Hi friends! It’s Christine here. Today we have the first of a two-part interview with Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller, of Spiritually Unequal Marriage. For those not familiar with the website, Spiritually Unequal Marriage is a “…community of believers who are living out their faith in Jesus and loving their unbelieving spouse…” Living in a spiritually mismatched marriage myself, I can’t tell you how many times Lynn and Dineen’s words have helped me find hope when mine was running low. Their posts have gotten me through many difficult days.
They have written two books together – Winning Him Without Words, and Not Alone (about raising kids in a spiritually mismatched home), both of which are invaluable resources for anyone in a spiritually unequal marriage.
Lynn and Dineen offer the following words of hope, which we believe will speak to all dreamers.
1.) God-sized dreaming is never easy, but can you share some of the unique blessings and challenges unequally married spouses face?
Dineen: I think the unique blessings that stand out the most is realizing God’s love is not diminished by our mismatched state, that our relationship is often brought to a deeper place because of our increased need for Him in our marriages, and that our marriages are still blessed, often through us, the believer, and our faith. The challenges are the same, to believe that God’s love for us is not diminished, to believe that we can have an intimate relationship with our Creator, and to believe that God will bless our marriage in His faithfulness as we walk in faithfulness to Him and our prebeliever.
2.) Why does it hurt so much to not have your dream understood by your spouse?
Lynn: God created us for relationship and intimacy. We greatly desire to share everything with our spouse. Dreaming together, sharing life’s triumphs and failures together is intimacy. When we are unable to share our hopes, dreams and our faith with our husband, we are denied that intimacy for which our soul desires. Remember we were created that way intentionally. I greatly desire to share my heart with my husband and tell him about all of the amazing things God is doing in my life. Yet, he isn’t able to understand or relate because he is stuck in unbelief. It’s deeply painful.
I have taken those disappointments and the pain right to my Father in prayer. (<==== Click to tweet) I surrender them to Him. I ask Him to draw me deeper into intimacy with Him. I also ask God to bring me into other relationships, Godly friendships, where I can express my faith and share my God sized hopes and dreams. God is faithful and provides both.
3.) What about the idea that our life has to look a certain way, or that it needs to be pretty close to perfect to be used by God?
Dineen: I am so glad you asked that question. If perfection were the prerequisite, then dare I say we’d still be waiting for Jesus to come as Savior of the world. If we had to look a certain way first, that would totally negate the reason He came and put the burden on us to earn our salvation, which Ephesians 2:9 says we can’t. And I love the verse in 2 Corinthians 12:9 that says His power is perfected in our weakness.
I have seen God use even my mistakes to great avail to speak to my husband or someone else. God doesn’t ask for perfection. He sent His Son Jesus to take care of that. (<==== Click to tweet) As believers we bare His righteousness and not our own, praise Jesus! He is the light that shines out in us and who we truly want others to see. To think we have to look a certain way becomes more about our perfectionism and not Jesus’ perfectness.
WOW!! Don’t those words about perfectionism and Jesus just make you want to stand up and cheer?? Make sure to join us next Tuesday, June 17th, for the rest of the interview! (Click here for Part II of this interview.)
Lynn Donovan is a speaker, author, and an ordinary woman who shares with audiences her everyday
adventures of walking in the Presence of God. Her delight is igniting women’s hearts with Holy Spirit
fire, inspiring wives and mothers to step fully into their high and holy calling of marriage and motherhood
with joy, laughter and God’s favor. She has been featured guest on the 700 Club Interactive, Focus on
the Family, Dr. James Dobson’s FamilyTalk and FamilyLife Today. She coauthored the award winning
book, Winning Him Without Words and also Not Alone, Trusting God to Help You Raise Godly Kids In a
Spiritually Mismatched Marriage. She has a son and a daughter and a granddaughter. She lives with her
husband in Temecula, California. Visit Lynn online at MismatchedAndThriving.com.
Dineen Miller believes her years as a youth counselor, a Stephen Minister, a women’s ministry leader
and a small group leader fuel her desire to ignite the souls of others through words of truth. She’s been
featured on the Moody Radio Network, Focus on the Family, Dr. James Dobson’s FamilyTalk and
FamilyLife Today. She lives in the Bay Area with her husband, and they are the proud parents of two
daughters and a son-in-law. Dineen is the coauthor of the award winning book, Winning Him Without
Words: 10 Keys to Thriving in Your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage and Not Alone: Trusting God to
Raise Godly Kids in a Spiritually Mismatched Home. She is also author of the ACFW Carol Award winning
book, The Soul Saver. Visit Dineen online at SpirituallyUnequalMarriage.com.
Photo Credit: Chuck Rogers