June 2016 initiated a countdown: the last 6 months of my thirties.
Though I generally default to anxiety, this milestone was different. Actual anticipation grew as the big day drew near.
I was eager to begin this new phase in my life.
In early marriage and motherhood, I lived in a strange tension of adult responsibilities but not yet “feeling” like an adult. Teaching kindergarten, owning and cleaning my first home, grocery shopping and cooking for my husband and myself…these were certainly grown-up activities.
Then the babies started coming. Hello, adulting. Still, it almost felt like a season of being outside of my own body. I executed all those tasks but still felt so young inside.
I soon came to understand that feeling as losing myself, not being comfortable in my own skin, and being unable to discern my unique purpose in life. Yes, I was a wife. Yes, I was a mom. But who was I? Who did God created me to be and do in this life?
I was living small, riddled with insecurity and brokenness. I didn’t dare have dreams and hadn’t even imagined such a thing as a God-sized dream.
Untangling from shackles like those is slow and sometimes turbulent. It was a constant search for healing, growth, and renewal that led to the anticipation of my 40th birthday. That yearning, struggling, and reaching expanded slowly into a wide open space of possibilities.
And just being done.
Approaching 40 afforded me with an excellent reason to assess. I reflected on my marriage, my kids, my extended family, my friendships, and my businesses. I pondered what I want the next 10 years of my life to look like.
For the first time in a long time, I felt excited, hopeful, and confident.
This would be my time to embrace God’s love for me, who He created me to be, and what He’s called me to do.
No matter what anyone else thinks or says about it.
I gathered with some amazing friends, my daughters, added in some painting, wine (for the adults, of course!), music, cupcakes, and lots of laughs, and ushered in 40 with gusto!
Forty marks a turning point for me, a point of readiness. Yet, it’s taken the learning experiences all along the way to bring me to this place of readiness.
Maybe you’re on the journey to readiness. Are you anxious? Feeling stuck? Yearning for more? Then I want to encourage you! As long as you don’t want to stay there, you won’t. It doesn’t last forever. You are in a season that teaches you who you are and how God loves you.
Maybe you’re right where I am, ready and eager to see where your next God-sized dream takes you. I sense this will be a beautiful season of walking in freedom and long-sought confidence. Enjoy it! You’ll learn even more about who you are and how God loves you.
Maybe you’ve been walking in the rhythm of freedom for awhile now. Although you’re still growing and facing struggles, you are confident in who God made you to be and His love for you. Teach us! What do you wish you had known earlier? My guess is that you will continue to learn about who God created you to be and how He loves you.
Notice a theme? Wherever you are, celebrate the unique way God made you and the incredible way He loves you. And if you celebrate with a cupcake? Even better!
Shared by: Mandy Mianecki