On Wednesdays we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your dreaming stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we are excited to welcome Nichole Hall to God-sized Dreams. She shares about how God used her pain and turned it into purpose. Thanks for being here today, Nichole!
Being a writer, a wife and a mom is not easy with a chronic illness. Fifteen years of guilt and inadequacy weighs down on the healthiest of women. The burden too hard to bear my selfish desires sought a way to escape the pain. The physical pain, the emotional pain and even the spiritual pain hurt. Satan tempted me with lies and I formulated a plan to leave this earth. But God had other plans.
I tested my feelings and thoughts against Scripture and knew my heart deceived me. Satan controlled it. Scripture proved it. Jesus came to bring life, not death and I reached my hand up to Jesus from my pit of despair and He pulled me out.
I wanted to avoid pain, but Jesus wanted to bring me through it. Because through the pain is the only way to transformation. While scared and uncertain, God said, “Trust me.” And I did.
But this road to trust was not an easy one. It became a battle of the wills. I wrestled with God, struggling to have relationship with Him and still get my way. We hashed it out, one prayer at a time. And friend, fighting the will of God is exhausting. Once I surrendered my white flag I realized God’s plan was better than my own.
He walked me through the pain and turned my pain into purpose. A divine purpose. The journey, long and hard, proved to be worth the surrender. Because there’s freedom in surrender, no matter the cost. (<====Tweet this.) And now that I’m free, I live my life one day at a time for God. My life is His to do with as He pleases. It is a daily sacrifice to lay down my will before the Father and obey. A living sacrifice.
But this didn’t mean my pain stopped or that He healed me. I still live with chronic illness. For me, God’s glory is brought through my illness rather than my healing. My illness is my thorn in the flesh reminding me the only reason I can get out of bed every morning is because of Him.
God is big. And when you lay your life down for His purposes, He will use you. He has used me to minister to many women in crisis. Some crisis brought about by circumstance and some brought about by sin. When crisis comes transformation will follow, but only if you wave your white flag. Regardless of how the crisis comes, Jesus is the answer. (<====Tweet this.)
His power is made perfect in my weakness and He will do the same for you. No matter what your struggle within this season of life, know that God wants to walk with you. He wants relationship with you. You may have read all about Him, but have you experienced Him? Quit fighting the will of God and surrender.
Question: What is your struggle? Will you allow Jesus to walk you through the pain to bring about His divine purpose for you?
Photo Credit: Ian Sane
Nichole is a writer, a wife and a mom. Living with a chronic illness has enabled her to understand a broken spirit and how to find Christ in the chaos of suffering. She has walked side by side with women in crisis helping them through their own transformation and seeking God’s divine purpose for their lives. She writes romantic suspense, historical and non-fiction works. Nichole holds the position of Treasurer for ACFW Arkansas and has been Secretary for both ACFW Arkansas and White County Creative Writers Group. Nichole organizes her church’s Annual Ladies Retreat and speaks at local ladies events sharing her own story of how the Lord transformed her into who she is today. She lives in Arkansas with her beloved husband and two beautiful daughters. You can connect with Nichole on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and her Website!
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