Every year, for over 10 years now, we gather as a supportive, caring, listening, praying, laughing, loving community in our friend’s seaside home the last weekend in January. We call it the Wonderfully Not Normal Weekend. There are about 15 of us, give or take one or two who regrettably can’t make it because something, though very few things, take precedence over this unique and precious time together.
The goal is always to get there Friday evening for our first community meal. The menu plan is really no longer a plan at all. It just flows organically. Everyone brings their specialty, along with lots of snacks – nuts, fruit, granola bars, and of course, lots of chocolate!
And, while the conversation could easily flow organically too the whole weekend long, there is purpose in this weekend – to connect, to know one another, to hold a sacred space for one another, to pray for one another.
Because nowadays, time and space, full-time and part-time jobs and ministry separate us. The years of being home with our kids have mostly long passed.
When we first began this holy weekend we allowed time to drift along, with a few non-negotiables. We always gathered in the wide-open living room, the fire crackling in the big stone fireplace for most of our time together. And we listened to one another. Trials, triumphs, tragedies…all mixed up in one weekend.
One had a crisis with a child. Another’s marriage was on rocky ground. Still another had finally lost some weight. One just had her first daughter’s wedding…and then a grandchild. We recapped life together.
Now we’re more intentional with this sacred community time. Each of us is invited to share for 10 minutes about whatever they like or need, as the case may be, to talk about.
Then we, the listeners, get 5 minutes to affirm the designated speaker, ask a question for greater understanding, reflect back what we’ve heard. But we are not allowed to try to solve our speaker’s problem, or fix or advise. The point is to listen…to hear. Finally, the one who has just shared sits in a chair, and we gather round and lay hands on her and pray for 5 minutes. It’s a powerful prayer circle full of love, sometimes tears, even sobs, and lots of laughter and joy too.
Everyone gets her turn over the course of the weekend. And everyone returns year after year to hear, to love, to learn, to grow in community.
What do we do for one another as a band of community?
- We affirm – Listening so intently validates our worth as a sister and friend, our lives – lumpy, bumpy, and imperfect as they are, our struggles and our triumphs, it all matters.
- We care – The timing of this weekend is perfect – far away enough from the holidays but near enough that the New Year still feels new. We have an opportunity to reflect back on our year. Doesn’t each year deserve that? And then we start to dream, map out, envision the next year amongst people who we know care.
- We are present – In the middle of all the busyness of life, we stop. We set aside our plans, our thoughts, ourselves as we listen. We think, we feel, we are present for one another.
- We remember – A year can be a long time. As we listen and share, we are reminded of our dreams from the past. And sometimes we see progress we hadn’t seen before.
- We inspire – I have a dream to write a book. Truth be told, several books. And so, I’m sure like many of the God-sized Dreamers who show up here on this site, I collect my thoughts, ideas, notes all the time. This past January, when my dear friend shared, I was struck by how her words were in complete harmony with an idea I’ve been feverishly writing notes on. Coincidence? I think not! I am inspired and propelled to move forward.
Our dreams do not exist apart from us. They are in us, an extension of us, a piece of all that makes up each one of us. A dream shared, expressed, acknowledged, accounted for takes shape in community…and sometimes that’s actually where our dream comes true.
What’s your dream? Share it with us today so we can cheer you on!
Want more on girlfriend getaways and friendship? Check out this podcast…
Shared by Elise Daly Parker
Michele Morin says
March 6, 2017 at 7:31 amI love the way this gathering incorporates the free flow of being together and the structure of getting the job of communication done in a way that includes and makes time for everyone. I’m so inspired by your story!
Elise Daly Parker says
March 6, 2017 at 9:28 pmI’m sure we started less intentionally. But I recall having the same conversations over and over…and I had been learning powerful listening skills that came in handy and helped us set up the “schedule” we have now. Definitely something that evolved. A good reminder that this weekend’s structure has unfolded. Thanks for your comment!
mareedee2016 says
March 6, 2017 at 8:43 amWhat a wonderful weekend. I can see why it would be a priority. I have slipped away a bit from this type of intentional meeting and I am missing it. We need each other to go through life.
Elise Daly Parker says
March 6, 2017 at 8:59 amIt is a wonderful weekend. I find my life is so enriched by this community. Yes indeed, we need one another! Maybe it’s time:)
Dawn Boyer says
March 6, 2017 at 9:27 amElise,
These words here are a sacred space of gathering, too. They were both wisdom and grace to my heart today; I am grateful for that. I love the idea of gathering with friends, intentionally, to pray, to love, to blend hope and faith together. That is a blessing indeed, but I am sure it has not come without sacrifice. What an encouragement.
Praying your writing dreams become a reality!
Blessings,
Dawn
Elise Daly Parker says
March 6, 2017 at 9:25 pmThank you Dawn! So thankful to touch your heart today. This gathering has gotten much easier now that so many of our kids are grown. It was harder when we had to leave our busy homefronts. It has been so worth the juggling.
Mandy Hughes says
March 6, 2017 at 11:06 amA weekend away, time to reconnect or bond all the more is so very precious. I’m glad you all take time for this. I love how you said you have a speaker share and agree not to try to fix any problems they may have. Instead, you all pray for them. As women, we are so prone to give advice, not in a harmful way, we just want to help. But in listening and then praying, you’re really allowing God to be be their guide, acknowledging His advice as the very best. Thanks for sharing, Elise <3
Elise Daly Parker says
March 6, 2017 at 9:30 pmIt’s true Mandy! What better to do than invite God into our concerns. And I know I love when my sisters in Christ gather round me in prayer…it’s safe to assume this would be true for pretty much anyone.
Patti says
March 6, 2017 at 11:19 amI love the idea of this! Accountability comes to mind too. I love Bible/prayer time with close friends.
Elise Daly Parker says
March 6, 2017 at 9:32 pmYes Patti there definitely is some accountability too. Because we have a scribe who records key things from year to year, we can reflect back on things we may have forgotten.
Mel Schroeder says
March 6, 2017 at 11:50 amI think this is one of my favorite posts ever at GSD. As I read your words, it brought back that dream of depth in community to my heart. It sounds wonderful and feels so far off at the same time…but you inspire me to try something like this with the close friends I have. I’m praying about what that looks like. And now I just miss you, too…I think it’s time for another trip to NY. (I’m hinting to hubby…this August is our 15th.) 😀 Love you lots, friend!
Elise Daly Parker says
March 6, 2017 at 9:35 pmAwwwwww sweet Mel! It is so worth it to develop these deeper relationships. They are such treasures. Each friend brings their gifts and talents, sorrows and woes, joys and inspiration. Quite extraordinary! Come see our new home:)
Becky Hastings says
March 6, 2017 at 2:58 pmWhat a beautiful model for loving one another! I long so much for this kind of community. I find myself struggling to find people who get me…all of me.
I have my kids school friends. I have family. I have non-christian friends. I have church friends. I have a few writer friends (although they’re all online). I long so much for a group of women who understand all aspects of who I am and who can connect with one another.
Your post as stirred a simmering longing in me for this kind of relationship!
Elise Daly Parker says
March 6, 2017 at 9:39 pmI pray Beth that this will happen for you. This unfolded out of first several Momsinprayer.org groups. Then we started meeting Fridays. One friend felt led to host Beth Moore, Joyce Meyers, Charles Stanley, etc, studies. Then another friend asked us to come for a weekend down the shore. Now more than 10 years later we enjoy our annual Wonderfully Not Normal Weekend. Take that first step. Blessings!!
Megs says
March 7, 2017 at 9:36 amWhat a wonderful time of community that you all share! I pray a lot for friends like that. Happy Tuesday! Megs
edalyparker says
March 7, 2017 at 1:29 pmHi Megs! It’s true…we are very blessed. And I do pray that you will have friends like I do – who you can trust, who listen to one another, who can pray together. And believe me, when I was a young mom, about 25 years ago, I was desperate for praying friends. I cried out to the Lord frequently. I felt so alone! And then He led me to that one friend at the bus stop. And together we started praying in a Moms In Prayer group (MomsInPrayer.org). Most of those friends that meet at the gathering I’ve described started with that common interest. A desire to pray.
One of the things I’ve found is that there is a lot we can do to cultivate friendship. I used to think that friendship should just “happen.” We had this discussion on our podcast recently and I think you might find it helpful. There are also some great hints, tips, and links in our show notes. Take a look. I hope and pray you will find this helpful! http://bit.ly/2l4jp50 Thanks for your comments and for stopping by. Happy Tuesday to you!
Megs says
March 7, 2017 at 3:23 pmThank you so much! That will help me. And I appreciate your encouragement! It’s refreshing and gives me great hope. Thank you! Thank you! Happy Tuesday!!