On Wednesdays, we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your dreaming stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we are excited to welcome back Maria Drayton to God-sized Dreams. She shares how God opened her eyes to His love for each of His children. Thanks for being here today, Maria!
It was almost impossible for me to understand the love of God before I became a parent. Even in that struggle to know Him, it became even more difficult because my father was not present in my life growing up. For many years I sought out the affection of men to fill the need I had for love and affection. I wish I could say that I had a great example in my mother in what to look for in men, but I didn’t. Not only was my father not in my life, the next male figure I had was my sister’s father who was not only abusive to my mother but to me also.
After many years of watching her searching for the love of a man, and many years of watching her fail at those relationships, I really had no clear representation of a true male figure in my life. After many years of beating my own head against the wall with failed relationships, I had come to the end of myself…the end of everything I had been taught or shown and I was desperate. Desperate to know Him because I had nowhere else to go but up.
But when the Lord came knocking on the door of my heart, I did not trust Him. I trusted no man. And I definitely couldn’t trust or love God.
Trust took a couple of decades for Him to build inside my heart. I remember in the beginning of my seeking Him, all He would say if I asked Him anything was, “Trust me.” Now again this took years for me to recognize His voice. I remember at one point I realized it was easiest for me to recognize His voice because it was almost always opposite from my own. During those years, the Holy Spirit was my teacher. He taught me, “Mine is the first voice you will always hear; anything after is not from Me.”
So I was learning to trust Him, but it was a struggle and wasn’t easy. All my life I had been taught to believe what I saw, not what I could not see. But the years passed; the trials came, the tears fell, the victories were few and far between but still they came. I believe He made it that way so that I would learn to simply “trust Him.”
It wasn’t until I had my son that I truly begin to see things thru God’s eyes. Oh, the love I had for this child. It was immediate. He didn’t have to work for it, I just gave it freely. It didn’t matter what he did, I had mercy and grace to cover it. But one day the Lord showed me something else. He showed me how heart-broken He was when His children don’t want a relationship with Him.
Although He gave His love freely and was ever-merciful and patient, there was no relationship. That’s what He truly longs for…a relationship. He showed me with my own son one day thru an analogy.
“What if after having your son, loving him, taking care of him, and training him, one day he decided that he was going to leave your home and never call, never stop by to visit, never send pictures, never share his world with you (his life challenges, dreams, friends), how would you feel? This is what is happening in the world today.”
I was heartbroken. I understood. All He wants is a relationship. Jesus spoke of this often in parables,
Matthew 25:11-13 tells us, “Later the others also came. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, ‘open the door for us!’ “But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I don’t know you.’ “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.”
May we desire to simply know Him. To honestly seek Him, talk to Him, laugh with Him, cry with Him and ultimately be lifted up by Him. That is my prayer, for us to grow up in the knowledge of Him.
1 Peter 2:1-3: “Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.”
Proverbs 21:30: “There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord.”
Maria Drayton, originally from Seattle, Washington is a graduate of Washington State University and has a degree in Journalism with an emphasis in Communications. Maria has traveled all over the United States but currently resides in Deptford, New Jersey, with her husband and son. With a passion for the Lord, she has been serving and walking with Him since 1990 and desires to bring a young, fresh, new look into intimacy with God. Since 2001, she has attended Bethel Deliverance Church and desires to begin a women’s ministry for young women to learn to apply God’s Word in their daily lives.
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