On Wednesdays we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we are excited to welcome back our friend Julie Dibble to God-sized Dreams. She is sharing how her dreams changed when God helped her SLOW down! Thanks for being here today, Julie!
With the wind in my hair, I used to speed from town to city while networking via my blessed cell phone. I was the director of sales for a catering company and made it my mission to book a wedding with every bride I met.
Chasing dollar signs is fast dancing with the Devil. The more appointments I made, the more opportunity I had to sell, and the more commission dollars that could be mine.
Answering emails at my children’s bedtime, waking with the birds to prepare price quotes, and leaving pen-scratched notes for my husband who worked nights: what to eat for dinner and where to pick up the kids. This was my life for over two years.
One April morning, after a weekend-long catering event, I emailed my resignation. Truly, I was on the cusp of getting to know the most wonderful, heavenly love, but my heart was not yet fully open to Him. I may have prayed before sending the email. After pressing send, an inextricable peace came over me, leaving the lust for money in the virtual dust.
From there, my life has simplified one painful step at a time. Going from break-your-neck busy to being a stay-at-home wife and mother was like looking at yourself in the mirror at your worst. Ridding myself of thoughts like “I need a job”, “I need to use my intellect” and “What do stay-at-home moms really do?” was not easy. At a turtle’s pace and by the grace of God, mind-emptying molded selfishness into humble gratefulness.
Five years later, I now work from home. Each day, I write. Each day, I dedicate myself to my family first, then I write. Most of my day takes place in my mind and in my home. Surprisingly, I still experience ‘busy,’ though in a ‘too many thoughts I must need to write’ kind of way.
Prayer is my welcomed entry to the day. I prefer dark silence before anyone gets awake. This is sacred time to be still, allowing the Spirit to touch down on my soul. Occasionally, I will sit on the front porch in the early morning coolness. Twinkling stars stamped by Our Creator remind me of His power. Sleeping children after full days of living nudge me to be joyful even in times of sassy pre-adolescent independence.
Returning inside, fleece sleep socks snuggle my toes as I wiggle down in my chair. The computer curser waits patiently for direction. Gazing toward Heaven, I check the corners of my heart. Do I have anything left from the day before to empty, to lay at His feet? Are there any names coming to me? Who is suffering, or who could be suffering today that I can raise up?
My focus returns to the screen. With cathartic calmness, thoughts stream into sentences. Sometimes directly to God, or to the blogging audience I do not yet have. I imagine writing a book just for my sons someday, so they can savor a piece of our relationship after I am gone. I pour my anguish into poetry and celebrate revelations in stories.
The desire to amplify myself has withered down as He intended. Rather, I write to pray, and I pray to write. To help others heal or charge fearlessly forward. The irony of slowly simplifying has been the unveiling of previously hidden parts of myself. Extracting thoughts and desires, regrets and pain, love and empathy from my depths means I discover who I was-and the newness of who I am.
Writing is nothing short of the center of my life. The bread and butter of my soul…..the path to living and loving better. Faith grew like wildflowers in my heart. He called me to speak and write. Write what, I wondered? Choosing to obey, I stretch myself to write every day. The so-called leap of faith for me means staying in tune with the Spirit. When I charge ahead, I wander. When I follow, I surrender. What then is written is of His mind and mine, without distinction.
You may do something you never dreamed of. Breathe, pray, obey…..and praise for The Master’s plan.
Julie Dibble is a Christian Speaker and Author who resides in Central PA. Her walk with Jesus began in her 40’s, for which she is forever grateful. Julie is married to Jason and mother to their sons, Braedon and Jackson. Julie’s mission is to share the Good News: Let Love and Be a Light.
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