In November I had the honor of speaking to a MOPS group in my local community. I had all these plans about what I was going to say but several weeks before the actual talk, life happened and it hit me hard. I figured that God had other plans for my talk and just prayed that ultimately it would be His words and not my agenda.
I was personally going through a time where I was having to face some of my own failures and character defects, and also some of my misconceptions about myself and of God. This isn’t really a fun place to be, but ultimately I wanted to know God more. Scratch that, I knew that I needed more of God in my life if I was going to find true contentment and happiness.
I started thinking about some of the more “emotional” moments of my life. I am an off-the-charts “feeling” person all the way. So I remember those events in my life that created the biggest feelings…and typically they are the negative ones that stick out the most.
The time that I was embarrassed in front of my entire 1st grade class. Or in 6th grade when I was one of the few unfortunate not to be invited to the biggest boy/girl party of the year. The day I learned that I didn’t make the cheer-leading squad, the one thing I was sure would make me someone. Getting pregnant outside of marriage and the struggle my husband and I had for so many years, Or the day I knelt on the bathroom floor and begged God to save my pregnancy from the miscarriage that was happening.
EMBARRASSMENT / NOT ENOUGH / DOESN’T MEASURE UP / SINNER / ANGER / RESENTMENT / LOSS
Each of these moments, and so many more, were like rocks that I have carried with me my entire life.
I am not sure why I felt so strongly about hanging onto these rocks, but I did and man, did they weigh me down.
Pretty soon this baggage created other problems in my life.
Unforgiveness, unrealistic expectations, anger to name a few.
It was a hard place to find myself, and the more I tried to manage my hurt/anger/frustration the less I became willing to hand anything over to God.
Oh but friends, I am learning ever so slowly that He doesn’t want us to live this way!
He never asked us to carry the rocks,
The good and the bad.
I was studying in Mark 5:21-43 as I prepared for this MOPS talk and was re-reading the story of Jairus’s daughter and “the woman with a blood disorder.” This is one of my favorite stories in the New Testament. Maybe I can relate to the woman, sick and hurting and desperate for healing.
Because of the customs of those days this woman would have been considered unclean because of this disorder. She would have been separated from society, alone. She had sought medical help and had exhausted all she had, only to find herself even more sick.
I can imagine she was lonely and maybe, if she was anything like me, a little resentful at her current fate.
And then somehow she hears about this Jesus. This man who is healing the sick and He is in her town. The crowd is large that day but she pushes through. If only she can touch the hem of his garment, maybe she too will be healed.
When she reaches for him she is immediately healed. She knows it and Jesus knows it too. The Bible says that Jesus feels the power leave Him and turns and asked who touched Him. The disciples with Him ask – “don’t you see how many people are surrounding you? How could we possibly know who touched you?”
But the woman comes forward and admits it was her and tells Him the whole truth. And he says “Daughter, your faith has healed you, go in peace and be healed of your disease.”
Now I have heard this story over and over again, but I have always missed one of the most important parts….at least for a girl like me.
He calls her Daughter.
Here is an unclean woman by societies account. By touching Him she was risking making Him unclean as well, and yet He calls her Daughter.
I want you to stop a minute and take that in with me. Do you believe that for yourself?
I grew up in the church, I have Christian parents, I have known about God my entire life and yet I still struggle with understanding the unconditional love that God has for me.
I haven’t fully accepted that carrying my rocks is not my burden to bear. Jesus paid the sacrifice for my sins, my failures long ago. He is my comforter and my strength if I call on Him; He is my provider, my protector…why do I insist on carrying all of these myself?
He calls me Daughter.
I place my worth on the worst parts of me…and all He sees is His Daughter.
Friends, I don’t know where today finds you.
For many the start of a new year can bring what feels like defeat at all we haven’t accomplished yet. Maybe you have been carrying around a pile of rocks like I have and you are desperate to be free of them but you just don’t know how to let go.
Can I challenge you, with a challenge I give first to myself…bring them to your Father. He can and will carry them. Don’t let your past mistakes and hurts define your future. You sister are a Daughter of the King.
Wear that crown with pride and start walking forward with me in finding the freedom that is only found in a relationship with a God who loves us more than we can ever imagine.
Shared By: Kristin Smith