On Wednesdays, we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we are excited to welcome Edie Emory to God-sized Dreams. She shares how we can trust God even if His calling doesn’t make sense to us. Thanks for sharing your story here today, Edie!
God didn’t ask me what I thought. He gave no indication that He cared about my comfort at all.
I knew my faith had grown stagnant. I was settled into my life with my job, my family, that steady income that always paid the bills. Sure, I went to church, participated in various ministries, even had a quiet time in the morning.
But I was too comfortable.
So He made me uncomfortable.
The job I had loved became something I dreaded.
Leaving my child for nine hours of daycare got harder.
All the things I had enjoyed about my day-to-day life no longer gave me joy.
Misery was my new companion. Unhappiness was my most frequent emotion.
I wanted to be home with my son and to start using the gift of writing that God had given me. I didn’t mind working a part-time job to make it happen, but on paper, a part-time job wouldn’t cut it to meet our needs. I thought maybe something more flexible might work, so I began to apply for other jobs that were fewer hours and had more flexibility. The interviews I had were great but never panned out.
God spoke to me almost as if we were sitting face-to-face. He told me to stop trying to find a solution on my own and just trust Him. He told me to put in a notice at my job and prepare to come home to my son. And leave the details to Him.
Now, I have to tell you that I need security in every aspect of my life and nowhere is this truer than in my finances. I really thought I must have misheard Him. After all, we were already pushing the budget to its limits with the two full-time incomes we had.
But the more I went on, the more I realized that He was telling me to leave my job, with its security and the steady paycheck. Not only that, but He wanted me to write.
So I started a blog, thinking that would be the money-maker that would replace that income. But it didn’t.
I checked out some remote work opportunities thinking that they would bring the money in to placate my fears. But none of them did that.
My husband was presented with a possible opportunity to move up in his job. Surely this was it! But he didn’t get the job.
So the date that I had set to leave my job came and went and I still saw no way that we would be able to make ends meet. But I kept on trusting, even when it didn’t make sense.
June was okay. We had some leftover income from my full-time job and it would be tight but we would be fine.
But when I started to look at July’s budget…yikes.
I honestly did not know how our bills would be paid. We were several hundred dollars in the hole. So I took that deficit and put it in an income category on our budget worksheet called “God.” Although I knew He provided all of our income, I knew He was going to have to do something extraordinary to make that extra income we needed happen.
So maybe He would give me a great work-at-home job that would pay it.
Maybe my husband would get a big bonus for the month that would cover it.
Perhaps a long lost relative would send us a big, fat check.
Honestly, at the end of the month, I don’t know how He provided. He just did. All I know is that we went from several hundred dollars in the hole at the beginning of July to have a surplus at the end of July. And we didn’t even have to use any savings.
And when He works, He doesn’t do it in the ways that seem the most reasonable to us.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)
If we had achieved our budget through the means I thought was best, we might have taken some credit. But He did it in ways that would only allow us to point to Him as our sustenance and provider.
There are still days when I’m not sure quite how we will make it. And honestly, there are days when I question this place to which He has led us. But one thing I do know:
“if we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself.” – 2 Timothy 2:13 (ESV)
Thankfully, His faithfulness does not depend on our fluctuations between worry and trust. I know He will continue to provide.
Even when it doesn’t make sense to me.
Edie Emory is a wife, mom, and daughter of the King from South Carolina. After years in a traditional work environment, she has come home to be with her young son and pursue her passion for ministry through writing. She also enjoys spending time with her family, singing, reading, baking, watching sports, and serving in her church. You can connect with Edie on her Blog, Facebook, Twitter, IG and Pinterest.
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