I was so close to quitting it all. SO close.
Sometimes life has a funny way of telling us that’s the best thing, right?
Things were getting overwhelming and I felt, often, that I struggled to even keep my head above water. Between being a wife and a mama and now a NEW mama, six years later, who was re-entering the infant stage…let’s just say it was all becoming too much.
My house looked like a tornado had ripped through it, the dishes continually piled up, I couldn’t remember to actually finish a load of laundry in one day, and let’s not even talk about how many times I didn’t cook dinner…
AND? I was doing good to keep the kids (yes, kidS…plural now) fed and alive.
That’s how life felt two months ago when I messaged my dear friend, Alecia, and told her I needed a break from God-sized Dreams.
I was taking that oh-SO-much-needed break…but in the back of my mind, I wondered if it was a step toward being done with the site, too.
Between an extremely difficult pregnancy and, now, a brand-new baby boy…and trying to give everything I could to my family and life here, I didn’t feel like I had much to offer to other dreamers.
It was a hard place to be.
And so I told her I needed to step back.
A confession? I completely thought this post would be my goodbye one…the one when I admitted I just didn’t have anything left to give and thanked you all for walking this journey with me.
I’m so grateful that God gives us those moments of clarity when we choose to step back and seek Him.
Two months later, I feel alive again. (Well, as alive as the mama of a three-month old who’s still not sleeping through the night can feel…but we’ll go with it.) 😉
The last two months have been a lot of survival, most days, as I’ve navigated a life that has felt overwhelming at every turn.
But there have also been moments of peace. (aka: Naps from the baby boy. They’re AWESOME. Just in case you were wondering.) 😀
And in those moments, I’ve been intentional about sneaking away for prayer and some Bible reading. (Of course with a cup of coffee, because we’re being real here.) 😉 And some days it’s for thirty minutes, other days it’s ten.
But those moments feed my soul and bring me back to where my heart needs…and longs…to be.
I feel ready to dream again.
I’ll confess to y’all that I’m not sure my God-sized dreams, at the moment, extend beyond being a follower of Jesus and a mama, a wife and a friend…and a constant coffee-drinker…but I’m ok with that.
And when we do that? Well, He shows us what’s next.
I don’t know what that is.
But I know I still have dreams. Most of them include just being a good wife and mama and living out the calling He’s given me for this season. But there also might be other dreams, too, that are starting to creep in…the kind that look like a new book from a place in my heart I never thought I’d share. We’ll see. 🙂
I’m good with not knowing right now.
But what I DO know is that it feels good to be back…and to be ready to dream again.
Wherever y’all are in your dreaming season, know that it’s ok…and that if you continue to seek Him, God will show you exactly where He wants you to be.
He’s showing me…and I’m so, so thankful.
I’d love to say a prayer for you today…leave me a comment if there’s any way I can encourage you. 🙂
Shared by: Mel Schroeder