold you back, some of your old beliefs that are stumbling blocks. There is freedom ahead.”

So what does this have to do with God-sized Dreaming?

Whether it’s a move or a dream, it’s a journey. And sometimes to move forward we have to let go of the past.

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We have to trust that if it’s time to leave a dream behind, God has something better ahead.

Are you thinking it’s time to leave your dream behind?

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  • Take time to reflect. Where have you been and where are you going?
  • Seek God. He’s got a plan and His timing is perfect…and He will speak.
  • Take action. If it’s time to move in a new direction, be brave and trust that God will be with you no matter where you go on your dream journey.

Shared by Elise Daly Parker

Note: You can hear more conversations about Letting Go on the Circles of Faith Slices of Life Podcast. Join us!

Filed Under: Laying the Dream Down, Letting Go of Your Dream, When Dreams Change

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How My Weight-Loss Journey Is A Lot Like a Dream Journey

June 22, 2016 By Elise Daly Parker 6 Comments

Path with Scripture

(Scripture Reference Hebrews 12:1-3)

I’ve been on a weight-loss journey. It started 10 weeks ago. And it’s been successful. I’ve lost 20 pounds and 19 inches altogether. I am so thrilled! It’s occurred to me that there are many parallels between the powerful steps you can take on a weight-loss and a dream journey.

Here’s what I mean:

Pay Attention – I call this the neon sign part of the journey. God is behind our dreams and He starts sending us repeated messages – songs, articles, devotionals, people to the point where we just can’t ignore it.

  • My weight loss journey started when I was inspired by my sister. She lost weight by changing her habits to incorporate whole foods – fruits, vegetables, lean protein – and avoid processed stuff.
  • I was further inspired when I edited not one but two articles in the magazine I work for that told of success stories through The Max Challenge.

Investigate – If we feel God is laying a dream on our heart, a wise next step is to investigate further. We can trust that as we seek Him, He is faithful to guide us and help us decide next steps.

  • I Googled, to find out if The Max Challenge program was running anywhere near me. Sure enough there was a Max studio less than a mile from my home.
  • I went online to find out what the program was about and how it had impacted others. The success stories motivated and inspired me.

Do Something –

With some information under our belts, a little action can spur us onward toward our dreams.

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  • I reached out to the owner of the Max Fit studio nearby a few times with questions. She couldn’t have been more welcoming…and she followed up immediately.
  • I went online and took advantage of a $100 discount for signing up.

Be Brave –

Our dreams can call for us to go way out of our comfort zones. And that’s okay!

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  • I was far out of my comfort zone when I discovered that the challenge included nutrition (a weight-loss eating plan), coaching, AND rigorous exercise five days a week.
  • I have back and knee issues. How was I going to keep up? Would I look like a fool? Would I hurt myself further?
  • I decided I had nothing to lose except a lot of weight. Even if I couldn’t complete the challenge, I had to try. So I showed up for a 7 am class every day (another miracle…I am no early bird! Thanks Crystal Paine and Makeover Your Mornings).

Get Support and Accountability – Dreamers need support. You don’t have to go this alone. Bring a trusted friend, a prayer and accountability partner, along on your journey.

  • Though I was embarrassed, I let my trainer know from the beginning that I would have to modify most moves. She was awesome, encouraging me that I was not alone and always taking the time to show me how I could do the exercise safely.
  • Within the first two weeks, I found myself crying as I looked in the mirror. Who was this showing up for a 7 am class every weekday and moving her body to the wild and crazy music? Oh…it was me!!

Don’t Give Up – Keep Your Eye on the Prize – There will be many times along the way that you may be tempted to give up on your dreams. Don’t do it unless you feel God is instructing you to lay down the dream.

  • Oh there were many times I wanted to give up. Wanted to have that glass of wine. Wanted to eat that cheese, bread, ice cream, cookies…need I go on?
  • I was allowed one “Treat Meal” a week and with very little exception, I stuck to it. When faced with the temptation to give up, I reminded myself that every “no” brought me closer to my goal.
  • What was the prize? To get healthy so I could enjoy my life, husband, kids, grandkids, friends for many years to come. I repeated this goal to myself often.

Celebrate Along the Way – Too often we don’t acknowledge progress. We wait till we reach the ultimate goal. But there are many successes worth noting in-between.

  • At five weeks, halfway through the 10-week challenge, we were measured. I burst into tears when I discovered I had lost 11 inches. Nowhere near my end goal, but so worth celebrating…and not with cake!!
  • I am feeling much less pain and physical limitation. It’s not completely gone, but I am definitely moving in the right direction.

Keep Going – Reaching our goals, realizing our dreams, getting “there” may be a lifelong process, not just a 10-week challenge.

  • Though I am thrilled with my success so far, I am a long way from being as fit as I want to be. I’m not giving up. I just signed up for another challenge.
  • I know the challenge to keep my weight off will continue for the rest of my life. This requires me to change my lifestyle permanently.

Rely on God – There is no greater cheerleader than God Himself.

When we turn to Him throughout the process of realizing our dreams, He will answer.

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  • I know that I would not have success without God. He has helped me as I’ve cried out. He has given me the will power I do not have. He has been my constant companion. He has whispered to my heart, “Come to me,” when I have felt weak.

I know you’ve got a dream. Maybe it’s a dream to lose weight, to start a ministry, to write a blog, to adopt a child. It doesn’t matter! If God placed that dream on your heart, then it can come true! I hope sharing my journey can help you take the next step along the way.

Go forward! You and God…you’ve got this.

Shared by: Elise Daly Parker

 

 

Filed Under: The Dream Journey, When Your Dream Comes True

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When the Failure of Your Dream Is Not Really a Failure After All

May 11, 2016 By Elise Daly Parker Leave a Comment

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Have you ever felt a little bruised and battered by your God-sized dreams?

I mean dreams can be so exciting – when they’re moving forward, evolving, coming true! And then they can be dashed. Kaboom! All the work, time, effort, prayer, emotions that went into that dream can seem all for naught. It feels like the failure of your dream. That hurts! And it can be very discouraging. I know – I’ve had that experience with Circles of Faith.

For years, and I mean like 20 years, I had this dream to have a place to share our stories. Through a number of experiences in women’s ministry, I saw how powerful, life-changing in fact, it was to exchange our stories, our God stories. Stories that are expressions of a Good God, a God of miracles and redemption, a God who demonstrates His love in tangible ways, a God who is near, who cares, who loves immeasurably. A God who is real. These stories deepen faith, encourage, bring hope, and glorify God!

I envisioned a magazine (I’ve been in the magazine business for over 30 years) that would serve my local community. I wrote copious notes and journaled for years, believing that when the time was right, the God-sized dream would unfold.

And that’s basically what happened. Through a series of God orchestrations, I met a group of women who had a similar dream. But now the worldwide web was full speed ahead. So we decided to start there and launched an online community/contributor site, Circles of Faith – Where Faith, Life, and Community Intersect.

We had awesome content from a team of amazing writers. We had a good social media strategy. We worked diligently, along with a team of dedicated women. But our subscriber numbers were flat. They never really grew much from our official launch. Meanwhile, the web was getting saturated with more and more blogs…and our engagement seemed to be waning. What was up with that? Very disheartening.

The good news is we have been able to shift our dreams.

That was not easy. But we took some steps that allowed us to move forward. And these 5 Steps to Shifting Your Dreams just might help you if you find yourselves in a dream boat that seems to be sinking:

  1. Pray – This might be obvious, but how many times do we seek the opinion of others instead of going to the author of our dreams? My partner/cofounder on Circles of Faith Kimberly Amici and I fasted and prayed through the holidays as we sought God’s direction. He was faithful to bring us to the same conclusion when we reconvened to discuss what we felt God calling or not calling us to.
  2. Pay Attention – God is so good at communicating with us if we look, listen, reflect. He flashes “neon sign” messages through songs on the radio, a sermon, a conversation that leads to an ah-ha moment. Also pay as much attention to what God is doing as you do to what He isn’t. Our discouragement can lead to a pity party that blinds us from seeing God’s guidance.
  3. Wait – God is not asleep. He hasn’t left you. Draw nearer to Him. God is always at work. He wastes no experience. Though you may not perceive His actions, God promises to fulfill His purposes in us and His timing is always perfect.
  4. Don’t Go It Alone – I am blessed with a partner and CoFounder who is diligent to pray and who is also very different from me, so we complement each other. I also have many praying friends and I reached out to them during our season of discernment asking them to please keep us in their prayers. Don’t be afraid to ask for prayer or a sounding board from an honest trusted person or even tribe.
  5. Trust – God loves you and He has good plans for you. That never changes, no matter how you feel. There is a new dream, an adjusted dream, a better dream around the corner. When you let go of what was, you open yourself up to what can be ahead.

The process of discernment, letting go, and gearing up for what we feel called to next through Circles of Faith has not been easy. At times it’s been disappointing and frustrating. But we feel certain that God is going before us and leading us. We’ve had some wonderful live events, which have allowed us to share stories in new and exciting ways – our Story Slices series is one of the results. And we are gearing up to launch our podcast, which will continue to allow us to gather with women and share stories in a fresh and dynamic way.

Have you had a dream shift? I’d love to hear about it!

God promises to fulfill His purposes and His timing is perfect.

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Shared by: Elise Daly Parker

Filed Under: Community, Laying the Dream Down, Stories from Dreamers, The Dream Journey, The Ups and Downs of Dreaming, When Dreams Change

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When Your Dream Feels Unanchored

February 15, 2016 By Elise Daly Parker 9 Comments

When your dream feels unanchored

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© Nikos Koravos | Dreamstime Stock Photos

Have you ever lost sight of your God-sized dream? Ever felt like it’s floating away? Have you ever come to a place where you’ve been tossed and turned by the waves of uncertainty?

That’s where I am right now. And I can tell you I don’t like it. There are times in my life when I’ve been so sure of my God-sized dreams…this is not one of those times. In fact, the thing I’m most sure of is the uncertainty I feel.

My dreams have faded, even been dashed. I am disappointed. I feel like a failure.

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I’ve lost sleep over this. Shed a few tears. I don’t do “let go” or “release” well (my One Word for the New Year is “story,” but God gave me a second word that won’t go away…release!). No, I pretty much hold on for dear life. I’m very comfortable with what is and the unknowns make me so uneasy.

So what does a dreaming girl do in the midst of these rough waters that threaten to sink my dreams?

Well I haven’t done this in a while. I hit the decks, which in my case means I got down on the floor and laid, face down, journal and pen beside me, and cried out to God. I asked Him to please help me. Please let me know He’s still there. Please assure me that He’s not finished with me yet. Give me hope. Give me a glimpse of His glory.

For a few minutes I just lay there. I didn’t feel anything. I just tried to still myself. To stop wrestling and questioning and pleading. I asked God to please speak to me. I invited Him in. “God you know where I am. Please give me something…a touch from you.”

And then I was quiet. You know, we really can’t hear God if we don’t stop talking.

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I remained still, pushing away To Dos and distraction.

I didn’t hear much. No booming voice. But a few thoughts edged into my mind that I believed could be from God. They were at least good thoughts. Positive thoughts. Reassuring thoughts. So I wrote them down in my beautiful bright turquoise journal with the gold lettering, “For I know the plans I have for you.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

And then I got up feeling a bit calmer and ready to face my day. I grabbed my iPhone and headed to my favorite chair. When I looked down at my screen, there it was. God’s wink…His assurance that He sees me, He knows me, He loves me, and He hears the cries of my heart.

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

It felt like God had reached down from Heaven, grabbed my phone, scrolled over my notes, and led me to the exact words I needed to hear.

And would you believe the very next day I found a piece of paper dated 3-2-11, five years ago, that somehow floated to the top of a pile. It was essentially a journal entry based on a devotional I had read. It began, “Lord I need some assurance today that I am heading down the path you’ve set out for me…” It ended with, “I feel a prompting to start to map out a retreat designed to help people learn their stories and tell them. Don’t have much time for that now, but I can take baby steps.”

In just a matter of a few weeks, we, I along with an awesome group of women from Circles Of Faith Media, are hosting the first Your Story Your Influence Retreat. It’s going to be a day of powerful worship, inspiring speakers, and blessed fellowship. Our goal is to gather, inspire, and share our stories as a means of influencing a world that needs hope, joy, and restoration. It’s the fulfillment of a dream I had lost sight of, but He hadn’t!

Have you ever experienced a time of uncertainty about your God-sized dream? Have you wondered if your dream was floating away? Over the past couple of days, I’ve called out to God to please send me an anchor. And He has. I believe He’ll do the same for you.

In the meantime, here are some Scriptures to hang on to:

What I have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do. Isaiah 46:11b

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; Psalm 138:8a ESV

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

Shared by Elise Daly Parker

Filed Under: Fears Tossing Your Dream, Laying the Dream Down, The Ups and Downs of Dreaming

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5 More Tips to Help You Be a Better Writer

November 30, 2015 By Elise Daly Parker 1 Comment

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Back in October I shared 5 Tips to Improve Your Writing, and since so many of us God-sized Dreamers have dreams that include writing, I thought I’d give you 5 more tips.

You’ll find exercises where applicable because with writing, as with many other skills, practicing is the key to improvement.

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Read Your Copy Out Loud – I promise you, if you do this one simple thing before you hit publish, your writing will improve. When we read in our heads, we tend to fill in blanks where a word is missing or even transpose a word or letter automatically. Reading out loud helps you pick up on typos, missing words, and clumsy sentences.

Exercise: Slow down. Read your story or article out loud. Do you trip over any words? Is there one sentence that is so long you’ve run out of breath at the end of it? Could this sentence be broken into two? Is your writing clear and concise? Are you stumbling over a sentence? How about those prepositions at the end of your sentences (at, of, for)? While it is acceptable nowadays to leave prepositions hanging…you should at least know you’ve done so and make a conscious decision to leave it in or take it out.

  1. Avoid Vague Words – These are words that don’t express much of anything. They are vague, boring, and overused. Here are some examples: some, interesting, favorite, important, finally, very, great. When you use these words, you are not painting a clear picture. Oftentimes, you are using unnecessary words that end up as filler, adding little to your story.

Exercise: Read through a blog post or article you’ve written and look for words you’ve included from the sample list above. Replace them with descriptive vibrant language and watch your copy come to life on the page. Instead of interesting, use a descriptive word, or a few, that more specifically define your experience.

  • The book was interesting.
    • The book was hilarious, insightful, life-changing,
  • I was very hungry!
    • I was famished.
  1. Write Tight – Even with esoteric and creative writing, sentences and descriptions that go on and on can bore our readers and leave them confused…unable to follow your storyline. Writing tight means we’ve got a clear central message, our copy supports that message without going off on a tangent, we aren’t adding unnecessary information, and we aren’t repeating ourselves.

Exercise: Try reading one of your favorite pieces of your copy – a story, blog post, article. And ask yourself: Is my one central point clear? Have I supported that point? Did I go off topic? Is there any information I could eliminate? Did I repeat myself?

  1. Show Don’t Tell – Have you ever had the experience of reading a book that takes you away? A well-written book can literally transport you to a garden, on the frontlines, to a castle, to a village in Calcutta. That’s showing. Showing requires you to bring your characters and scenes to life with specific details and clearly painted images and the use of similes, metaphors and vivid verbs.

Here’s an example of telling:

About 12 years ago, my family and I set out on a 40-day trip across the country. We stopped along the way at major landmarks, which made the trip so interesting.

Here’s the same information, using tools of showing:

On July 5, 2002, we buzzed with excitement as we set out on a cross-country adventure of a lifetime. The mini-van was filled to bursting with pillows, coloring books, stories on tape, a few favorite outfits for each of us—my husband and I, plus three daughters, ages 13, 11, and 6. Off we went…the breathtaking majesty of the Grand Canyon, rich red clay formations of the Badlands, the predictable glory of the Old Faithful Geyser beckoned.

Now your turn…

Exercise: Try your hand at showing using these telling sentences.

  • I went on a trip to Thailand. The people are different and fascinating. I learned a lot about their culture.

 

  • Ice cream is one of my very favorite foods. I tend to go for an ice cream sundae with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge.

 

  • Recently, I was invited to go bungee jumping. I was so scared. To my surprise, I did it!

 

  1. Don’t Assume – While we’re aiming for writing tight, we also don’t want to leave holes in our copy. We have to be sure to include the basic elements of Who, What, Why, When, Where, and How, even if we’re writing a first-person narrative. We can weave these elements into our story so our readers aren’t left wondering.

Exercise:   Use this simple handy worksheet to make sure your story includes the basic five Ws and How. http://www.studenthandouts.com/3web/fivewsandhow.pdf

Writing is a skill that can be developed. All of us can improve.

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The best way to do that is write, write, write. These tips can keep us on our writing toes! Let me know if you have any writing questions and I’ll try to answer. I’d love to hear your writing tips too. Please share in the comments.

Shared by Elise Daly Parker. 

Filed Under: Living Your Dream, When Your Dream Includes Writing

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