Have you ever lost sight of your God-sized dream? Ever felt like it’s floating away? Have you ever come to a place where you’ve been tossed and turned by the waves of uncertainty?
That’s where I am right now. And I can tell you I don’t like it. There are times in my life when I’ve been so sure of my God-sized dreams…this is not one of those times. In fact, the thing I’m most sure of is the uncertainty I feel.
I’ve lost sleep over this. Shed a few tears. I don’t do “let go” or “release” well (my One Word for the New Year is “story,” but God gave me a second word that won’t go away…release!). No, I pretty much hold on for dear life. I’m very comfortable with what is and the unknowns make me so uneasy.
So what does a dreaming girl do in the midst of these rough waters that threaten to sink my dreams?
Well I haven’t done this in a while. I hit the decks, which in my case means I got down on the floor and laid, face down, journal and pen beside me, and cried out to God. I asked Him to please help me. Please let me know He’s still there. Please assure me that He’s not finished with me yet. Give me hope. Give me a glimpse of His glory.
For a few minutes I just lay there. I didn’t feel anything. I just tried to still myself. To stop wrestling and questioning and pleading. I asked God to please speak to me. I invited Him in. “God you know where I am. Please give me something…a touch from you.”
I remained still, pushing away To Dos and distraction.
I didn’t hear much. No booming voice. But a few thoughts edged into my mind that I believed could be from God. They were at least good thoughts. Positive thoughts. Reassuring thoughts. So I wrote them down in my beautiful bright turquoise journal with the gold lettering, “For I know the plans I have for you.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
And then I got up feeling a bit calmer and ready to face my day. I grabbed my iPhone and headed to my favorite chair. When I looked down at my screen, there it was. God’s wink…His assurance that He sees me, He knows me, He loves me, and He hears the cries of my heart.
“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
It felt like God had reached down from Heaven, grabbed my phone, scrolled over my notes, and led me to the exact words I needed to hear.
And would you believe the very next day I found a piece of paper dated 3-2-11, five years ago, that somehow floated to the top of a pile. It was essentially a journal entry based on a devotional I had read. It began, “Lord I need some assurance today that I am heading down the path you’ve set out for me…” It ended with, “I feel a prompting to start to map out a retreat designed to help people learn their stories and tell them. Don’t have much time for that now, but I can take baby steps.”
In just a matter of a few weeks, we, I along with an awesome group of women from Circles Of Faith Media, are hosting the first Your Story Your Influence Retreat. It’s going to be a day of powerful worship, inspiring speakers, and blessed fellowship. Our goal is to gather, inspire, and share our stories as a means of influencing a world that needs hope, joy, and restoration. It’s the fulfillment of a dream I had lost sight of, but He hadn’t!
Have you ever experienced a time of uncertainty about your God-sized dream? Have you wondered if your dream was floating away? Over the past couple of days, I’ve called out to God to please send me an anchor. And He has. I believe He’ll do the same for you.
In the meantime, here are some Scriptures to hang on to:
What I have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do. Isaiah 46:11b
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; Psalm 138:8a ESV
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6