On Wednesdays we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your dreaming stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we welcome back Regan Seward to God-sized Dreams. She shares some important encouragement and wisdom for moms…but really, we can all learn something from these words and reminders. Thanks for being here today, Regan!
The pressure of “mom perfection” kept me from sharing with others what they may have needed to hear.
I feared that I would be judged by others, but the truth is I am my biggest critic. I would beat myself up if I didn’t feel that I had given my children my very best, but the reality is they need to learn that life isn’t about perfection but about redemption.
I wish I could go back and tell my twenty-two year old self that the days I surrendered my exhausted and worn out momma heart were meant to be shared. If given the chance, I would be honest about the hard days.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2 (NIV)
This made me realize how much time I wasted on what I thought a “good mom” should look like instead of teaching my children that grace and humility is the key to a fulfilled life.
I should have shown them that there is no shame in allowing ourselves the grace we need to overcome a bad day or a tough situation.
When we want others to think we have it all together we are really just feeding our own pride.
Being a mom is one of the bravest most challenging jobs there is, but if we choose to only share the victories we are setting our daughters up to fail.
On most Sunday mornings we would show up to church and I would see other mothers with their put-together outfits and their smiling, well-behaved children and think, What is wrong with me?
I was far from having it all together and my kids were usually arguing over who got the front seat on the way home.
But, did I want others to see this mess of a momma on a Sunday morning? No! So I would pull myself together, put a smile on my face and ask my children to do the same.
My pride was keeping me from showing my daughters that if you can’t walk into church on a Sunday morning a mess then there is probably no place on this earth you can.
As I think about what I would do different I would say something like this…
If I could go back to the days when you were little, I wouldn’t try so hard to make mothering you look easy.
I would show you my true feelings on the days when I was falling short.
I would let you see that perfection isn’t something we should strive to achieve, rather showing honesty makes the realness of life make sense.
I wouldn’t have made lame excuses for my inability to keep it all together, and I would show you that when our hearts begin to unravel it is grace that keeps the seams of us together.
I would share with you that the real reason I was hiding behind the bathroom door that day was because I was drowning in my own holy mess.
You see, baby girl, on those days I failed you. Not because I yelled words that stung when I lost my patience, but I failed when I didn’t let you hear me asking God for the wisdom to be a better mom.
I should have told you that time spent on your knees is NOT a sign of weakness but a picture into a momma’s heart trying to find the grace for a do-over.
I didn’t fail you when I forgot it was picture day again…but I failed by trying to show you that life should look all put together.
I should have told you that life is messy some days and I would fail. You, too, will fail, and I assure you life won’t fall apart when you do.
Don’t waste time on chasing after a perfection that doesn’t exist, but rather looking for the opportunity to share humility with others.
This world that we live in will try and convince you that the girl next door or the woman in the next office has it all figured out, but if you will be brave enough to let her see you fail, God will show you that your struggles aren’t much different than hers.
Regan Seward is wife to Russ and mother to three wonderful kids…Bailey (20), Macie (17), and Cole (15). She and her husband own their own insulation business and work together every day. She strives to live in freedom from her past and encourage others who are trying to overcome guilt from their failures and mistakes. She knows firsthand what it feels like to fail in life but hopes to share with others the only true way to overcome it: by living in God’s grace. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin. Psalm 32:5 (ESV)
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